Things your wife does that drives you bonkers

[HuskerPAC]

My wife does not deal with stress well at all. Her problems become my problems bigly.

The other week she was being combative about every little thing and she finally exploded and yelled at me to “get the fuck out” for suggesting that she pick up our son when he was throwing a tantrum. After avoiding her for nearly the rest of the day she told me that she was going to apologize but then decided not to because I never apologize for anything (objectively untrue). I asked what I should have apologized for recently and she said for having the smoke detectors going off when I was cooking and our son was asleep. Like I fucking did that as a joke or something.

Anyway, two minutes later she’s breaking down about how stressed and guilty she’s feeling is about leaving for a work trip and missing four nights with our son in one week.

I said maybe next time she could focus on making sure she enjoys her time with us before leaving instead of being miserable, which didn’t go over well.

Mom guilt is a powerful thing.

 

[djw004]

My wife does not deal with stress well at all. Her problems become my problems bigly.

The other week she was being combative about every little thing and she finally exploded and yelled at me to “get the fuck out” for suggesting that she pick up our son when he was throwing a tantrum. After avoiding her for nearly the rest of the day she told me that she was going to apologize but then decided not to because I never apologize for anything (objectively untrue). I asked what I should have apologized for recently and she said for having the smoke detectors going off when I was cooking and our son was asleep. Like I fucking did that as a joke or something.

Anyway, two minutes later she’s breaking down about how stressed and guilty she’s feeling is about leaving for a work trip and missing four nights with our son in one week.

I said maybe next time she could focus on making sure she enjoys her time with us before leaving instead of being miserable, which didn’t go over well.

THIS ONE I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. I have to leave later this week so I’m going to be an unstable mess until I leave and make you hate me and be thankful I’m gone for a while.

What the hell….

 

[djw004]

Folding clothes...fuck me...I fold my T-shirts, hoodies, boxers a certain way...she knows how I fold them. But when SHE folds my shit it's the exact opposite of how I fold it...EXACT OPPOSITE. I've asked her about it and the response I get is.........

fake guess only please

FUUUUUUUCK I HATE THIS.

But the answer you get is “well..I’ve asked you to provide me an orgasm in any way you possibly could and you can’t seem to do that for me…”

 

[Fitzjess21]

My marriage got infinitely better when we found other couples to hang out with. Kind of have two groups. My 2 best friends wives are probably my wife's two best friends. Then there's 7 or 8 other couples we both like hanging out with.

So you are a swinger?

 

[HCFord1]

My wife is incapable of understanding how the car thermostat works. When she gets into my car and is cold, she'll crank up the thermostat on her side to like 82 degrees. When I ask her if she wants the car to be 82 degrees inside, she says "no, i just want it to warm up."

I've tried to explain that if she has it set to 70 it will heat up just as quickly, but instead of continuing to get hot until she's uncomfortable and has to turn it back down, it would just continue heating enough to keep her side at 70 degrees.

You'd think I was trying to explain quantum physics or something.

 

[BluesBucksNHuskers]

My wife is incapable of understanding how the car thermostat works. When she gets into my car and is cold, she'll crank up the thermostat on her side to like 82 degrees. When I ask her if she wants the car to be 82 degrees inside, she says "no, i just want it to warm up."

I've tried to explain that if she has it set to 70 it will heat up just as quickly, but instead of continuing to get hot until she's uncomfortable and has to turn it back down, it would just continue heating enough to keep her side at 70 degrees.

You'd think I was trying to explain quantum physics or something.

Oh man, I know logically you’re right, but I’m 100% guilty of this too.

Cold and I have a very tight relationship though and my wife hates the cold. She’ll turn my side up hot to “heat it up faster” and every time I look at her like “Well fvck me I guess - don’t mind the driver of this thing getting a heat stroke over here”

 

[betsch]

I think it was mentioned but just the random phone calls for no reason. I'll be at work and get a call from her, expecting it to be something at least semi-important, and it's always a story about her trip to get coffee or her workout class at Orange Theory. And it takes 30 minutes to get off the phone

I get mine when I'm 2 minutes away from home. Like, can't we just wait 2 minutes until I'm home? I guess, at least she can't see me not paying attention when I'm on the phone.

 

[Drue629]

… does the toothpaste overflow from her mouth and stream all over her face as she chokes begging you to spit but you tell her you paid good money and expect her to swallow?

