Humble Brag / One-Up Thread

[#HBD]

He brought out the crazy rage hate anger side to many, many girls (and guys) if we’re being honest with everyone ITT.

I was a lover not a fighter. Those gals shared a common theme… cray cray.

Also, we’re still waiting on the steamy details around your encounter with Miss Farrah.

 

[Jim14510]

My wife found my picture stash on my computer about two weeks after moving in with her and my only backup got thrown out as my parents divorced and split up everything in my old room and basically threw it out. I had a good amount of them.

As for stories I don’t know exactly where I’d start. I think the hat trick is probably the best. Basically was “dating” a girl while at spring training and she was definitely on the crazy/hot matrix which is why I stuck around but for being in a doctorate program she had some major issues. Basically I broke it off with her at dinner one night and went to meet up with the guys at the bar. At the bar I met another girl and brought her back to the hotel. Well crazy girl apparently wasn’t used to someone breaking things off with her and was calling my cell and my hotel room phone nonstop. I explained the girl it’s my ex and she obviously didn’t take things well. I said let’s do something the next day and she left. I finally answer crazy girls call and she’s like I’m sorry I need you etc. So of course she tempts me with sex so I go over to her apartment at like 2 am and have some sexy time. After camp the next day I’m in my hotel and a girl I had been hooking up with that worked for the diamondbacks said she had the afternoon off and wanted to hang out. That turned into some hotel sex. I had lined up the girl I met at the bar the night before to go to dinner that night. She was extremely easy and was back at my hotel room right after dinner and helped complete my only hat trick. Crazy girl ended up finding out about her since new girl posted on my MySpace wall about going to the dog park sometime soon. She straight up messaged her and said I’m fucking him are you fucking him too? After she found out she did that to every girl on my page. It was pretty messed up as she even messaged my now wife who was only a friend at the time. Fast forward 5 years and she sends me a Facebook message how she feels sorry for my wife because of my past life as a man whore and then blocking me before I could respond.

Only pic I could find of crazy girl

dbacks girl

I cant remember the last girls last name so searching amanda couldn't find me anything.

You can see it in her eyes.

 

[alt f4]

My wife found my picture stash on my computer about two weeks after moving in with her and my only backup got thrown out as my parents divorced and split up everything in my old room and basically threw it out. I had a good amount of them.

As for stories I don’t know exactly where I’d start. I think the hat trick is probably the best. Basically was “dating” a girl while at spring training and she was definitely on the crazy/hot matrix which is why I stuck around but for being in a doctorate program she had some major issues. Basically I broke it off with her at dinner one night and went to meet up with the guys at the bar. At the bar I met another girl and brought her back to the hotel. Well crazy girl apparently wasn’t used to someone breaking things off with her and was calling my cell and my hotel room phone nonstop. I explained the girl it’s my ex and she obviously didn’t take things well. I said let’s do something the next day and she left. I finally answer crazy girls call and she’s like I’m sorry I need you etc. So of course she tempts me with sex so I go over to her apartment at like 2 am and have some sexy time. After camp the next day I’m in my hotel and a girl I had been hooking up with that worked for the diamondbacks said she had the afternoon off and wanted to hang out. That turned into some hotel sex. I had lined up the girl I met at the bar the night before to go to dinner that night. She was extremely easy and was back at my hotel room right after dinner and helped complete my only hat trick. Crazy girl ended up finding out about her since new girl posted on my MySpace wall about going to the dog park sometime soon. She straight up messaged her and said I’m fucking him are you fucking him too? After she found out she did that to every girl on my page. It was pretty messed up as she even messaged my now wife who was only a friend at the time. Fast forward 5 years and she sends me a Facebook message how she feels sorry for my wife because of my past life as a man whore and then blocking me before I could respond.

Only pic I could find of crazy girl

dbacks girl

I cant remember the last girls last name so searching amanda couldn't find me anything.

Jennifer Econopouly

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[Baron Winnebago]

My wife found my picture stash on my computer about two weeks after moving in with her and my only backup got thrown out as my parents divorced and split up everything in my old room and basically threw it out. I had a good amount of them.

