Missed this thread the first time and just read through it, now I’m sitting on the john full of hate for absolutely no reason. Thanks guys.
One thing I can’t believe wasn’t mentioned is the “I’ve apparently never flown before” person, who gets all the way up to the conveyor belt with their pockets full, shoes and belt on, then reacts as if they only speak Farsi when told what they need to do. Then just as they are dropping their bag on the belt they realize it has a laptop in it.
(^^I realize some of these rules are obsolete now.)
Also a strong x2 to the mention of the people in the row behind you who use your seat for support in navigating the effort to climb into their row.
Lastly just a funny story. A few years ago I’m in an aisle seat across the aisle from and one row behind Frank Verducci. There was a 6 year old kid sitting directly behind him who spent the whole flight watching shows on a tablet and not infrequently kicking Frank’s chair. About halfway through the flight Frank turns around with a murderous Joker smile on his face and stares at the parent sitting next to the kid. It didn’t look like the parent did much of anything. The kid did not stop kicking Frank’s chair. Deplaning, Frank gets up with the same Joker smile and turns back toward the parents who are, naturally, already standing in the aisle. And he just smiles at them like that for about 5 seconds. Doesn’t say a word, turns around and walks off the plane.