Nastiest chick you've ever banged...?

[CornFed Gregger]

I was usually ashamed the next day. Everything was good that night. On a side note I had a couple buddies who would tag team whores all the time.

A buddy had a couple Germans on his team that solely looked for chicks they could tag team, piss on, & more. Always the fugliest chicks & gladly start going to work even if other ppl were present. Americans sharing an Eiffel Tower, not so bad

 

[lee_carvallo_12]

@HuskerGarrett
Alright fine, here it is.

This was way back in the college days, me and a buddy meet up with some girl he's been talking to. We go out drinking, I'm third-wheeling it, on the prowl all night but end up striking out so we get hammered and stumble back to her place. We get there and continue drinking, at this point I've come to terms with sleeping on the couch while my friend gets some ass.

I'm sitting on the couch and her roommate walks through the door(solid 200lbs, 2/10 face, overall 1/10). She sits down, starts drinking with me, out of nowhere my friend's girl comes out of the bedroom and asks if I want to join them for a threesome. At this point, I'm so hammered I can barely see straight so of course, I agree.

Long story short, my friend wasn't up for it. I guess he was really into her so whatever. I decide to call it a night, I almost had a threesome with another dude for fucks sake.

Well here comes big Sheila and she's wanting some dick. In my head I'm thinking pussy's pussy, why not. None of the boys have to know about it. We go to her room, we try to foreplay a bit but her face was like kissing a basketball, I could barely get hard. It's pitch black, can't see shit. I start doing my thing, doggy style for about 5 min. I notice she's not moaning or anything so I think to myself, whatever she must just be a fish fuck.

By this time, my eyes are starting to adjust. I look down and my weiner is a straight limp noodle. I've been nailing her with my soft meat. Basically just fucking one of her rolls, maybe her ass crack idk.

I told her I had to puke, but instead of just going to puke I put all of my clothes on, she's asks if I'm going to puke why am I putting my clothes on? I don't even respond to her. I was so ashamed of myself that I walked 9 miles home at 4am. The way she goes...

when i was in 8th/9th grade back a thousand years ago, this WT gal named tina (full name was betina, but of course we called her buttina) came to class one day and started showing her gf's her belly button. it was all bruised and chaffed. story starts going around that this WT kid named jesse was trying to have sex with her over the weekend, neither of them had ever done it before, so he just fucked her belly button until he popped. thought he was in her pussy the whole time, apparently. young love.

 

[Pipe Line]

when i was in 8th/9th grade back a thousand years ago, this WT gal named tina (full name was betina, but off course we called her buttina) came to class one day and started showing her gf's her belly button. it was all bruised at chaffed. story starts going around that this WT kid named jesse was trying to have sex with her over the weekend, neither of them had ever done it before, so he just fucked her belly button until he popped. thought he was in her pussy the whole time, apparently. young love.

This wins. Fuckin her belly button. You win Lee. Great job

 

[SyfromSD]

Thread fucking delivers. Well done @Dble E

Agreed. I got to use the sad boner for Dru's story even.

And a few from back in the day come to mind. Drew the short straw one hammered night and bagged a large marge on a houseboat back in HS. I found out the next day her nickname from school was "weenie woman" from an incident involving a hot dog. Thank God I haven't ran into her since.

My first was a black chick in the grade behind us who at the time (early 80s) was nicknamed "black betty" and was overweight, but I will admit..I was stone sober, young and it was amazing, went back several times for seconds. Only told a couple close friends about it at the time. Years later after college I ran into her and she had slimmed down and looked sexy as hell, and had an even better bad ass attitude & style to go with it. We talked for a while at a bar one night and she had a hard life, but was doing great. Didn't get the boomerang, as I was dating my wife at the time (would've for sure had I been single). She passed away a few years ago, and I am still sad as I think about it. Way too young.

 

[LoudHogRider]

Agreed. I got to use the sad boner for Dru's story even.

And a few from back in the day come to mind. Drew the short straw one hammered night and bagged a large marge on a houseboat back in HS. I found out the next day her nickname from school was "weenie woman" from an incident involving a hot dog. Thank God I haven't ran into her since.

