Humble Brag / One-Up Thread

[Alum-Ni]

I'm currently 6th all-time in the World in powerlifting at 198 for ages 40+. Good opportunity to break the all-time mark within the next year. All time, I'm in the top 0.007% of every powerlifter in the world.

I have 6 national records for 35-39 year old and 40-49 year old divisions.

Gym bests
Squat - 675 w/ wraps and 635 with sleeves -- for those who don't know wraps add 5-10% on squat.
Bench - 460
Deadlift - 675

Meet bests
Squat - 628.3 lbs w/ sleeves and 655.8 lbs w/ sleeves
Bench - 446.4 lbs
Deadlift - 672.4 lbs

Welp, since this is a one-up thread....

Same as everything above +1

 

[iruletheskool]

What did you say to get that response?

His kid was running around at the terminal near me and the wife. I just nodded, but here I am with two now.

 

[lee_carvallo_12]

• Won the Wyoming Junior at 14y/o
• 3x all-state Wyo HS Golf, never won (major downer)
• All-Region at UNK, 9th in all-time season scoring average, 2nd lowest all-time 54 hole score 209, 4th career rounds played
• Qualified for 2012 US Mid-Am at Conway Farms and Knollwood Club
• Qualified for the 2019 Texas Amateur at Dallas Athletic Club
• Have spent quite a bit of time with entitled, asshole, pro golfers from the PGA and Champions Tours.
• Ate out 3 different girls on a Neb football weekend Thurs-Sat

 

[HuskerGarrett]

• Won the Wyoming Junior at 14y/o
• 3x all-state Wyo HS Golf, never won (major downer)
• All-Region at UNK, 9th in all-time season scoring average, 2nd all-time 54 hole score 209, 4th career rounds played
• Qualified for 2012 US Mid-Am at Conway Farms and Knollwood Club
• Qualified for the 2019 Texas Amateur at Dallas Athletic Club
• Have spent quite a bit of time with entitled, asshole, pro golfers from the PGA and Champions Tours.
• Ate out 3 different girls on a Neb football weekend Thurs-Sat

That last one is most impressive of all tbh

 

[DuckSker]

May want to look at the first sentence of your original post 😂😂

Janice Griffith is her porn name. Samantha Schimmel is her real name

 

[DuckSker]

Damn i’m lame. Also only 25 so there’s still hope i can do half the shit you fuckers have

 

[lee_carvallo_12]

That last one is most impressive of all tbh

True story on the 2nd eatee(sp?) - Her and I went back to my buddy's house where I was staying, as was @B1G_10_Tony. I start going to town on this gal on the couch and she stops me and says, "you better go get a towel." Of course I'm intrigued by the statement, so I get a towel out of the bathroom and put it underneath her butt. She goes all Niagara Falls in my face. Tone rolls in about 5 or 6am, picks up the soaked towel from the end of the couch and says, "who showered already?"

 

[Woodrow F Call]

Damn i’m lame. Also only 25 so there’s still hope i can do half the shit you fuckers have

 

[slattimer]

I'm sure dudes like @lee_carvallo_12 have at least one, but I do have one hole-in-one to my name.

Also drove a green to 2 feet from 315 drunk as piss in a scramble.

 

[lee_carvallo_12]

I'm sure dudes like @lee_carvallo_12 have at least one, but I do have one hole-in-one to my name.

Also drove a green to 2 feet from 315 drunk as piss in a scramble.

I have 2 - Friend CC #4. Wedding party golf day before the nuptials. Went from pretty drunk to REALLY drunk in a hurry. Then #3 at Cedar Crest GC here in Dallas. Flew it right in the hole, slam dunk style. It was about 45deg with the wind blowing 20mph. Both shots with 9irons.

 

[Cookiemonster]

Was telling the wife if I had to do it all over again, would've tried to get into a service academy out of HS. All the people I know who went that route, including my SIL, are getting ready to retire in 6-8 years at 50y/o with pension, benefits, etc.

I pulled a quick tag team, dp video of your girl, for research purposes only. Everyone seemed to been having a nice time.

