Nastiest chick you've ever banged...?

[Pipe Line]

I don't know if it's a good story or not but I'll roll with it. Went to the strip club for my 22nd birthday with a few friends after the bar. Back in the day one of my buddies used to slam this fat chick whose probably between 4-500 lbs, and really doesn't care how big she is. She ended up showing up there with a few of her friends, can't remember if by coincidence or not. Well, my buddy had told us the stories many times of the times they had hooked up and we've given him plenty of shit for it too. She sat down and we all talked to her and for some reason I didn't put 2 and 2 together initially but it finally clicked in my head who she was as the whale of a woman who my buddy used to hook up with. So drunk me asks her all these questions in front of the whole group about what went down between them and all that stuff. She then plays along and actually grabs my finger and starts sucking on it. Super cool at the time because I'm hammered and all for it. This continues until the strip club closes and everyone goes home, just flirting and messing around. Didn't get laid or anything. Don't think I would have anyway in hoping I would have come to my senses before it happening. Can't overstate how big she is, like could have her own TV show on TLC huge. Haven't seen her since.

 

[dsbigred1]

Did you have your wedding?

Sure did! Heading back home today from St. Lucia.

 

[sexmonster]

Jumped on a grenade or two...but really the one I'm thinking of wasn't even a grenade I was just wasted and did it.

Dropped her off while stopping at the gas station. Glad I don't have pics.

Got a couple blowjobs in a bar parking lot in Kentucky from a chick who looked like she was in the Make A Wish Foundation

 

[Bootleg11]

Somewhere there’s a message board full of women talking about their nastiest guy...that’s where Bootleg11 gets his mentions

 

[lee_carvallo_12]

my #1 all-time worst was on a work trip back 8-10 years ago. I was with a good work buddy and we both got totally nuked. the yearly conference we were at used to always rented a suite at the host hotel for the sole purpose of after hours drinking. there were these two middle aged ladies that worked together, one of which was actually pretty hot, the other looked like she was a troll from a children's book. anyway, i thought i would do my buddy a favor by jumping on the grenade and banging the troll. we went back to my room where a 3rd friend was staying and threw down. it was awful. she had spanks on under her pants and everything. she had to go 225-250. the worst part is i still run into her about every year at a network meeting or conference...

 

[Dble E]

I got tricked into it one time...

This one heavy set gal kept coming around an apartment I had with buddies. She had a pretty face but was over 2 bills.....every time she came over with her friends she'd bring me Arby's or beer or both. This went on for about 2-3 months...everyone at the party told me I owed her BIG time....so I did....

Worst part was I busted my nuts in about 3 minutes....which was kind of embarrassing. I was usually good for 15-20 when I was drunk....ha.

 

[Jim14510]

Sure did! Heading back home today from St. Lucia.

Did you dump that first load all over her face?

 

[dsbigred1]

Did you dump that first load all over her face?

No, but I had to sleep in the chair at the hotel after soaking the sheets...

 

[HuskerGarrett]

@Drue629 has a good story to tell

 

[HuskerPAC]

Where’s that toe guy.

 

[thE kErnEl]

I got nuthin', sorry. A couple of thicks, but nothing bad nasty.

 

[HuskerGarrett]

Where’s that toe guy.

@Toe

 

[Toe]

No comment.

 

[Eaton Beaver]

I don't know if it's a good story or not but I'll roll with it. Went to the strip club for my 22nd birthday with a few friends after the bar. Back in the day one of my buddies used to slam this fat chick whose probably between 4-500 lbs, and really doesn't care how big she is. She ended up showing up there with a few of her friends, can't remember if by coincidence or not. Well, my buddy had told us the stories many times of the times they had hooked up and we've given him plenty of shit for it too. She sat down and we all talked to her and for some reason I didn't put 2 and 2 together initially but it finally clicked in my head who she was as the whale of a woman who my buddy used to hook up with. So drunk me asks her all these questions in front of the whole group about what went down between them and all that stuff. She then plays along and actually grabs my finger and starts sucking on it. Super cool at the time because I'm hammered and all for it. This continues until the strip club closes and everyone goes home, just flirting and messing around. Didn't get laid or anything. Don't think I would have anyway in hoping I would have come to my senses before it happening. Can't overstate how big she is, like could have her own TV show on TLC huge. Haven't seen her since.

Good thing you went home with your friends cause I think she was going to rape you!

 

[Pipe Line]

Good thing you went home with your friends cause I think she was going to rape you!

I would have been real ashamed of my actions the next day I know that for sure

 

[Drue629]

@HuskerGarrett
Alright fine, here it is.

This was way back in the college days, me and a buddy meet up with some girl he's been talking to. We go out drinking, I'm third-wheeling it, on the prowl all night but end up striking out so we get hammered and stumble back to her place. We get there and continue drinking, at this point I've come to terms with sleeping on the couch while my friend gets some ass.

I'm sitting on the couch and her roommate walks through the door(solid 200lbs, 2/10 face, overall 1/10). She sits down, starts drinking with me, out of nowhere my friend's girl comes out of the bedroom and asks if I want to join them for a threesome. At this point, I'm so hammered I can barely see straight so of course, I agree.

Long story short, my friend wasn't up for it. I guess he was really into her so whatever. I decide to call it a night, I almost had a threesome with another dude for fucks sake.

Well here comes big Sheila and she's wanting some dick. In my head I'm thinking pussy's pussy, why not. None of the boys have to know about it. We go to her room, we try to foreplay a bit but her face was like kissing a basketball, I could barely get hard. It's pitch black, can't see shit. I start doing my thing, doggy style for about 5 min. I notice she's not moaning or anything so I think to myself, whatever she must just be a fish fuck.