My first was a black chick in the grade behind us who at the time (early 80s) was nicknamed "black betty" and was overweight, but I will admit..I was stone sober, young and it was amazing, went back several times for seconds. Only told a couple close friends about it at the time. Years later after college I ran into her and she had slimmed down and looked sexy as hell, and had an even better bad ass attitude & style to go with it. We talked for a while at a bar one night and she had a hard life, but was doing great. Didn't get the boomerang, as I was dating my wife at the time (would've for sure had I been single). She passed away a few years ago, and I am still sad as I think about it. Way too young.

Damn shame about "betty" passing on so soon. The world needs more free spirits in it.

Also, every time I see your auto-signature gif, I damn near have an epileptic fit. Since Nebraska it appears NEVER going to legalize medical marijuana, I may have to figure out how to turn off signatures.

 

[dsbigred1]

Had a buddy living with me for about a year after he graduated. We used to go out all the time. He worked weekends at a bar downtown sometimes. He was pretty notorious for picking up some whales, and was shameless about it.
One night our good buddy was on leave and back in town so we all went out. Buddy on leave is striking out left and right (which was very unusual for him), and me and the guy that lived with me met some girlfriends. One was a 6-7, and had a nice body. Thankfully, she was coming back with me, but her friend was pushing 250, sweaty as fuck, and her clothes somehow seemed to get all stretched out throughout the night and were loose as heck on her plump body.. even her jeans.
We are all going back to my place, and my navy buddy is driving. Roomie tries to get in the passenger seat and my buddy tells him to get in the back and for his hefty gal pal to ride shotgun. We get about a mile down the road, and I am paying zero attention to what is going on while I am talking to my girl in the back, when all of the sudden I hear, “What the fuck, dude! She’s supposed to suck MY dick!”
Navy buddy is just laughing as the big girl is bent over the console with her head bobbing. She looks up and says, “I’ll suck your dick, too.” In the most matter of fact way.
They both had some fun that night, but my roomie was a very awkward 5th wheel in that car ride while the two of us were getting blown.

 

[Cash68847]

Had a buddy living with me for about a year after he graduated. We used to go out all the time. He worked weekends at a bar downtown sometimes. He was pretty notorious for picking up some whales, and was shameless about it.
One night our good buddy was on leave and back in town so we all went out. Buddy on leave is striking out left and right (which was very unusual for him), and me and the guy that lived with me met some girlfriends. One was a 6-7, and had a nice body. Thankfully, she was coming back with me, but her friend was pushing 250, sweaty as fuck, and her clothes somehow seemed to get all stretched out throughout the night and were loose as heck on her plump body.. even her jeans.
We are all going back to my place, and my navy buddy is driving. Roomie tries to get in the passenger seat and my buddy tells him to get in the back and for his hefty gal pal to ride shotgun. We get about a mile down the road, and I am paying zero attention to what is going on while I am talking to my girl in the back, when all of the sudden I hear, “What the fuck, dude! She’s supposed to suck MY dick!”
Navy buddy is just laughing as the big girl is bent over the console with her head bobbing. She looks up and says, “I’ll suck your dick, too.” In the most matter of fact way.
They both had some fun that night, but my roomie was a very awkward 5th wheel in that car ride while the two of us were getting blown.

My friend and roommate was very similar to your friend back in the day. One night he loaded up this huge bitch and he left his keys in her car he thought. My sisters friend was going with him to hunt the keys down. I said I know where you can find her in front of multiple people at our place. My buddy said where? I said in front of the fucking buffet line. He wasn’t too happy.

