1HuskerDad
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A buddy of mine was in his residency as an ER doctor and his shift was ending on a Saturday afternoon. He's walking out the door when he sees this old man in golfing clothing dragging his unconscious wife into the ER. She's covered in blood from a head wound and my friend he immediately starts looking her over right there in front of the entrance trying to find her wound.
Trying to remain calm he asks, "What happened here, sir?"
The husband is in a panic and exhausted from carrying her dead weight and is just stumbling over his words and rambling all over the place as he tries to explain. "Well, me and my wife have been married for 35 years and every Saturday morning since our wedding day we've played a round of golf together. You see her dad was the local golf pro..."
"Sir, please try to focus here. How did she get injured?"
"Sorry. So I play from the men's tees and she plays from the women's and she normally drops me off in the cart and then heads up to her tees and waits for me to hit and I walk up."
"Sir!" My buddy's getting frustrated because he's really struggling to find the wound with the blood and is searching frantically at this point.
"I'm explaining it to you, son! So anyways she drops me off like always and I set up for my drive and I thinned it! I never thin it! Never! And lo and behold that ball had eyes for my dear Agnes' - Agnes is my wife here - head. I yelled 'Fore!' but she wasn't looking and boom! Straight to the back of her head!" He just starts weeping at this point clearly overcome by guilt.
Finally my buddy finds the cause of the bleeding but he's confused. "Sir, I actually see two injuries here."
The old man dries his eyes, instantly gains his composure, and states matter of factly, "Well I had to take a mulligan."
Let's not duplicate jokes guys.I'm probably gonna butcher this but it's golf related so it might land with your golf buddies.
An old man comes rushing into the emergency room holding an old woman bleeding profusely from her head. The doctor rushes over to grab the woman. All the blood made it hard to see the source of her injury.
"What happened?" he asked the man, trying to ascertain the situation.
"Well, uh, my wife and I have played golf together every Sunday for 40 years. We went out today like we usually do on Sundays but didn't get a cart like we usually do. It was nice enough to walk."
"Sir!" the doctor barks. "Tell me what happened to her."
"I'm getting there! Like I said we were out golfing and I'm gearing up for a drive on the 16th hole, a long par 4. Narrow fairway with a dog leg left so I..."
"Sir, tell me now what happened!"
"Well you see I hit from the men's tees, but my wife hits from the women's tees up front. She was standing up there while I teed off. 40 years and I've never hit a drive that thin. Hit her right in the head."
"OK...but sir, there are two wounds here..."
"...Doc I had to hit a mulligan."
We've got a winner.A teacher walks in to sex ed class with a banana. He says, “class, today I’m going to teach you how to put on a condom…. And I have a hard time getting an erection on an empty stomach.”
Probably happened in Florida or California.A teacher walks in to sex ed class with a banana. He says, “class, today I’m going to teach you how to put on a condom…. And I have a hard time getting an erection on an empty stomach.”
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