Tell me about the nastiest chick you've fugged....

[Baron Winnebago]

I had sex with a co-worker(Target CB) that was missing a tooth. She was 18 so a little young to be missing teeth already but I was horny so I went ahead and fucked her in the front seat of my mom's car.

Was your mom there?

 

[2010sarenevercomingback]

Was your mom there?

No, she was with me.

 

[ISUforNU]

This thread

 

[Dble E]

No, she was with me.

Shut up grandpa. Ha

 

[Dble E]

Was your mom there?

Yaw. She kept saying "Atta boy"

 

[BIG TONE SOPRANO]

My worst was an older gal I met at a work conference when I was in my 20's. She was probably in her 50's. And listen, she wasn't the kind of sexy cougar 50 y/o. She was some troll looking individual. My buddy was trying to get with her hot sexy 50 y/o friend and I thought I was helping him out. He didn't end up with the good one, but I ended up with the beast. I got in the hotel bed with her to do the deed and I remember her peeling her spanx off 🤮.

Also, I'll speak up for @#HBD because he is too humble to raise his hand on this thread. He ploughed a gal when we were in our 20's and she was in her late 40's/early 50's that looked almost identical to a less attractive version of the actress who played Mimi on the Drew Carey Show.

View attachment 38319

You are sick get help

 

[BIG TONE SOPRANO]

Theres

More Greg:

Every Valentines Day I have to eat my wife's butt hole. We have been doing this for 15 years. When she was younger it was ok. She cleaned herself to make it a little better for me. Now that shes pushing 50 its like she doesn't wipe for days.

About how the ass eating started......

Well, for the first few years of marriage I would muff dive so much I grew collaflower on my ears like the wrestlers do. She loved it. I ain't saying i'm the best at it by any means but I would eat that thing till it was as dry as saw dust. After a few years, she started saying that she couldn't feel nothing anymore. Well, I was working away on a Valentines night and she she was pretty much watching TV like I was working out in the yard not Plowing her field. So, I told her why don't you let Greg eat the sh*t hole. She was weird by it at first but after a few more Natural LIghts I was down there like a poor man trying to get food during the depression. She screamed and kicked for awhile, and just ate it up...while I guess I ate it up.

Long story short ever since then once a year I starve myself up until Valentines day becuause I know I am going to have a feast that night. We agreed after a few years that I could watch the tape on my birthday once a year, cause she knew as she got older how ugly it was getting in her grave yard.


I remember four years ago we were sitting at my wifes parents house eating her moms caserole and she kept smiling at me. It was the afternoon on Valentines day. I looked at her pretty weird and she started rubbing her legs together. Immediately I thought of what I was going to have to do later. We went outside later and threw the frisbe for over a hour and half. At this point she was sweating profusely. Laughing the whole time. I got angry and grabbed her and put her in the car. The whole way home she was farting and it smelled like the caserole she just ate. When we pulled up to our house, she farted and told me she gambled and just lost. I was furious. I begged her to take a shower but she said that wasn't in the contract.

No chance Greg is still alive. And no way that’s a real person

 

[BIG TONE SOPRANO]

In college, for a brief period of time (approx. 3 weeks), I worked at the Home Depot on 27th and Cornhusker. I would often spend the night there in my car, passing out in a drunken stupor, and then wake up for a sink shower and a head to toe coating of Axe body spray at the sketchy gas station across the street.

During this time, a young lady (cannot for the life of me remember her name), also worked at that HD. I want to say she was either in Lawn & Garden or was a cashier, and she smoked Marlboro Lights (100s). As burning heaters with a downtrodden Home Depot cashier was more appealing to me than retrieving carts from the parking lot for $7.70 / hr, I would often join her for smoke breaks.

We would mostly just sit around and shoot the shit, nothing too personal. I knew was about to quit that shitty job, so right before I was going to, I just said fuggit and asked her if she wanted to go to the lockable family restroom and bang one out. She agreed, so we went and did the nasty. Did it on the floor and I also bent her over the changing table. That family restroom smelled like a bucket full of rotten carp that had been cold smoked overnight over a bed of Marlboro cigarette butts.

After that, I found the manager and quit on the spot. Figured they could easily replace my production and that I had achieved everything I set out to in the job. Not my proudest memory but fond (if not foggy) memory to look back on.

P.S.S. - can't remember exactly what she looked like, but she was ugly as shit. She wasn't fat but I've fugged hotter fat chicks, for sure. Her ass had the structural integrity of pudding that hasn't quite set up yet. The main reason I quit that day was so I didn't have to come to grips with my decision to scrape the bottom of the barrel to get off

I like you man

 

[stonesak]

 

[greybeardedchild]