No shitting in the house.... (1 Viewer)

[Dble E]

We are having company over this weekend.....

Wife told my 2 boys and me that we can't take any shits in the house four hours before people start arriving. She's worried about residual smells....

She's a gem! What weird rules does your wife have???

 

[ZaneTrain23]

have one of your kids shit in the yard as a "ha didn't say we couldn't". Guarantee this buys you about an hour or two on the 4 hour no shit window in all future instances.

 

[2010sarenevercoming]

Enthusiastically greet your guests by very emphatically saying "the house should smell great, my wife has ensured that none of us have crapped in here for the last several hours!" and carry on about what a great idea of hers it was.

Remind everyone at mealtime how fresh & clean the air is in here and everyone can better enjoy the flavors of the food because "you remember why."

Be the loudest and most unrelenting supporter of her policy.

 

[Osborne1992]

We are having company over this weekend.....

Wife told my 2 boys and me that we can't take any shits in the house four hours before people start arriving. She's worried about residual smells....

She's a gem! What weird rules does your wife have???

Take this as an opportunity and run with it. Say your going out to take a shit somewhere but then leave to go golfing, go to the bar, go buy something to establish household dominance. Also, my condolences if you listen to this advice but if you do, report back on how it went.

 

[Johannes de Silentio]

You and your boys drop some real rancid dookies, or is your wife just uptight about pooping in general?

 

[huskermack]

Plant an upper-decker 4 1/2 hours before.

 

[BIG TONE SOPRANO]

We are having company over this weekend.....

Wife told my 2 boys and me that we can't take any shits in the house four hours before people start arriving. She's worried about residual smells....

She's a gem! What weird rules does your wife have???

Ever heard of a match? I believe they each cost 1/123rd of a cent. Very reasonable and effective.

 

[cwessel76]

We are having company over this weekend.....

Wife told my 2 boys and me that we can't take any shits in the house four hours before people start arriving. She's worried about residual smells....

She's a gem! What weird rules does your wife have???

I would load up on Chipotle and laxatives about six hours before company is set to arrive.

 

[huskin1]

 

[Herbie]

Ever heard of a match? I believe they each cost 1/123rd of a cent. Very reasonable and effective.

What do they cost if you buy them from hyvee

 

[Baron Winnebago]

Ever heard of a match? I believe they each cost 1/123rd of a cent. Very reasonable and effective.

Have you had to cover up the steaming poo smell of a once promising career that was wafting up from due south in the Little Apple?

 

[BIG TONE SOPRANO]

What do they cost if you buy them from hyvee

Prob 300 to 400 times as much @Jim14510

He loves blowing money there

 

[BIG TONE SOPRANO]

Have you had to cover up the steaming poo smell of a once promising career that was wafting up from due south in the Little Apple?

I don’t understand the reference?

- Michale Keaton from the Other Guys

 

[Baron Winnebago]

I don’t understand the reference?

- Michale Keaton from the Other Guys

I don't want your number Tone. And I don't want to give you mine.

 

[Eaton Beaver]

Take this as an opportunity and run with it. Say your going out to take a shit somewhere but then leave to go golfing, go to the bar, go buy something to establish household dominance. Also, my condolences if you listen to this advice but if you do, report back on how it went.

This! Go have a few beers!

 

[Eaton Beaver]

We are having company over this weekend.....

Wife told my 2 boys and me that we can't take any shits in the house four hours before people start arriving. She's worried about residual smells....

She's a gem! What weird rules does your wife have???

My wife's rules are don't hang out with my brothers or friends ever.

 

[BBTown Bomber]

Who’s wife insists on everyone taking their shoes off the minute anyone steps foot inside the house?

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[BIGSTICK67]

We are having company over this weekend.....

Wife told my 2 boys and me that we can't take any shits in the house four hours before people start arriving. She's worried about residual smells....

She's a gem! What weird rules does your wife have???

This rule...seriously. But it's only the toilet off the garage on the 1st level.

There's also not "4" hour rule. It's more about how your shit smells that day. Does it linger for 1 hour, 2 hours, etc. We're the judge of our own shits.

BTW, I have two boys as well.

 

[BBTown Bomber]

This rule...seriously. But it's only the toilet off the garage on the 1st level.

There's also not "4" hour rule. It's more about how your shit smells that day. Does it linger for 1 hour, 2 hours, etc. We're the judge of our own shits.

BTW, I have two boys as well.

💩💩💩💩💩




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[Mr.Bojangles]

We are having company over this weekend.....

Wife told my 2 boys and me that we can't take any shits in the house four hours before people start arriving. She's worried about residual smells....

She's a gem! What weird rules does your wife have???

Just use the neighbors it'll be fine.😆