 

[Faux Sean Callahan]

Interesting thread

 

[Ripping Lips]

I'll share a few of my not-so-great conquests when I lived in San Diego. Back in my 20's (late 90s) I use to frequent this country bar called In Cahoots. On a sultry Saturday night, I was drinking crown and talking to this "ok" girl who had a big friend. Come to find out the ok girl was actually engaged to a guy I knew from one of my Navy schools, but yet she was still flirting with me pretty hard. Well, her big friend started to buy me shots of tequila and then started to rub on me at the bar. As the night went on, I tried to fuck the big girl her in friend's minivan, but her friend wasn't having it. So, I had the fat girl's friend drive us back to her house and we ended up fucking all night. At one point, this girl was riding me and started to have this crazy as orgasm and her fat rolls started to jiggle like a bowl of Jello. I woke up the next morning and tried calling my buddy to come pick me up, but I didn't have a clue where I was, and he was running late for duty anyway. So, the big girl offered to give me a ride back to base, but I had to go down on her and fuck her one more time. Luckily, she showered first and wasn't smelling like a barn stall. Once I got back to the boat and started to change and go shower, my buddies were bustin my balls since this fat girl let scratch marks all over my chest and back.

Another time, I hooked up with this older heavy-set girl, but she had a pretty face at this dive bar. I've seen her at this bar a few times before but never talked to her until this night. I was outside smoking and she just down beside me and she just started to stare me down and gave me the look that she was DTF. I don't think that I said anything to her for like 10 minutes and I was like, do you want to head to my apartment and have a drink? She said sure and went back in for a second to tell her friends and we walked back to my apartment and started making out once we got inside. After a few minutes, she started giving head, but was not very good at it and started to teeth me pretty bad. She insisted that she would rather give me a blow job since she was on the rag. Well, after 10 minutes of trying to suck me off, my roommate came home with some of her friends. So I went out to the living room and started talking to her friends and this girl was getting mad at me and pulls me back into the bedroom. I told her that I'm done with her and that I was going to fuck one of her friends instead. Well, she quickly changed her tune, dropped her pants, and let me fuck in her ass instead that night. Afterwards, there was blood and shit stains over comforter that I had to throw it away the next day.

Those are probably two of my nastiest girl stories. I have a few other crazy conquests I'll share another day.

 

[kenyanfeline]

When I was in college, I was really into this girl in my friend group (girl #1) for like 3 years but it never seemed to materialize. She was actually hot as hell. One weekend her sister (girl #2), who was not quite as good looking but not terrible visited from another college and I hooked up with her, which caused some drama that eventually blew over. A while later I got hammered and hooked up with her roommate (girl #3) who was probably around a 5/10 if I’m being honest, and then proceeded to hook up with her a few more times. Then when I was a junior I finally hooked up with girl #1.

But as far as the topic of this thread goes, the real story lies with girl #4, who was girl #3’s sister. My friends all told me that I had to hook up her because it would be pretty epic to bang two roommates and both of their sisters. The problem was girl #4 was a generous 2/10. It was bad. Big, fat, poor complexion, practically a mullet. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. So I did.

 

[Drue629]

So glad this thread is making a cumback

 

[HuskerGarrett]

My next, covid has been rough. Slump needs busting. 😬

Update?

 

[SoCal_Corn]

When I was in college, I was really into this girl in my friend group (girl #1) for like 3 years but it never seemed to materialize. She was actually hot as hell. One weekend her sister (girl #2), who was not quite as good looking but not terrible visited from another college and I hooked up with her, which caused some drama that eventually blew over. A while later I got hammered and hooked up with her roommate (girl #3) who was probably around a 5/10 if I’m being honest, and then proceeded to hook up with her a few more times. Then when I was a junior I finally hooked up with girl #1.

But as far as the topic of this thread goes, the real story lies with girl #4, who was girl #3’s sister. My friends all told me that I had to hook up her because it would be pretty epic to bang two roommates and both of their sisters. The problem was girl #4 was a generous 2/10. It was bad. Big, fat, poor complexion, practically a mullet. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. So I did.

Gave this the 5 Likes version

One for each chick and then the 5th for 'all of the above'

😎

 

[Cookiemonster]

When I was 22 and fresh off my first engagement ending, me and a buddy went to the bars. We invited basically everyone over to my house because fuck it why not.

I had drank so much that day that when I got to my house I went to lay down a bit, I got naked and puked All over myself and my bed and fell asleep.