As for stories I don’t know exactly where I’d start. I think the hat trick is probably the best. Basically was “dating” a girl while at spring training and she was definitely on the crazy/hot matrix which is why I stuck around but for being in a doctorate program she had some major issues. Basically I broke it off with her at dinner one night and went to meet up with the guys at the bar. At the bar I met another girl and brought her back to the hotel. Well crazy girl apparently wasn’t used to someone breaking things off with her and was calling my cell and my hotel room phone nonstop. I explained the girl it’s my ex and she obviously didn’t take things well. I said let’s do something the next day and she left. I finally answer crazy girls call and she’s like I’m sorry I need you etc. So of course she tempts me with sex so I go over to her apartment at like 2 am and have some sexy time. After camp the next day I’m in my hotel and a girl I had been hooking up with that worked for the diamondbacks said she had the afternoon off and wanted to hang out. That turned into some hotel sex. I had lined up the girl I met at the bar the night before to go to dinner that night. She was extremely easy and was back at my hotel room right after dinner and helped complete my only hat trick. Crazy girl ended up finding out about her since new girl posted on my MySpace wall about going to the dog park sometime soon. She straight up messaged her and said I’m fucking him are you fucking him too? After she found out she did that to every girl on my page. It was pretty messed up as she even messaged my now wife who was only a friend at the time. Fast forward 5 years and she sends me a Facebook message how she feels sorry for my wife because of my past life as a man whore and then blocking me before I could respond.

Only pic I could find of crazy girl

dbacks girl

I cant remember the last girls last name so searching amanda couldn't find me anything.

I mean you are kind of a slut

 

[Ext. 55]

Ah Shit I can probably throw quite a few unusual ones out there. I've had a crazy stupid life. I really need to start writing this stuff down. Here are a few:
-Worked Security for Steven Segal
-A drunken Tommy Lasorda tried taking a swing at me
-Was in a Movie with Patrick Swayze
-Tone Loc's Band members had to help me out in a fight when I was pinned to the front of the band stage in a fight with 3 Yuge Samoans
-Pissed off Brittany Spears enough that she mentioned it in People Magazine
-Made fun of Ian Ziering so much that he came back the next night and wanted to be friends
-Sat at a picnic table with President Ford
-Have Drank with 6 NFL QB's who were in a Super Bowl (John Elway, Dan Marino, Jim Kelly, Buddy Brister, Jim Miller, Brian Griese)
-Trained Joey "The Clown" Lombardo's grandson for a job. (Joey might be the most famous Mafia hitman in Chicago history)
-my Chicago cop buddies took me and a lady friend I met at a bar in their Cop Car at 90+ mph down Michigan Avenue at 3am, with the lights on
-Outran about 30 Machine Gun toting Mexican Federalies in Mazatlan
-had a Machine Gun put to my head in Burma/Myanmar
-Cursed out Bob Marley's band The Wailers for leaving a stage early. About the only time I ever came unglued on a band
-Got into a fight with the Austrian Ski Team
-Almost was involved in a brawl with a women's professional football team at the Strip Joint Shotgun Willies in Denver. The starting Safety was mad I was getting more attention than her from the Strippers. Later she actually bought me a Lap Dance. That Lesbian rocked a better Mustache than me.
-watched a football game with Tom Osborne
-Lived on a Sail Boat for 3 weeks in the Bahamas
-slept with a Playboy Playmate and also another woman who was in Playboy for the Girls of Radio issue
-attended a few Jerry Springer Shows, actually was in some of the crowd shots
-have had beers with Eddie Vedder numerous times
-carried Olympic Gold Medalist Johhny Mosely out the back door of my bar at a Ski Race Party because he was so drunk he couldn't walk and would have gotten in trouble if his sponsors saw him so wasted. Was cursed out the next day by the Race Officials because he was too hung over to race.
-Almost threw Trey Stone (South Park) out of my bar. Turns out he wasn't being an asshole, was just wasted
-Almost threw Daryl Hannah out of my bar, she was out of her mind on drugs but had a security guy with her so let her stay as long as she stayed awake
-have bartended in 5 countries (USA, Costa Rica, Mexico, Thailand, Bahamas)
-Stayed at the Rockefellers house in Aspen.
-Walked up on one of the twin girls from the movie The Great Outdoors while she was get fucked on my Picnic Table


@vailhusker gotta have some serious stories too.

