Humble Brag / One-Up Thread

[slattimer]

An ex was a massive squirter. One night went to an excess. Got whiskey drunk and we stayed at some hotel in Salina partying with friends in college. Got whiskey drunk and took her to an extended poundtown session. I don't know how that much liquid came out of that woman, but I bet the cleaning ladies wondered what the fuck happened and probably had to throw out the mattress.

 

[BIG TONE SOPRANO]

An ex was a massive squirter. One night went to an excess. Got whiskey drunk and we stayed at some hotel in Salina partying with friends in college. Got whiskey drunk and took her to an extended poundtown session. I don't know how that much liquid came out of that woman, but I bet the cleaning ladies wondered what the fuck happened and probably had to throw out the mattress.

FYI, it’s pee. Lots of people don’t know that

 

[lee_carvallo_12]

An ex was a massive squirter. One night went to an excess. Got whiskey drunk and we stayed at some hotel in Salina partying with friends in college. Got whiskey drunk and took her to an extended poundtown session. I don't know how that much liquid came out of that woman, but I bet the cleaning ladies wondered what the fuck happened and probably had to throw out the mattress.

I dated a gal that loved fooling around when she was on the rag (may have mentioned her before). We were traveling from Neb back to Texas and stopped to stay the night at an Indian hotel and casino. She wanted to get busy even though she just started her period. The poor maids must’ve thought someone killed a Buffalo in the bed. Certainly had to throw everything away, or burn it.

 

[HuskerPAC]

FYI, it’s pee. Lots of people don’t know that

It is 100% pee.

 

[HuskerPAC]

FYI, it’s pee. Lots of people don’t know that

Bunch of reverse R Kelly’s ITT.

 

[Cookiemonster]

Bunch of reverse R Kelly’s ITT.

Do some people not like being pee’d on?

Can’t relate.

 

[slattimer]

FYI, it’s pee. Lots of people don’t know that

It is 100% pee.

Bunch of reverse R Kelly’s ITT.

Zero Fucks. Given.

 

[dsbigred1]

Zero Fucks. Given.

That first time it happens is like the most shockingly erotic thing ever! I can remember plowing gal on a bathroom sink and getting hosed down. It must’ve been like 5 to 10 seconds of “deer in headlights” on my part, and her being very self-conscious.. then I looked up at her, and slid back in for more. Truthfully, it didn’t take long at all after that, and I have yet to ever get as hard, although it’s not for a lack of effort.

 

[lee_carvallo_12]

That first time it happens is like the most shockingly erotic thing ever! I can remember plowing gal on a bathroom sink and getting hosed down. It must’ve been like 5 to 10 seconds of “deer in headlights” on my part, and her being very self-conscious.. then I looked up at her, and slid back in for more. Truthfully, it didn’t take long at all after that, and I have yet to ever get as hard, although it’s not for a lack of effort.

no need to visit xnxx anymore as long as tPB'ers keep delivering the goods ITT.

 

[MtnHusker]

That first time it happens is like the most shockingly erotic thing ever! I can remember plowing gal on a bathroom sink and getting hosed down. It must’ve been like 5 to 10 seconds of “deer in headlights” on my part, and her being very self-conscious.. then I looked up at her, and slid back in for more. Truthfully, it didn’t take long at all after that, and I have yet to ever get as hard, although it’s not for a lack of effort.

I've only been with one Waterfall Squirter. It got messy, real messy. Luckily I had traveled to KC and had a hotel room that had 2 beds. Fucked in one and slept in the other. More or less Blackout Tequila Drunk and just couldn't get off so lasted so much longer than my normal 4 Seconds. She pretty much used up every towel in the place and later used the term "Rigorous" with a big smile on her face when describing our sex. Next day I threw up in the parking lot at Gate's BBQ, that's the only time I have puked from alcohol in 15 years.

 

[lee_carvallo_12]

I've only been with one Waterfall Squirter. It got messy, real messy. Luckily I had traveled to KC and had a hotel room that had 2 beds. Fucked in one and slept in the other. More or less Blackout Tequila Drunk and just couldn't get off so lasted so much longer than my normal 4 Seconds. She pretty much used up every towel in the place and later used the term "Rigorous" with a big smile on her face when describing our sex. Next day I threw up in the parking lot at Gate's BBQ, that's the only time I have puked from alcohol in 15 years.

had sex with this Italian chick once and when she got ready to climax her pussy would tense up a lot and then she would queef really loud. It freaked me out and turned me on simultaneously.

 

[KidsSeeGhosts]

Banged a southern chick that would yell “I’m fixin’ to cum!” Took everything not to just break down laughing mid stroke every time.

 

[BBTown Bomber]

I dated a gal that loved fooling around when she was on the rag (may have mentioned her before). We were traveling from Neb back to Texas and stopped to stay the night at an Indian hotel and casino. She wanted to get busy even though she just started her period. The poor maids must’ve thought someone killed a Buffalo in the bed. Certainly had to throw everything away, or burn it.

“someone killed a buffalo”………🤣🤣🤣

.

 

[Baron Winnebago]

As the only documented follower of Christ on the board, y'all mother fuckers need Jesus

 

[BBTown Bomber]

As the only documented follower of Christ on the board, y'all mother fuckers need Jesus

🙏🙏🙏

.

 

[slattimer]

As the only documented follower of Christ on the board, y'all mother fuckers need Jesus

 

[MtnHusker]

As the only documented follower of Christ on the board, y'all mother fuckers need Jesus

 

[dsbigred1]

I've only been with one Waterfall Squirter. It got messy, real messy. Luckily I had traveled to KC and had a hotel room that had 2 beds. Fucked in one and slept in the other. More or less Blackout Tequila Drunk and just couldn't get off so lasted so much longer than my normal 4 Seconds. She pretty much used up every towel in the place and later used the term "Rigorous" with a big smile on her face when describing our sex. Next day I threw up in the parking lot at Gate's BBQ, that's the only time I have puked from alcohol in 15 years.

Yep, 2 beds is a must. An ex once asked me why I always get 2 beds. I just told her that it was a habit from traveling for business, when I was really thinking, “I’ve tried to sleep in a puddle before, and hotel floors and loveseats are unforgiving.”

 

[dsbigred1]

no need to visit xnxx anymore as long as tPB'ers keep delivering the goods ITT.

I don’t know how many stories we’d all have that could end with, “I don’t know how I got her to do that!”

 

[#HBD]

As the only documented follower of Christ on the board, y'all mother fuckers need Jesus