By this time, my eyes are starting to adjust. I look down and my weiner is a straight limp noodle. I've been nailing her with my soft meat. Basically just fucking one of her rolls, maybe her ass crack idk.

I told her I had to puke, but instead of just going to puke I put all of my clothes on, she's asks if I'm going to puke why am I putting my clothes on? I don't even respond to her. I was so ashamed of myself that I walked 9 miles home at 4am. The way she goes...

 

[Jim14510]

Thread fucking delivers. Well done @Dble E

 

[Cash68847]

@HuskerGarrett
Alright fine, here it is.

This was way back in the college days, me and a buddy meet up with some girl he's been talking to. We go out drinking, I'm third-wheeling it, on the prowl all night but end up striking out so we get hammered and stumble back to her place. We get there and continue drinking, at this point I've come to terms with sleeping on the couch while my friend gets some ass.

I'm sitting on the couch and her roommate walks through the door(solid 200lbs, 2/10 face, overall 1/10). She sits down, starts drinking with me, out of nowhere my friend's girl comes out of the bedroom and asks if I want to join them for a threesome. At this point, I'm so hammered I can barely see straight so of course, I agree.

Long story short, my friend wasn't up for it. I guess he was really into her so whatever. I decide to call it a night, I almost had a threesome with another dude for fucks sake.

Well here comes big Sheila and she's wanting some dick. In my head I'm thinking pussy's pussy, why not. None of the boys have to know about it. We go to her room, we try to foreplay a bit but her face was like kissing a basketball, I could barely get hard. It's pitch black, can't see shit. I start doing my thing, doggy style for about 5 min. I notice she's not moaning or anything so I think to myself, whatever she must just be a fish fuck.

By this time, my eyes are starting to adjust. I look down and my weiner is a straight limp noodle. I've been nailing her with my soft meat. Basically just fucking one of her rolls, maybe her ass crack idk.

I told her I had to puke, but instead of just going to puke I put all of my clothes on, she's asks if I'm going to puke why am I putting my clothes on? I don't even respond to her. I was so ashamed of myself that I walked 9 miles home at 4am. The way she goes...

I was usually ashamed the next day. Everything was good that night. On a side note I had a couple buddies who would tag team whores all the time.

 

[HuskerGarrett]

@HuskerGarrett
Alright fine, here it is.

This was way back in the college days, me and a buddy meet up with some girl he's been talking to. We go out drinking, I'm third-wheeling it, on the prowl all night but end up striking out so we get hammered and stumble back to her place. We get there and continue drinking, at this point I've come to terms with sleeping on the couch while my friend gets some ass.

I'm sitting on the couch and her roommate walks through the door(solid 200lbs, 2/10 face, overall 1/10). She sits down, starts drinking with me, out of nowhere my friend's girl comes out of the bedroom and asks if I want to join them for a threesome. At this point, I'm so hammered I can barely see straight so of course, I agree.

Long story short, my friend wasn't up for it. I guess he was really into her so whatever. I decide to call it a night, I almost had a threesome with another dude for fucks sake.

Well here comes big Sheila and she's wanting some dick. In my head I'm thinking pussy's pussy, why not. None of the boys have to know about it. We go to her room, we try to foreplay a bit but her face was like kissing a basketball, I could barely get hard. It's pitch black, can't see shit. I start doing my thing, doggy style for about 5 min. I notice she's not moaning or anything so I think to myself, whatever she must just be a fish fuck.

By this time, my eyes are starting to adjust. I look down and my weiner is a straight limp noodle. I've been nailing her with my soft meat. Basically just fucking one of her rolls, maybe her ass crack idk.

I told her I had to puke, but instead of just going to puke I put all of my clothes on, she's asks if I'm going to puke why am I putting my clothes on? I don't even respond to her. I was so ashamed of myself that I walked 9 miles home at 4am. The way she goes...

The wait was worth it

 

[Pipe Line]

@HuskerGarrett
Alright fine, here it is.

This was way back in the college days, me and a buddy meet up with some girl he's been talking to. We go out drinking, I'm third-wheeling it, on the prowl all night but end up striking out so we get hammered and stumble back to her place. We get there and continue drinking, at this point I've come to terms with sleeping on the couch while my friend gets some ass.

I'm sitting on the couch and her roommate walks through the door(solid 200lbs, 2/10 face, overall 1/10). She sits down, starts drinking with me, out of nowhere my friend's girl comes out of the bedroom and asks if I want to join them for a threesome. At this point, I'm so hammered I can barely see straight so of course, I agree.

Long story short, my friend wasn't up for it. I guess he was really into her so whatever. I decide to call it a night, I almost had a threesome with another dude for fucks sake.

Well here comes big Sheila and she's wanting some dick. In my head I'm thinking pussy's pussy, why not. None of the boys have to know about it. We go to her room, we try to foreplay a bit but her face was like kissing a basketball, I could barely get hard. It's pitch black, can't see shit. I start doing my thing, doggy style for about 5 min. I notice she's not moaning or anything so I think to myself, whatever she must just be a fish fuck.

By this time, my eyes are starting to adjust. I look down and my weiner is a straight limp noodle. I've been nailing her with my soft meat. Basically just fucking one of her rolls, maybe her ass crack idk.

I told her I had to puke, but instead of just going to puke I put all of my clothes on, she's asks if I'm going to puke why am I putting my clothes on? I don't even respond to her. I was so ashamed of myself that I walked 9 miles home at 4am. The way she goes...

Your avatar delivers. Incredible