Norm MacDonald so read it in his voice.
Just the other week I had someone move next to me. Original neighbor died of cancer about three months ago. So as the great neighbor I am I go to greet my new neighbor, I say "Hey there uhh neighbor just dropping by to say hello, say what do you do for a living?"
He says "Nice to meet you. I’m a professor of logic down at the University of Science."
I say "Professor of Logic! Now what the hell is that?"
He says "It's a series of inferences and uhhh, let me give you a example. Do you own a doghouse?"
I say "Yes, yes I do"
He says "So you have a dog meaning you probably have a family too?"
I say "Yep"
He then says "So you probably have a wife and kids meaning your a straight heterosexual man?"
I say "That's correct"
He then finishes by saying "That's logic. Just from knowing you have a doghouse I figured out you were a straight male."
I say "Well damn, isn't that something. Well I gotta go catch a bus, talk to you later uhh neighbor."
So I walk to the bus stop. There's around four people standing there.
Guy lights up a cigarette says "Ya' know once you light a cigarette the bus comes"
He smokes the whole cigarette the bus doesn't arrive, I say "That theory really worked huh?"
He reply's "It's works every now and then. What's new with you?“
I say just meeting my new neighbor "l learned about logic"
He says "Logic? What hell is that?"
Knowing what I know now I say " its a series of uhhh, let me give you a example.
Do you own a doghouse?"
He says "No I own no doghouse."
I say "So you’re one of those gays"