As a kid, what is the biggest asshole thing you ever did?

[Dble E]

I was probably 10, and my friend and I found his 6 brothers and sisters Easter Baskets in his garage while his mom was at work. We proceeded to eat every last piece of candy in every basket.

His mom didn't find out until the next morning when she went to go get them and set them up for the kids when they woke up. It took a bit for her to get it out of him who helped eat it all but our phone rang and his my mom told my mom who told my dad who then whipped my ass.

It was worth it.

 

[Tyneb23]

I broke my brother's collar bone doing the Hulk Hogan Leg drop on him.

 

[BIGSTICK67]

In college when I worked at a restaurant, I'd take the dishwasher's bicycle for a spin. Mind you, he was a little slow and could only wash dishes - he'd chase me around the parking lot and down the street. I'm sure the ladies weren't amused with my assholeness, but it was my way of messing with him - while also forming a connection.

I was otherwise nice to the guy, so maybe I'm not such a big asshole anyway?

 

[HuskerPAC]

Convinced a neighbor kid 2 years younger than me that boys got periods when they bleed out of their butts. Told him it was pretty weird he hadn’t had his by his age...got him pretty nervous to the point where he asked his mom.

 

[BIGSTICK67]

Convinced a neighbor kid 2 years younger than me that boys got periods when they bleed out of their butts. Told him it was pretty weird he hadn’t had his by his age...got him pretty nervous to the point where he asked his mom.

Always thought I had hemorrhoids PAC.

 

[Woodrow F Call]

I was 7, and thought it'd be cool to chuck a few rocks at my 4 year old brother who was nonchalantly playing and minding his own business.

1 rock was a little big and apparently had a jagged edge that it managed to get him 7 stitches at the ER when it connected with his dome. There was no lying my way out of that one.

 

[Dble E]

I was 7, and thought it'd be cool to chuck a few rocks at my 4 year old brother who was nonchalantly playing and minding his own business.

1 rock was a little big and apparently had a jagged edge that it managed to get him 7 stitches at the ER when it connected with his dome. There was no lying my way out of that one.

I smashed my cousins head when we were watching nascar and we were pretending who was which driver. His guy was winning the whole time. My guy passed his guy and he says....my guy is now his guy. I was mad so I smashed his head with a toy dump truck. He had to get three stitches....

 

[Blackshirts44]

About 15 or 16 years old. My friends neighbor was selling their house. We didn’t like them much since they had ratted us out for drinking at my buddy’s house. Anyways, they had a container with flyers attached to the for sale sign in their front yard. Three or four of us took turns peeing inside it one night. Not really sure why since the people grabbing the flyers had nothing to do with us getting in trouble but was always funny to think about their reaction when they pulled out a piss soaked flyer

 

[Jim14510]

Junior high basketball practice. We had a mentally challenged guy (roughly early 20s at the time) that was the equipment manager. Always happy and laughing and thrilled to be a part of the team. He was helping rebound during shoot around before practice. Every once in a while he'd go overboard on the rebounds and bump into someone. One time he inadvertently caught me with an elbow. I yelled "Settle down you fucking retard!"

Still feel terrible about that one as I type it out.

 

[BIGSTICK67]

Junior high basketball practice. We had a mentally challenged guy (roughly early 20s at the time) that was the equipment manager. Always happy and laughing and thrilled to be a part of the team. He was helping rebound during shoot around before practice. Every once in a while he'd go overboard on the rebounds and bump into someone. One time he inadvertently caught me with an elbow. I yelled "Settle down you fucking retard!"

Still feel terrible about that one as I type it out.

It's O.K. If you see my post above, what I did was probably worse. 🤔

 

[Jim14510]

It's O.K. If you see my post above, what I did was probably worse. 🤔

Mainly because you were college aged at the time.

 

[BIGSTICK67]

Mainly because you were college aged at the time.

Exactly - and another reason I didn't marry until I was 29. Life was too fun for too long.

 

[Baron Winnebago]

Junior high basketball practice. We had a mentally challenged guy (roughly early 20s at the time) that was the equipment manager. Always happy and laughing and thrilled to be a part of the team. He was helping rebound during shoot around before practice. Every once in a while he'd go overboard on the rebounds and bump into someone. One time he inadvertently caught me with an elbow. I yelled "Settle down you fucking retard!"

Still feel terrible about that one as I type it out.

You should euthanized

 

[Jim14510]

You should euthanized

 

[HuskerGarrett]

Junior high basketball practice. We had a mentally challenged guy (roughly early 20s at the time) that was the equipment manager. Always happy and laughing and thrilled to be a part of the team. He was helping rebound during shoot around before practice. Every once in a while he'd go overboard on the rebounds and bump into someone. One time he inadvertently caught me with an elbow. I yelled "Settle down you fucking retard!"

