What to look for/preparing for your dog’s death

[Pipe Line]

What a handsome old man. I'm sorry, brother. The only bad part about having a dog is that they don't last as long as you do, and it never gets easier to say goodbye.

My wife said it’ll be time for the difficult conversation after his birthday. I suppose the best thing to do is to just prepare. His birthday is next Thursday. Gonna give it hell with him

 

[DrumMonkeyRobot]

My wife said it’ll be time for the difficult conversation after his birthday. I suppose the best thing to do is to just prepare. His birthday is next Thursday. Gonna give it hell with him

That's how I've always tried to do it: give them one last day of total awesomeness doing/eating everything they loved and let them go out still somewhat on top. I'll be thinking of you guys next Thursday, for sure. I hope it's an awesome day for all of you.

 

[skerfan]

So sorry to hear about this. About the only advise I can give is don't ignore when it is time just to delay your broken heart. Doing what you have to do is extremely hard but you owe it to your longtime best friend to do what is best for him when it is time and don't keep them suffering for selfish reasons.

The second piece of advice is when that day comes let him try chocolate. We always make sure our dogs never have the opportunity to try chocolate because of the health risks involved but when we finally had to make that trip to the vet for our 16 year old springer her last treat was a miniature snicker bar.

 

[Pipe Line]

So sorry to hear about this. About the only advise I can give is don't ignore when it is time just to delay your broken heart. Doing what you have to do is extremely hard but you owe it to your longtime best friend to do what is best for him when it is time and don't keep them suffering for selfish reasons.

The second piece of advice is when that day comes let him try chocolate. We always make sure our dogs never have the opportunity to try chocolate because of the health risks involved but when we finally had to make that trip to the vet for our 16 year old springer her last treat was a miniature snicker bar.

I would say that’s a giant issue for me rignt now, admittedly just finding reasons to keep going. Just not ready, of course. I’ve been letting him lick my ice cream that that is vanilla and chocolate whenever I get some, but I will give him those forbidden foods when the time comes.

 

[Pipe Line]

@kenyanfeline any thoughts/input on my recent post? We’re planning on heading into the vet next Friday morning for an opinion

 

[Adolph Coors]

Morning Update:

Morning walk went pretty normal. He's having some trouble controlling his bathroom timing though. I did forget to mention in my other posts that he has been shitting on driveways and sidewalks the last couple weeks. I genuinely don't know if it's because he can't hold it anymore, or he can't see well enough anymore, or if like the concrete is easier for him to squat down on instead of grass, not sure on that one. But his poop is coming out fast and furious anymore and instead of just pooping in one spot, it's like he'll try to squat down and keep going with each few steps, almost like he simply can't handle squatting down for long enough maybe?

Unfortunately it's almost a guarantee at this point that he'll pee right next to the front window at some point in the afternoon before I get home. Every week day for the last two weeks. I'm sure it's a mix of the steroid, plus not being able to hold it anymore, plus excitement. He's had to pee every night in the middle of the night for the last two weeks now.


My wife sent me a couple texts a little bit ago before she left for work, simply saying that he wanted to get up off the floor but simply couldn't. She had to pick him up. Said we need to get him into the vet and talk to them.


I'm just sitting here at work trying to hold my shit together

time to put him down.

 

[Pipe Line]

time to put him down.

I talked to my wife over lunch and she said he wasn't able to sit up from his actual dog bed by the front window, he wasn't on the hardwood floor. His bed by the window is perfectly stable.



It's hitting me hard today to say the least. I think you're right

 

[Adolph Coors]

I talked to my wife over lunch and she said he wasn't able to sit up from his actual dog bed by the front window, he wasn't on the hardwood floor. His bed by the window is perfectly stable.



It's hitting me hard today to say the least. I think you're right

sorry man. ive been through it too, but sounds like its time.

i put mine down myself last christmas, obviously i dont recommend that but we went for a nice ride and enjoyed our last hour. i did it that way being raised on a farm that things live and they die and God will provide new life.

And dont sugarcoat it to your daughter either, just tell them exactly what happened and they will ask questions but understand. with having a young child that age i would recommend getting your new puppy sooner rather than later.

 

[Pipe Line]

sorry man. ive been through it too, but sounds like its time.

i put mine down myself last christmas, obviously i dont recommend that but we went for a nice ride and enjoyed our last hour. i did it that way being raised on a farm that things live and they die and God will provide new life.