 

[Adolph Coors]

My wife is incapable of understanding how the car thermostat works. When she gets into my car and is cold, she'll crank up the thermostat on her side to like 82 degrees. When I ask her if she wants the car to be 82 degrees inside, she says "no, i just want it to warm up."

I've tried to explain that if she has it set to 70 it will heat up just as quickly, but instead of continuing to get hot until she's uncomfortable and has to turn it back down, it would just continue heating enough to keep her side at 70 degrees.

You'd think I was trying to explain quantum physics or something.

i think we disagree pretty heavily on this

 

[BBTown Bomber]

So my wife is a dance teacher at a large studio here in town. Typically she gets home between 9-9:30 at night. During this time of year she does choreography for the musical at the high school I teach at. So these last two weeks she's been getting home about 10:30 every night. Thursday night she gets all pissy at me for telling my oldest he looked like a schmuck in his clothes. Figured that was the issue. Apparently not.....

Friday I'm trying to get a little and she's like " I'm still getting over being mad at you"

I'm like " for calling micah a schmuck?"

She says "No, for being absent and not present all week"

I go " Are you serious? You work when I'm out of school. Wtf am I supposed to do?" Remember....she was at musical practice 4 out of the 5 nights really late.

Needless to say I was apparently in the wrong.......still don't know why.

You want me to talk to her??

.

 

[BBTown Bomber]

Pics of dance teacher please?

Ya gotta order a case of BBQ sauce first.

.

 

[BBTown Bomber]

She asks my opinion and then argues with me. Fun stuff....

This ^^^^^^^^

She asks for my opinion on something but if she doesn’t get the answer she has already predetermined, she gets pissy. Who woulda thunk it.

.

 

[BBTown Bomber]

She gets it.



You need to be watching Wrestling like a real man.


You need to be learning how to grapple another man.

You need to be learning how to pancake a man and shove a thumb up his butt.

You need to be riding men using your legs and pin their ass like a real man that’s totally not gay in anyway.


You need to be wearing a singlet under your clothes at all times so you’re ready for action.

Can I get a double leg takedown hell yeah @Bobfather?

I’m a little aroused right now……😎

.

 

[God is a Husker]

So you are a swinger?

@Jim14510

 

[BBTown Bomber]

This thread has made me realize that we are all married to the same woman.

Almost……..Mrs Bomber will watch the pron with me.

.

 

[BBTown Bomber]

Folding clothes...fuck me...I fold my T-shirts, hoodies, boxers a certain way...she knows how I fold them. But when SHE folds my shit it's the exact opposite of how I fold it...EXACT OPPOSITE. I've asked her about it and the response I get is.........

fake guess only please

I won’t let my wife anywhere near my t-shirts and other laundry.

.

 

[Alum-Ni]

1. My wife volunteers for extra things at work, or with her friends, or with her family, which stresses her out already, then adds to that stress, and then gets pissed off at me when my sense of urgency to also be included in those isn't correct or I don't stress out about them too.

2. Schedules contractors of different sorts to come work on our house during different times of the day for things I couldn't give a rat's ass ass about, but is important to her, then I GET STUCK with hanging out at the house while people are there working on something that I didn't want any part of in the first place

3. House gets cleaned. My lab comes in from out back, shakes once, 3 hairs fall on the hard wood floor, she loses her mind saying the "house is a mess now thanks to your dog. Good thing I just cleaned!"

4. Home all week long, no plans, family time in the evenings. Weekends, nothing else planned besides helping my dad with some farm chores. As soon as I'm getting ready to leave "look at that, he's leaving us again" "I just want you to be present for our child, please!"



I'm a very low stress/low blood pressure guy, not many cares in the world. People being mad at stupid shit drives me absolutely nuts

This rustles me to no end......

 

[betsch]

I can only imagine the list my wife could come up for me on this subject LOL.

 

[dsbigred1]

THIS ONE I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND. I have to leave later this week so I’m going to be an unstable mess until I leave and make you hate me and be thankful I’m gone for a while.

What the hell….

For sure- when I have to go somewhere for work or a weekend guys trip, I am doing every chore imaginable the week before so she basically doesn’t have shit to resent me for while I am gone. When the roles are reversed, I also have a list of chores to do while she’s gone… WTF?
But I am not shy about making sure she understands the double standard, and she is pretty good about sexing my dick off when we return to one another. Usually I am comfortable with that trade-off.

 

[Pipe Line]

This rustles me to no end......

Going on 5 years of marriage and I'm still shocked when it happens.