Still feel terrible about that one as I type it out.

Wow Jim I have to give you two warning points for that one

 

[Walter Sobchak]

I was 8 i think, was riding bikes with my little sister. Ran my bike into hers as she was in front of me going super slow, just to bump her off her seat a bit....
Noooope. She goes face first over the handle bars, hits the concrete angry bobdad style face first. Knocks out her 2 front teeth, turns a 3rd sideways, bloody nose, split lip, whole 9 yards.

Thankfully she didn't know it was on purpose and went waay wrong, but fuck I got my ass beat by both my parents that day. Mom in the morning after we got back from the dentist, dad kicked my ass after work. Not fun. Felt fucking awful too

 

[LoudHogRider]

I was 7, and thought it'd be cool to chuck a few rocks at my 4 year old brother who was nonchalantly playing and minding his own business.

1 rock was a little big and apparently had a jagged edge that it managed to get him 7 stitches at the ER when it connected with his dome. There was no lying my way out of that one.

I came to confess my rock throwing prowess sin as well. Nailed a family friend’s youngest brother. Helluva throw on my part, TBH, but there’s no covering up all that blood. Got my ass whipped by the old man, and I deserved it.

 

[Huskerbuck85]

Don’t hate me, I’m much older and wiser now.....
1) in our teens my best friend and I were on our way to go dove hunting. Hanging out the window with my shotgun aiming at a road sign I see a mut looking dog so I crack one off at it. Runs away yelping so he speeds up, slides his mini van (yeah he had a sweet ride) sideways, and blasts the dog out his window on this country road Y intersection. He throws it in the ditch and we proceed to hunt. The next morning we wake up at to his mom yellllllling his name and “get your fucking ass up here!!!”

apparently the family was on a walk and heard the shots, saw the slide and saw us get out. They found their dog there. Complete fucking assholes. Still feel bad some 20+ years later.

2) my older, much larger brother took my last piece of cake I was saving. So while standing in the kitchen yelling about it I busted him in the face and got his blood on two of the kitchen walls. Feel kinda bad 20+ years later.

3) same brother was picking on me once. For some reason I had some real-ish handcuffs in my hands and managed to get them on his wrists. Threw him on the ground and beat on him. He eventually busted them off by slamming them on the counter until his wrists were bloody and then proceeded to chase my friend and I out of the house with a shotgun.

4) my friends lived in a two story farm house. There were 4 brothers and I basically grew up there in my spare time. We were throwing clothes hangers down the hallway at each other for fun (long hallway upstairs). I tucked behind the door, grabbed a pump up BB gun and used the door as a shield while aiming down the hall. When I saw movement I started the squeeze and as soon as he popped out of that room I landed a bb on his upper chest. To this day he has a raised welt in that spot. (Pretty fucking stupid, I know)

 

[Jim14510]

Don’t get me, I’m much older and wiser now.....
1) in our teens my best friend and I were on our way to go dove hunting. Hanging out the window with my shotgun aiming at a road sign I see a mut looking dog so I crack one off at it. Runs away yelping so he speeds up, slides his mini van (yeah he had a sweet ride) sideways, and blasts the dog out his window on this country road Y intersection. He throws it in the ditch and we proceed to hunt. The next morning we wake up at to his mom yellllllling his name and “get your fucking ass up here!!!”

apparently the family was on a walk and heard the shots, saw the slide and saw us get out. They found their dog there. Complete fucking assholes. Still feel bad some 20+ years later.

2) my older, much larger brother took my last piece of cake I was saving. So while standing in the kitchen yelling about it I busted him in the face and got his blood on two of the kitchen walls. Feel kinda bad 20+ years later.

3) same brother was picking on me once. For some reason I had some real-ish handcuffs in my hands and managed to get them on his wrists. Threw him on the ground and beat on him. He eventually busted them off by slamming them on the counter until his wrists were bloody and then proceeded to chase my friend and I out of the house with a shotgun.

4) my friends lived in a two story farm house. There were 4 brothers and I basically grew up there in my spare time. We were throwing clothes hangers down the hallway at each other for fun (long hallway upstairs). I tucked behind the door, grabbed a pump up BB gun and used the door as a shield while aiming down the hall. When I saw movement I started the squeeze and as soon as he popped out of that room I landed a bb on his upper chest. To this day he has a raised welt in that spot. (Pretty fucking stupid, I know)

I feel better.

The dog one....

 

[Huskerbuck85]

I feel better.

The dog one....

Yeah it was pretty low and irresponsible. I understand you parting ways with me