You have to kick a sleeping polar bear or tickle a black mamba on the head. Which one would you choose?

[2010sarenevercomingback]

Polar bear is aggressive, territorial, and going to catch and maul you, 99.9% chance it can run anyone besides an elite athlete down in distance.

Mamba you have a slight chance of dodging the bite, maybe 1-5%, and they're probably not going to chase you once you stop bothering them.

I effing hate snakes, but that's the move to maximize survival chances.

 

[Herbie]

Usain Bolt’s world record 100 meter would have him still getting mauled at the 2 yard line if he got a 1 second head start

 

[Juro]

I hate snakes, so I choose death by polar bear.

 

[2010sarenevercomingback]

Honestly, the hardest part of tickling a black mamba's head is going to be finding the location of Kobe's grave

 

[Jim14510]

I typed up my response to say the Black Mamba. But the more I thought about it, the sleeping aspect of the Polar Bear and 100 yards to safety give the Polar Bear the best chance of survival for me. 1) A kick from me might not even be enough for a Polar Bear to consider it a threat. 2) It's sleeping - it has to wake up, find out which way I'm running and the catch me. It doesn't start of at 25 mph. At 25 mph, it would take the Polar Bear over 8 seconds to run the 100 yards. If I can sprint 15 mph, that would be about 13.5 seconds. It gives me a 5 second window for the Polar Bear to wake up, see where I am and get up to speed. Better odds that the 100% kill rate of a Mamba bite...

Exactly what I was thinking.

Realistically though I'm @dead either way. Would rather die of the snake bite than ripped up by a polar bear.

 

[Jim14510]

Usain Bolt’s world record 100 meter would have him still getting mauled at the 2 yard line if he got a 1 second head start

The only chance with the Polar Bear is that its sleeping heavy enough that he takes a solid 30 seconds or so of groggily waking up before he realized it was me that kicked him.

 

[CornHub]

Trick question, you never said what we had to use to tickle the mamba's head. With a long enough stick I think one could pretty easily tickle it's head and run away safely.

 

[Jim14510]

Trick question, you never said what we had to use to tickle the mamba's head. With a long enough stick I think one could pretty easily tickle it's head and run away safely.

I choose a long knife/sword.

Can I also use @Baron Winnebago to kick the Polar bear?

 

[Tell_Sackett]

I'll choose the polar bear because they are so cuddly. Give it a light kick, a Coke and a smile and I'm sure he'd understand. Snakes don't like Coke.

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

[Adolph Coors]

depends how big the polar bears piece of ice is

 

[Pipe Line]

Polar bear 100%

 

[HuskerGarrett]

I typed up my response to say the Black Mamba. But the more I thought about it, the sleeping aspect of the Polar Bear and 100 yards to safety give the Polar Bear the best chance of survival for me. 1) A kick from me might not even be enough for a Polar Bear to consider it a threat. 2) It's sleeping - it has to wake up, find out which way I'm running and the catch me. It doesn't start of at 25 mph. At 25 mph, it would take the Polar Bear over 8 seconds to run the 100 yards. If I can sprint 15 mph, that would be about 13.5 seconds. It gives me a 5 second window for the Polar Bear to wake up, see where I am and get up to speed. Better odds that the 100% kill rate of a Mamba bite...

@Amk005 reported this post with the following comment

Fact Check: after a Wikipedia rabbit hole, black mamba’s can only slither up to 12mph and have nowhere near their wives’ tale 100% kill rate, though they are extremely aggressive and have a super high L50 toxicity rate. They are afraid of humans and will actively avoid them whereas polar bears are the only bear that will actively hunt humans. ——— if we’re going to allow dissertations we may have to ask members to cite 3 sources, preferably APA style

 

[HuskerDocCo]

made sure it got rejected @HuskerGarrett no bants or points handed to you @Lionsfan93 lol sumbitch sumbitch summbbiitttcchh

 

[HuskerGarrett]

View attachment 24581
made sure it got rejected @HuskerGarrett no bants or points handed to you @Lionsfan93 lol sumbitch sumbitch summbbiitttcchh

Doc how is your phone already down to 37%? Up all night farmin?

 

[HuskerDocCo]

Doc how is your phone already down to 37%? Up all night farmin?

had the grand babies over last night , been farmin since 4

 

[Black Dean]

Snake easily

 

[Baron Winnebago]

View attachment 24581
made sure it got rejected @HuskerGarrett no bants or points handed to you @Lionsfan93 lol sumbitch sumbitch summbbiitttcchh

The man has legendary self control and can problem make the sex for hours with that level of discipline. I assume.

 

[Lionsfan93]

@Amk005 reported this post with the following comment

Here was my source lol. A PBS article on Black Mambas....

 

[Baron Winnebago]

Here was my source lol. A PBS article on Black Mambas....
View attachment 24584

Does @Amk005 strike you as a man who wouldn't be a professional venomous snake handler?

 

[Herbie]

Here was my source lol. A PBS article on Black Mambas....
View attachment 24584

Can we confirm if we get anti venom or not?