And dont sugarcoat it to your daughter either, just tell them exactly what happened and they will ask questions but understand. with having a young child that age i would recommend getting your new puppy sooner rather than later.

Reflecting the last few days, it's just a day that I never really planned on getting to. You just always assume there's tomorrow. So many life changes in my 20s that he's been apart of, it just all happened so fast.


I am told to just tell my daughter the truth regardless of how tough it is.

PTO at work is going to be tough since we have some new system upgrades taking place in the next couple weeks. It may be a thing where I have to just take it all in at once, hold it together during the day somehow, and then just fall the fuck apart at night when I get home. I don't know

 

[DrumMonkeyRobot]

Reflecting the last few days, it's just a day that I never really planned on getting to. You just always assume there's tomorrow. So many life changes in my 20s that he's been apart of, it just all happened so fast.


I am told to just tell my daughter the truth regardless of how tough it is.

PTO at work is going to be tough since we have some new system upgrades taking place in the next couple weeks. It may be a thing where I have to just take it all in at once, hold it together during the day somehow, and then just fall the fuck apart at night when I get home. I don't know

I'll probably get roasted on here for not being a "tough guy," but I've definitely quietly cried at my desk after saying goodbye to a dog.

 

[Pipe Line]

I'll probably get roasted on here for not being a "tough guy," but I've definitely quietly cried at my desk after saying goodbye to a dog.

I've held it back quite a bit today, but it's started multiple today.

I know it's probably his time

 

[Fitzjess21]

I have a 13 year old lab that has a hard time getting around too. His hips and back legs are severely arthritic and his front shoulder is bad. He is still relatively healthy but it's just a matter of time before he can't move around anymore. He used to follow me when I mowed and if he does that now he's shot for 2 days. I thought last summer was the end, but the vet did blood tests and his thyroid wasn't even functioning. He has about 4 pills ge takes daily for pain, joint and his thyroid. That thyroid pill made a huge difference and honestly prolonged his life. He's a huge lab too, 120 lbs.

The worst part is his demeanor and overall health isn't to bad, he just has old hips, joints and bones. If he were declining mentally I wouldn't struggle putting him down, but he still looks at me like he always has.

 

[Pipe Line]

I have a 13 year old lab that has a hard time getting around too. His hips and back legs are severely arthritic and his front shoulder is bad. He is still relatively healthy but it's just a matter of time before he can't move around anymore. He used to follow me when I mowed and if he does that now he's shot for 2 days. I thought last summer was the end, but the vet did blood tests and his thyroid wasn't even functioning. He has about 4 pills ge takes daily for pain, joint and his thyroid. That thyroid pill made a huge difference and honestly prolonged his life. He's a huge lab too, 120 lbs.

The worst part is his demeanor and overall health isn't to bad, he just has old hips, joints and bones. If he were declining mentally I wouldn't struggle putting him down, but he still looks at me like he always has.

This is my struggle at the moment. Had a talk with my wife tonight. She’s right, he’s in obvious pain, both joint wise and honestly he has a hard time breathing. If he isn’t just laying down then he’s heavily panting. It sounds horrible. Honestly if it wasn’t for him basically collapsing into his own shit a few days ago and pissing on the floor every day cause he can’t hold it, I would hold on a little longer. I’m still torn, but I think next week at the vet is the day. On our evening walk tonight, the tops of his feet would drag or touch the concrete a lot of the time because his range of motion in his hips wouldn’t allow his feet to fully flip back to normal with each step. Kinda tough to explain

 

[Pipe Line]

Talked to the family tonight. Going to give it hell on his birthday next Thursday, then plan on saying our goodbyes next Friday morning. Caught him bumping into the fridge tonight in the kitchen walking to get water cause them back hips just aren’t solid anymore. It’s time

Thank you guys for the support the last few days. I’m a mess tonight

 

[HuskerGarrett]

Talked to the family tonight. Going to give it hell on his birthday next Thursday, then plan on saying our goodbyes next Friday morning. Caught him bumping into the fridge tonight in the kitchen walking to get water cause them back hips just aren’t solid anymore. It’s time

Thank you guys for the support the last few days. I’m a mess tonight

Hang in there man!

 

[dom91932]

Talked to the family tonight. Going to give it hell on his birthday next Thursday, then plan on saying our goodbyes next Friday morning. Caught him bumping into the fridge tonight in the kitchen walking to get water cause them back hips just aren’t solid anymore. It’s time

Thank you guys for the support the last few days. I’m a mess tonight

Hang in there. He knows you've done right by him.

