I always frame it like this. The most significant adjustment in life is the first kid. Figuring out everything, loss of autonomy, it's obviously an earth shattering change. But eventually you find a rhythm.
The hardest, is 1 to 2. You can take everything you thought you knew and scrap it, because the 2nd will be different in every discernable way from the 1st, and while you're figuring out the new one you also have to keep another child (often a toddler) alive.
Everything after that, is not as hard of a transition, but everything gets less convenient. With 3, you're looking at needing more house, more car, it's harder to get out of the house, etc. Same challenges but experience makes you wiser.
The zone defense transition is real, so for your sanity's sake, you're gonna have to let some shit go. But like with the 2nd you'll eventually find a groove. Just have to find a balance. Don't be too hard on yourself while you're finding it though.
The process is exponentially harder when you do it 4 times before your oldest turns 4 1/2, FWIW