About 20-30 mins later some 4/10 skinny but huge tittied chick woke me up and asked if she can cuddle because she was drunk. I said sure. Well next thing I know she is blowing my puke covered self. I ended up plowing her for what felt like hours and forgot to pull out. She squirted so damn much I had to throw my sheets away because I couldn’t get the stink out. Luckily she was gone the next day. Only ever saw her once years later and i just imagine her sucking my puke covered dick.

 

[Baron Winnebago]

When I was 22 and fresh off my first engagement ending, me and a buddy went to the bars. We invited basically everyone over to my house because fuck it why not.

I had drank so much that day that when I got to my house I went to lay down a bit, I got naked and puked All over myself and my bed and fell asleep.


About 20-30 mins later some 4/10 skinny but huge tittied chick woke me up and asked if she can cuddle because she was drunk. I said sure. Well next thing I know she is blowing my puke covered self. I ended up plowing her for what felt like hours and forgot to pull out. She squirted so damn much I had to throw my sheets away because I couldn’t get the stink out. Luckily she was gone the next day. Only ever saw her once years later and i just imagine her sucking my puke covered dick.

That's nastay

 

[Drue629]

When I was 22 and fresh off my first engagement ending, me and a buddy went to the bars. We invited basically everyone over to my house because fuck it why not.

I had drank so much that day that when I got to my house I went to lay down a bit, I got naked and puked All over myself and my bed and fell asleep.


About 20-30 mins later some 4/10 skinny but huge tittied chick woke me up and asked if she can cuddle because she was drunk. I said sure. Well next thing I know she is blowing my puke covered self. I ended up plowing her for what felt like hours and forgot to pull out. She squirted so damn much I had to throw my sheets away because I couldn’t get the stink out. Luckily she was gone the next day. Only ever saw her once years later and i just imagine her sucking my puke covered dick.

 

[Jim14510]

When I was 22 and fresh off my first engagement ending, me and a buddy went to the bars. We invited basically everyone over to my house because fuck it why not.

I had drank so much that day that when I got to my house I went to lay down a bit, I got naked and puked All over myself and my bed and fell asleep.


About 20-30 mins later some 4/10 skinny but huge tittied chick woke me up and asked if she can cuddle because she was drunk. I said sure. Well next thing I know she is blowing my puke covered self. I ended up plowing her for what felt like hours and forgot to pull out. She squirted so damn much I had to throw my sheets away because I couldn’t get the stink out. Luckily she was gone the next day. Only ever saw her once years later and i just imagine her sucking my puke covered dick.

 

[Steveweiser316]

When I was in college, I was really into this girl in my friend group (girl #1) for like 3 years but it never seemed to materialize. She was actually hot as hell. One weekend her sister (girl #2), who was not quite as good looking but not terrible visited from another college and I hooked up with her, which caused some drama that eventually blew over. A while later I got hammered and hooked up with her roommate (girl #3) who was probably around a 5/10 if I’m being honest, and then proceeded to hook up with her a few more times. Then when I was a junior I finally hooked up with girl #1.

But as far as the topic of this thread goes, the real story lies with girl #4, who was girl #3’s sister. My friends all told me that I had to hook up her because it would be pretty epic to bang two roommates and both of their sisters. The problem was girl #4 was a generous 2/10. It was bad. Big, fat, poor complexion, practically a mullet. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. So I did.

I see where @waterboy gets it from

 

[Black5hirt]

Update?

Slump has been busted a few times. Both just average, although I think I’m pretty picky so probably pretty decent. Just bar hookup’s. It’s time to scratch the itch again.

 

[The Bearded One]

I was at a 2 day Calcutta golf tournament in Norton, KS this past Labor Day weekend. There was a bisexual girl, shorter hair than mine, with a smoking hot ass but only a 5 on the looks and titties. We ended up playing some pool between my golf team and the prowess of gals in her group. Needless to say we hit it off in the middle pocket, in a neighborhood yard a few blocks away as she was walking me back to our motel. Heard she got fired the next Monday from that bar, because she was caught getting fingered by me on camera at the pool table!