You win.

 

[lee_carvallo_12]

I mean you are kind of a slut

show me a pro baseball player, past or present, who says they haven't had embarrassing amounts of sex and i'll show you a fucking liar.

 

[Baron Winnebago]

show me a pro baseball player, past or present, who says they haven't had embarrassing amounts of sex and i'll show you a fucking liar.

The only mystery here is whether Gumby is into group sex or REALLY into group sex

 

[Pipe Line]

show me a pro baseball player, past or present, who says they haven't had embarrassing amounts of sex and i'll show you a fucking liar.

shit, college even. My best friend was a stud pitcher at Pickle Smoochers some 5 years back and he has stories for days.

 

[MtnHusker]

show me a pro baseball player, past or present, who says they haven't had embarrassing amounts of sex and i'll show you a fucking liar.

Athletes, musicians, actors...... I've known and worked with a bunch of them. The stories are beyond crazy. One of my buddies was personal security for big rock stars, talk about sick shit. Groupies everywhere. I have a great story about the Wu Tang Clan and a groupie who was trying to make them let her on the bus to "Party".

I've worked on Movies. Steven Segal got served Divorce Papers in Denver from Kelly Lebrock during a movie I was doing Security work on for him. Huge crowds had gathered to watch the filming that we had to control. He sent Security people out into the crowd to recruit hot women to party with him in his set trailer. Lots of quality tail was sent his way. Steven was cool to work for. Really a chill guy and easy to talk to. And he is truly a Martial Arts Badass.

A buddy of mine was a swimmer in the Olympics in Greece. He said it was a fucking orgy over there during the games. He banged all kinds of Olympians from all over the world plus random fans. Wearing the Olympic garb in public was a guarantee that hot women would be on you in minutes. Surprised he had the energy to compete.

I talked to George Karl about the NBA players and the girls that chased them. Lots of crazy stories there. He said the most epic Groupie scene he ever saw was with the first time an NBA Dream Team played in the Olympics. George just chuckled and said it was so out of control. Nothing he had ever seen came even remotely close to it. I know a few NBA players who basically have at least a couple side pieces in every city they play away games in.

 

[lee_carvallo_12]

Athletes, musicians, actors...... I've known and worked with a bunch of them. The stories are beyond crazy. One of my buddies was personal security for big rock stars, talk about sick shit. Groupies everywhere. I have a great story about the Wu Tang Clan and a groupie who was trying to make them let her on the bus to "Party".

I've worked on Movies. Steven Segal got served Divorce Papers in Denver from Kelly Lebrock during a movie I was doing Security work on for him. Huge crowds had gathered to watch the filming that we had to control. He sent Security people out into the crowd to recruit hot women to party with him in his set trailer. Lots of quality tail was sent his way. Steven was cool to work for. Really a chill guy and easy to talk to. And he is truly a Martial Arts Badass.

A buddy of mine was a swimmer in the Olympics in Greece. He said it was a fucking orgy over there during the games. He banged all kinds of Olympians from all over the world plus random fans. Wearing the Olympic garb in public was a guarantee that hot women would be on you in minutes. Surprised he had the energy to compete.

I talked to George Karl about the NBA players and the girls that chased them. Lots of crazy stories there. He said the most epic Groupie scene he ever saw was with the first time an NBA Dream Team played in the Olympics. George just chuckled and said it was so out of control. Nothing he had ever seen came even remotely close to it. I know a few NBA players who basically have at least a couple side pieces in every city they play away games in.

And here I sit, 5’10”, slow, can’t jump or throw, or sing or play an instrument. Fuck.

 

[Jim14510]

And here I sit, 5’10”, slow, can’t jump or throw, or sing or play an instrument. Fuck.

No pussy in golf?

 

[dsbigred1]

And here I sit, 5’10”, slow, can’t jump or throw, or sing or play an instrument. Fuck.

But at least you have what seems to be a very eager tongue..

 

[lee_carvallo_12]

No pussy in golf?

Not until you get to a pretty high level, like Korn Ferry.

But at least you have what seems to be a very eager tongue..

