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Things your wife does that drives you bonkers

dsbigred1 said:
Hehe!
Girl I dated for a couple years was on the far end of the crazy and hot scale. We got back to her parents place about 11 and all is quiet, so we start some reverse cowgirl on the couch in the living room. Her mom comes out, so we just throw a blank over her lap. Well, mom proceeds to sit on the live seat and starts up a conversation. During that nearly 15 minute chat, her brother comes home and sits in the chair opposite us, and figured things out, while mom is none the wiser. Of course, he is trying to fuck with us and making vague comments, but her mom wasn’t picking up on it, and went back to bed. He went downstairs shortly after, and we laughed for a minute and then finished what we’d started right there.
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That's INCREDIBLE. During one of me and my wife's "off times" shortly after high school, we were hanging out one day and decided to go back to my house, living with my dad at the time, after lunch. We're on the couch, tells me to read my phone, sends me a "I want it" text. Hard in seconds. My dad, watching TV with us, is literally 5 ft. away in the lazy boy chair while we're on the couch. Blanket over us, I slide my hand under her shorts, finger her for probably 15 minutes, slowly of course so we didn't get caught, while my dad sat there and talked to us watching TV. My dad went out to do something, we went down to the basement, got after it for probably 10 minutes, then went and did something else not at home. Think my dad was outside watering or something maybe, don't remember that part. Was awesome.
 
Jim14510 said:
3 even. Especially when they're young.
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I've got 3 now that can buckle themselves in, it is nice to be able to push a button and they can fly in and it doesn't take 10 minutes of climbing over crap to buckle them in.
 
dsbigred1 said:
I love finger-banging stories! Remind me of being a freshman, and like every girl dying to have a dude’s dirty fingers awkwardly thrust into their snatch.
The dry-humping part really caps this story off! LOVE IT!
PS- the theater is an oddly erotic place. It’s typically pretty nasty, but if the arms of the chairs fold up, it’s a great place to get some action.
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Reminds me of the joke how do you know when a mechanic has had sex? One of his fingers is clean.
 
Pipe Line said:
Longer version:

So the whole deal happened over the weekend. On that Friday afternoon/night, she and her sister and mom went out to their family cabin with friends/family friends. I didn't get a text/call or anything the entire afternoon. I wasn't even invited. We were still together. Thought that was odd, but figured it was a family thing so whatever. I sent a couple texts, nothing crazy, but no response. Next morning, pretty early, I get the "can I pick you up today so we can go for a drive and talk?" Looking back now, 1. Don't let your girlfriend pick you up, pick her up to go hangout. 2. "so we can talk" is never good.


To the car ride, lasts about an hour. Essentially says she's breaking up with me because this was a rebound and she wants to get back with her ex. Word for word, Ill never forget it, said "I'm not okay with never seeing (ex boyfriend) again. I can be okay never seeing you again." Basically the entire time I plead my case to not let this end and that if she goes through with this, then it's over for good. Like I looked like a little pussy ass bitch. Bad. We drive around for a total of like an hour, she drops me back off at my house, I watch her drive away, done.


I spend probably the next 6ish months chasing her around, god knows why, hoping I could win her back somehow. There was a point in time where I did get wind that she did wanna get back together, so I saw her at a frequent, pulled her aside and talked to her for a few minutes, and she said the rumor was only half true in that she was breaking up with her boyfriend again but didn't want to get back with me. Somehow, that ended up being my closure, I said fuck everything, and went on my shenanigans for the next 2 years until my now wife got me to settle down. We had dated in high school for quite a while so she knows my buttons to push.
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I was mind fucked by an ex one time. It was just a really weird circumstance at multiple points in our lives.

A little background. We were high school sweethearts I guess you could say. Both firsts, dated 2 years, thought I was going to marry this girl. Short little blonde girl with big rocking tits. She goes off to college while I'm stuck in high school yet, and it ends. Shocking...I know.

Fast forward to when I go to college. Get back together at one point "officially" for about 6 months, she comes back from her sisters one weekend, and again, boom it's over. Her sister was a fat bitch. Never get back together, but it starts to turn weird later in my college years, I get a random call from her at various times. One to tell me her b/f gave her a promise ring, lol. She was probably pissed because I was hammered when she called and laughed my ass off. The second call, she called and told me she was engaged...to her brother in law. Okay....but why... But the one time it messed with my brain was, she calls me in the middle of the night bawling saying she missed me or some shit....and she's been married for a little while now....Da Fuq woman. Never really spoke to her again except for a run into moment with my now wife at some wedding dance back in my hometown. Pretty fortunate really, she got big, like real big....like her bitchy sister.
 
slattimer said:
I was mind fucked by an ex one time. It was just a really weird circumstance at multiple points in our lives.

A little background. We were high school sweethearts I guess you could say. Both firsts, dated 2 years, thought I was going to marry this girl. Short little blonde girl with big rocking tits. She goes off to college while I'm stuck in high school yet, and it ends. Shocking...I know.