 

[kenyanfeline]

Morning Update:

Morning walk went pretty normal. He's having some trouble controlling his bathroom timing though. I did forget to mention in my other posts that he has been shitting on driveways and sidewalks the last couple weeks. I genuinely don't know if it's because he can't hold it anymore, or he can't see well enough anymore, or if like the concrete is easier for him to squat down on instead of grass, not sure on that one. But his poop is coming out fast and furious anymore and instead of just pooping in one spot, it's like he'll try to squat down and keep going with each few steps, almost like he simply can't handle squatting down for long enough maybe?

Unfortunately it's almost a guarantee at this point that he'll pee right next to the front window at some point in the afternoon before I get home. Every week day for the last two weeks. I'm sure it's a mix of the steroid, plus not being able to hold it anymore, plus excitement. He's had to pee every night in the middle of the night for the last two weeks now.


My wife sent me a couple texts a little bit ago before she left for work, simply saying that he wanted to get up off the floor but simply couldn't. She had to pick him up. Said we need to get him into the vet and talk to them.


I'm just sitting here at work trying to hold my shit together

Just seeing this now..

Ok so one reason I generally start with the NSAID as opposed to the steroid is that there’s a good chance the steroid is causing some of the bathroom problems. The steroid makes him thirsty, he drinks more, he pisses more. You and your dog strike me as a couple pals who just aren’t ready yet. And that’s fine. Be honest with yourself. I know you can’t imagine yourself being ready right now, but you will likely know when the time is right. This is just my own (correct) opinion, but the problem with vets who go straight to the steroid is that it gives the owner a sometimes false signal that the dog has lost control of its pissing, when that is actually more of a side effect of the steroid than I symptom of imminent death.

The conspiracy theorist in me thinks some vets do this just to speed up the process and get it over with.

Again, my advice is still the NSAID first. Just tell your vet that some super smart guy on tPB said he’s wrong and I’m sure he’ll take it well. In all seriousness, just tell your vet that you read online that steroids can cause increased water intake and outtake, and you’d like to explore the possibility of an NSAID like Quellin.

If those earlier pics you posted are recent pics of your dog, taken within the last few days, I see nothing in his eyes that says he’s ready right now. Things can go south in a hurry, and he might be ready in 2 days or 2 weeks or 2 months, but I don’t see it. I’d probably take a more professional approach and not speculate about a look in his eyes with someone in my clinic, but like I said earlier, I don’t think either of you are ready quite yet. (Edit: I typed this before I saw your pose about his birthday. You seem more at peace now and that’s great).

As far as him not being able to get up, that could change things a little bit. I’d still tell you to try the Quellin and give it a week to see if there is any improvement if he was my patient. That’s of course just my own approach.

I’ve been MIA the last few days and didn’t read the full thread, so let me know if I missed anything I can help with. I apologize for leaving you hanging.

 

[Pipe Line]

Just seeing this now..

Ok so one reason I generally start with the NSAID as opposed to the steroid is that there’s a good chance the steroid is causing some of the bathroom problems. The steroid makes him thirsty, he drinks more, he pisses more. You and your dog strike me as a couple pals who just aren’t ready yet. And that’s fine. Be honest with yourself. I know you can’t imagine yourself being ready right now, but you will likely know when the time is right. This is just my own (correct) opinion, but the problem with vets who go straight to the steroid is that it gives the owner a sometimes false signal that the dog has lost control of its pissing, when that is actually more of a side effect of the steroid than I symptom of imminent death.

The conspiracy theorist in me thinks some vets do this just to speed up the process and get it over with.

Again, my advice is still the NSAID first. Just tell your vet that some super smart guy on tPB said he’s wrong and I’m sure he’ll take it well. In all seriousness, just tell your vet that you read online that steroids can cause increased water intake and outtake, and you’d like to explore the possibility of an NSAID like Quellin.

If those earlier pics you posted are recent pics of your dog, taken within the last few days, I see nothing in his eyes that says he’s ready right now. Things can go south in a hurry, and he might be ready in 2 days or 2 weeks or 2 months, but I don’t see it. I’d probably take a more professional approach and not speculate about a look in his eyes with someone in my clinic, but like I said earlier, I don’t think either of you are ready quite yet. (Edit: I typed this before I saw your pose about his birthday. You seem more at peace now and that’s great).