For a period of time I was into eating out and titty effing and I can’t explain why. Got a big kick out of both.

 

[HuskerGarrett]

And here I sit, 5’10”, slow, can’t jump or throw, or sing or play an instrument. Fuck.

You have to show the bitches your golf swing

 

[betsch]

Not until you get to a pretty high level, like Korn Ferry.

For a period of time I was into eating out and titty effing and I can’t explain why. Got a big kick out of both.

Never underestimate a good tittyfuck!!!

 

[Woodrow F Call]

Not until you get to a pretty high level, like Korn Ferry.

For a period of time I was into eating out and titty effing and I can’t explain why. Got a big kick out oStewart's?

Eating pussy/extensive foreplay is the game to be in. Women love that shit.




Or maybe that's just Me going the extra mile to make up for the average/less than average white cock, IDK

 

[BIG TONE SOPRANO]

You win.

He does

 

[RedSeaRising]

Ah Shit I can probably throw quite a few unusual ones out there. I've had a crazy stupid life. I really need to start writing this stuff down. Here are a few:
-Worked Security for Steven Segal
-A drunken Tommy Lasorda tried taking a swing at me
-Was in a Movie with Patrick Swayze
-Tone Loc's Band members had to help me out in a fight when I was pinned to the front of the band stage in a fight with 3 Yuge Samoans
-Pissed off Brittany Spears enough that she mentioned it in People Magazine
-Made fun of Ian Ziering so much that he came back the next night and wanted to be friends
-Sat at a picnic table with President Ford
-Have Drank with 6 NFL QB's who were in a Super Bowl (John Elway, Dan Marino, Jim Kelly, Buddy Brister, Jim Miller, Brian Griese)
-Trained Joey "The Clown" Lombardo's grandson for a job. (Joey might be the most famous Mafia hitman in Chicago history)
-my Chicago cop buddies took me and a lady friend I met at a bar in their Cop Car at 90+ mph down Michigan Avenue at 3am, with the lights on
-Outran about 30 Machine Gun toting Mexican Federalies in Mazatlan
-had a Machine Gun put to my head in Burma/Myanmar
-Cursed out Bob Marley's band The Wailers for leaving a stage early. About the only time I ever came unglued on a band
-Got into a fight with the Austrian Ski Team
-Almost was involved in a brawl with a women's professional football team at the Strip Joint Shotgun Willies in Denver. The starting Safety was mad I was getting more attention than her from the Strippers. Later she actually bought me a Lap Dance. That Lesbian rocked a better Mustache than me.
-watched a football game with Tom Osborne
-Lived on a Sail Boat for 3 weeks in the Bahamas
-slept with a Playboy Playmate and also another woman who was in Playboy for the Girls of Radio issue
-attended a few Jerry Springer Shows, actually was in some of the crowd shots
-have had beers with Eddie Vedder numerous times
-carried Olympic Gold Medalist Johhny Mosely out the back door of my bar at a Ski Race Party because he was so drunk he couldn't walk and would have gotten in trouble if his sponsors saw him so wasted. Was cursed out the next day by the Race Officials because he was too hung over to race.
-Almost threw Trey Stone (South Park) out of my bar. Turns out he wasn't being an asshole, was just wasted
-Almost threw Daryl Hannah out of my bar, she was out of her mind on drugs but had a security guy with her so let her stay as long as she stayed awake
-have bartended in 5 countries (USA, Costa Rica, Mexico, Thailand, Bahamas)
-Stayed at the Rockefellers house in Aspen.
-Walked up on one of the twin girls from the movie The Great Outdoors while she was get fucked on my Picnic Table


@vailhusker gotta have some serious stories too.

An impressive list. I'd like to have a beer with you.

As pale in comparison as my life has been relative to yours, I too have a watched a football game with Tom Osborn, back in the day when he still had a box at memorial stadium. Cool experience.

 

[Ext. 55]

He does

That list is full on legit. Even if half is BS…legit.

 

[HuskerGarrett]

An impressive list. I'd like to have a beer with you.

As pale in comparison as my life has been relative to yours, I too have a watched a football game with Tom Osborn, back in the day when he still had a box at memorial stadium. Cool experience.

Did you guys blaze up in the box