Fast forward to when I go to college. Get back together at one point "officially" for about 6 months, she comes back from her sisters one weekend, and again, boom it's over. Her sister was a fat bitch. Never get back together, but it starts to turn weird later in my college years, I get a random call from her at various times. One to tell me her b/f gave her a promise ring, lol. She was probably pissed because I was hammered when she called and laughed my ass off. The second call, she called and told me she was engaged...to her brother in law. Okay....but why... But the one time it messed with my brain was, she calls me in the middle of the night bawling saying she missed me or some shit....and she's been married for a little while now....Da Fuq woman. Never really spoke to her again except for a run into moment with my now wife at some wedding dance back in my hometown. Pretty fortunate really, she got big, like real big....like her bitchy sister.
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Soooommmmmmmeeeeeeeeeewhat kinda close to me ad my wife's story actually. High school sweethearts. Met at Post prom, she was 16 and I was 17, she was with another date at the time who I was friends with. I still flirted, whatever. I wanted a different girl at the time so nothing happened for about a year. We finally got together when I was 18 and she was 17. I was shy at shit so she made some first moves on me because I was too scared to be turned down. W were each other's firsts as well. Dated about 6-8 months, then her brother was having some issues so she ended it but said "we can still be friends". That meant basically dating still without having the label, so nothing to tie us down. I hung around for about a year and a half into college, nothing really happened so I did my own thing, which actually made her want me back.


Actually, the story above in my other post was while I was bouncing around at home trying to figure out my college baseball career.


Anyway, my bad breakup happens, I fuck around for 2ish years, and actually used my wife on several occasions at the time for booty calls when I had dry spells. Women are smart lol I find out later that she was only cool with the hook ups because she was hoping it would lead us to getting back together. Had a fuckin plan all along lol so that works eventually, dated again for probably a year or so, I proposed and now we've been married 5 years in September. Actually got married on the day Mike Riley lost to NIU, so that was horrible lol
 
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Pipe Line said:
Soooommmmmmmeeeeeeeeeewhat kinda close to me ad my wife's story actually. High school sweethearts. Met at Post prom, she was 16 and I was 17, she was with another date at the time who I was friends with. I still flirted, whatever. I wanted a different girl at the time so nothing happened for about a year. We finally got together when I was 18 and she was 17. I was shy at shit so she made some first moves on me because I was too scared to be turned down. W were each other's firsts as well. Dated about 6-8 months, then her brother was having some issues so she ended it but said "we can still be friends". That meant basically dating still without having the label, so nothing to tie us down. I hung around for about a year and a half into college, nothing really happened so I did my own thing, which actually made her want me back.


Actually, the story above in my other post was while I was bouncing around at home trying to figure out my college baseball career.


Anyway, my bad breakup happens, I fuck around for 2ish years, and actually used my wife on several occasions at the time for booty calls when I had dry spells. Women are smart lol I find out later that she was only cool with the hook ups because she was hoping it would lead us to getting back together. Had a fuckin plan all along lol so that works eventually, dated again for probably a year or so, I proposed and now we've been married 5 years in September. Actually got married on the day Mike Riley lost to NIU, so that was horrible lol
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Holy shit! Take it down a notch Scottie! Quit while your ahead bro! Lol
 
slattimer said:
I was mind fucked by an ex one time. It was just a really weird circumstance at multiple points in our lives.

A little background. We were high school sweethearts I guess you could say. Both firsts, dated 2 years, thought I was going to marry this girl. Short little blonde girl with big rocking tits. She goes off to college while I'm stuck in high school yet, and it ends. Shocking...I know.

Fast forward to when I go to college. Get back together at one point "officially" for about 6 months, she comes back from her sisters one weekend, and again, boom it's over. Her sister was a fat bitch. Never get back together, but it starts to turn weird later in my college years, I get a random call from her at various times. One to tell me her b/f gave her a promise ring, lol. She was probably pissed because I was hammered when she called and laughed my ass off. The second call, she called and told me she was engaged...to her brother in law. Okay....but why... But the one time it messed with my brain was, she calls me in the middle of the night bawling saying she missed me or some shit....and she's been married for a little while now....Da Fuq woman. Never really spoke to her again except for a run into moment with my now wife at some wedding dance back in my hometown. Pretty fortunate really, she got big, like real big....like her bitchy sister.
Click to expand...
Wait, she married her brother in law?
 
betsch said:
I can only imagine the list my wife could come up for me on this subject LOL.
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This might be worthy of it's own thread titled "What drives your wife/fiance/girlfriend to complain about things related to you or your family?"

Mine still brings up the time I brought her to my 10 year reunion in 2008 and a dipshit classmate and his wife had a discussion about what race she might be while I was at the bar to get drinks. It was her first introduction to NE, so that was nice.

FTR, she's half filipino and half indigenous peruvian.
 
hothouse_corn said:
This might be worthy of it's own thread titled "What drives your wife/fiance/girlfriend to complain about things related to you or your family?"

Mine still brings up the time I brought her to my 10 year reunion in 2008 and a dipshit classmate and his wife had a discussion about what race she might be while I was at the bar to get drinks. It was her first introduction to NE, so that was nice.

FTR, she's half filipino and half indigenous peruvian.
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Let’s just stick with complaining about our wives, that list would make me look like a bad person with all the justifiable complaints she has about me.
 
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