As far as him not being able to get up, that could change things a little bit. I’d still tell you to try the Quellin and give it a week to see if there is any improvement if he was my patient. That’s of course just my own approach.

I’ve been MIA the last few days and didn’t read the full thread, so let me know if I missed anything I can help with. I apologize for leaving you hanging.

First off, I appreciate the thoughts.

Second, this will be a long winded response. I'm sure you'll see it at some point. Anyone else, feel free to chime in with experience in the subject. I'm going to play both sides of the coin here because I'm experiencing both and that's one of the reasons this is such a difficult choice for me, because it simply isn't clear right now, or atleast it's probably 60/40 put down, maybe 70/30.


So, I'm not ready. I don't think I'll ever be ready. Again, we got him at 10 weeks old and he's been with me through every single life event that has mattered up to this point. Multiple college moves, college baseball, hanging up the cleats, starting my first career, starting my second career. Shit, he's one of the main reasons I very quickly pulled the plug on a third career only 3 months ago. Waiting by the door for me in my early 20s when I was out doing stupid shit that we all do in our early 20s, coming home drunk and what not. Getting back with my wife, getting engaged, getting married, having our first and only child. He's been through it all. It is so outrageous in my mind to think there's a very good chance that he won't be here anymore in about a week. What do I need if he's simply not there anymore.

While I don't think he's simply thrown in the towel yet, I also don't think he's not, not ready by any means. I think he's just content with what happens to him. Those pictures are a couple months old now, they're not super recent. They're early spring when it was nice enough to be outside. The sitting in his own shit happened I believe last Sunday morning, and my wife having to pick him up happened on Monday morning. That's when conversations got serious, and my mind started to go everywhere. When I took the picture of him standing in the back yard at the time, just something told me to take it. It wasn't immediate. We had locked eyes for a few seconds and he just didn't look away like he normally would if something else caught his attention. If he could talk, It feels like he would have said "fuck, I'm old. Whatever happens, happens". I'll never forget it, the temperature was just right, ever so slight breeze, early Spring, great evening. Sun was going down some. It was like he wanted to take it all in for a few seconds because he knew there wasn't much left. The walk with my daughter may have been the same day? Same week atleast, I'm pretty sure.


You're 100% right on the steroid thing, and they fully warned me before he started them. On the bottle it says increased thirst and urination. But, they were also supposed to help relieve him of some pain in the hips and make him breath better. I can say for certainty that those two haven't changed. The breathing couldn't get much worse honestly, and it's been a thing for quite some time now. And his gait, and the way he walks, and being unstable has just gotten a little bit worse as the weeks have gone by. It was clear they wouldn't solve the issue completely, but I also think he might be just past the point of them doing too much. We did talk about the injectable. I don't ever remember her telling me the name of it. But I do remember very clearly the pricing for for what it was for however long it lasted, for the one they offered, was pretty steep. It was a few hundred for each shot for basically lasting 2-4 weeks at a time. Just to be fully transparent and I hate to actually say this out loud but fuck it at this point, I'm not broke by any means but I'm not rollin in cash by any means lol it'd be tough to swing it. That was my immediate thought when it was brought up. I will talk to the vet about it and explore every single god damn option before saying yes to the needle next Friday, but that's why I didn't do it a month and a half ago. Plus ,the vet gave me a pretty good sales job on the steroid.



He does still have some great moments where he looks like normal and things are good, but that is very short lived. He has more bad moments than he has good moments. I think also part of the equation is that he's really only interested and hyped up to see certain people anymore. And it's not even all the time. And sometimes it depends on the time of day too. He's my dog and he's ready to do anything once I move, but he is slow getting up. And if he's not laying down, any sort of movement whatsoever where he's not laying down, he's panting hard. And it is for absolutely no reason other than the vet says as he gets older, his throat is simply just involuntarily closing up, and it's just going to get worse. Something with his Larynx and she said it just happens to labs as they get older. Nerve thing I think? No reversing it, just managing it. If he's in the back yard, he's okay physically. Just pace around, enjoy the weather, enjoy smelling things, go to the bathroom, lay in the grass, do old dog things. But, he's still sharp mentally, so that's not stimulating enough for him. He still wants walks. And our 5 year old golden doodle is still psycho, so I have no choice but to burn them both out. We do it a few times a day. The walks take anywhere from 15-30 minutes, depending on what's on the schedule for the day.