Sam legit is down for anything in bed. She begs for it and pleads for cum. The only difference is the porn angles and positions don’t really work for great sex. I was trying to see if I could find my old phone. I had some vids of us. Not sure my ol lady would approve of me still having that. Not sure I even do.

 

[RedSavage]

One of my better ones is I had a threesome with my ex and her smoking hot friend. They called me one night when I was omw home from the bar and caught me by surprise asking if they could come over right then to have a threesome. Of course I said yes. Hadn't ever met the friend before and both her and my ex were naked in my room within 5 mins of coming over. Current GF is also looking for another female to join in the fun so hopefully can make round 2 happen one of these days.

 

[BIG TONE SOPRANO]

• Won the Wyoming Junior at 14y/o
• 3x all-state Wyo HS Golf, never won (major downer)
• All-Region at UNK, 9th in all-time season scoring average, 2nd lowest all-time 54 hole score 209, 4th career rounds played
• Qualified for 2012 US Mid-Am at Conway Farms and Knollwood Club
• Qualified for the 2019 Texas Amateur at Dallas Athletic Club
• Have spent quite a bit of time with entitled, asshole, pro golfers from the PGA and Champions Tours.
• Ate out 3 different girls on a Neb football weekend Thurs-Sat

You hit a pretty ball

 

[Baron Winnebago]

One of my better ones is I had a threesome with my ex and her smoking hot friend. They called me one night when I was omw home from the bar and caught me by surprise asking if they could come over right then to have a threesome. Of course I said yes. Hadn't ever met the friend before and both her and my ex were naked in my room within 5 mins of coming over. Current GF is also looking for another female to join in the fun so hopefully can make round 2 happen one of these days.

Oh yeah? Well I beat my dick like it owes me money

 

[Jim14510]

Ate out 3 different girls on a Neb football weekend Thurs-Sat

That one is very impressive.

Fucking Gary beating me to the joke.

 

[Havoc34]

Fucked one of my teachers while I was in highschool. She was married to another teacher. I think he found out years later. She was hot as hell.

I’ve summited 20 14k ft mountains. No guides. Toughest was the grand Teton. Another climber was about a half hour behind us from when we summited fell off and died. Dropped 6k feet from a sheer cliff face.

As a forward observer in the marine corps I called in over 100 fire missions on a single deployment in 09. One of my commanders told me once it was at least a few million dollars in ordinance. That wasn’t counting all of the JDAMs from fixed wing and Hellfires from helicopters. Shit was wild.

 

[BIG TONE SOPRANO]

True story on the 2nd eatee(sp?) - Her and I went back to my buddy's house where I was staying, as was @B1G_10_Tony. I start going to town on this gal on the couch and she stops me and says, "you better go get a towel." Of course I'm intrigued by the statement, so I get a towel out of the bathroom and put it underneath her butt. She goes all Niagara Falls in my face. Tone rolls in about 5 or 6am, picks up the soaked towel from the end of the couch and says, "who showered already?"

Ol Puddle Pants!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

 

[kenyanfeline]

True story on the 2nd eatee(sp?) - Her and I went back to my buddy's house where I was staying, as was @B1G_10_Tony. I start going to town on this gal on the couch and she stops me and says, "you better go get a towel." Of course I'm intrigued by the statement, so I get a towel out of the bathroom and put it underneath her butt. She goes all Niagara Falls in my face. Tone rolls in about 5 or 6am, picks up the soaked towel from the end of the couch and says, "who showered already?"

I was plowing a random girl in college once and she also told me to get a towel so I did. Ends up making such a mess that I had to throw out the mattress. The towel did absolutely nothing. It would have been like someone on the Titanic using a gallon bucket to try to prevent it from sinking.

 

[Havoc34]

I was plowing a random girl in college once and she also told me to get a towel so I did. Ends up making such a mess that I had to throw out the mattress. The towel did absolutely nothing. It would have been like someone on the Titanic using a gallon bucket to try to prevent it from sinking.

Reminds me I had a girl throw up on my dick once. She was married too haha

 

[dsbigred1]

Reminds me I had a girl throw up on my dick once. She was married too haha

Did she clean it up?
Reminds me of puking in a girl’s shoe once while she was blowing me right next to my buddies while they were playing video games and her friend was degrading her for being “such an unbelievable slut”