So, activity. When we go on walks, he is good and lively for the most part for about half of it, maybe a little under half. It is very clear when he simply stops being lively and just kinda goes into a cruise mode where it's just a slow walk for him. He'll try to trot a little if my other dog sees a bunny or squirrel or smells something, but it's only a few feet before he backs down. I've looked closely at his gait and his hips the last few days and sometimes the range of motion isn't even there, sometimes his hips almost look double jointed, and sometimes it's like his ass pops up in there a little more than normal just so his legs can get back underneath him. There's a good half portion of the walks where he his hip range of motion simply closes on him and his feet almost can't flip back on to his paw pads so his nails or top of his foot will tap on the concrete, you can literally hear it happen a lot. If he's standing still and walking, you can literally see his hip joints working because the muscle is wearing away. He's losing muscle in the back of his body in general. I give him very healthy scoops of what is supposed to be his vet recommended normal food in take, plus treats and bones, and he quite simply looks skinnier as the weeks go by if he's standing up. Last night I noticed he was standing in a certain way, while eating, where his feet were pointed outwards, ass sagging a little, flimsy tail, like he was trying a different method to hold himself up, and I could see his legs wiggling just a little. His legs do shutter more often than not when we're out and about and he needs to pee.


Bathroom, the major red flag for me the other day was him simply collapsing into his own shit and not being able to pick himself up due to his hips being weak. Then there's the continuing to try and walk and take steps while shitting, on either the grass or pavement, because he can't hold the position very well anymore. He has not shit in the house recently, which is encouraging, but it is pretty much a guarantee at some point in the day that he will pee on himself and in the house. I know that's steroid related. My dilemma is I just can't check all the boxes to make him feel better overall, so I have to go with the middle ground to try to touch everything, which in turn doesn't affect everything enough, and so there are daily episodes where he sits in his own pee because he can't hold it and doesn't want to put in the effort to get up and move around and pee somewhere on the hardwood? Even then, what kind of life is that as an old guy to have to pee in the house because I'm not there to let him out?



Ultimately it comes to a few facts that I can't solve it all for him. I want to so badly because I know he's still there. His body just isn't. He looks at me the same way he always has. The people that I've talked to the last few days, that I feel comfortable enough to have this conversation with, all tell me that I'm making the right decision and that he looks ready or content. These people see him everyday, if not everyday. They ask me if I would want to be going through the same things he goes through daily, just to live. And as I watch him, daily, the answer is no. My mother in law is essentially my mother figure in my life, and I sent her the picture of him in the back yard yesterday, and I asked if she thought it was that look. She's had some pets die so I trusted her experience. She replied to me and said "your heart is starting to understand what your eyes are wanting you to see". I'm not asking for anyone to agree or disagree with that, but that moment always struck me because of what I think he would say if he could talk. I'm not ready and I don't think he's fully ready, but I think he's content with life. My wife thinks he's ready, my dad thinks he's ready. They think he's ready due to his quality of life and how he looks daily, and what he has to do daily, just to live. I'm not ready, but of course I'll never be ready. But if prolonging it just to avoid my own heartbreak, while I just watch him continue to hurt more and have bad moments while just trying to medicate it and get older, then that also doesn't seem to be the right answer.


I suppose that's why this is the hardest decisions possible. I won't hesitate to cancel this whole thing if the vet tells me next Friday that they don't recommend it. But I am going to explore every single avenue that morning in that room in order to not do this. But I will prepare myself for the worst as I don't wanna see the bad moments become as regular as they are becoming.

 

[Pipe Line]

I know there's some probably some thoughts that I missed. Two I though of immediately:

1. He doesn't greet certain people the same way anymore. Him and my mother in law are close. It's hit and miss whether he'll walk up to her and greet her when she walks in the door. More often than not, he'll stand up and walk to the kitchen to see who it is, and then just stand there and wait for that person.

2. I guess the only person who can really make me feel totally 100% confident that this is the right thing, is the vet. That unfortunately won't come until next Friday, so I'll be having wild doubt and second thoughts until then. I suppose that's only natural.

 

[DrumMonkeyRobot]

"He has more bad moments than he has good moments."

This is what it comes down to. Think of how you want the end of your life to be. I think most of us would say, "I hope I go before the bad starts to outweigh the good." You have the opportunity, and I would argue the responsibility, to provide that for your dog.