Hey Y’all

[Dell Husker]

Put laxatives in the coffee

 

[DrinkItIn]

Long story short…

My whole family got Covid. Wife got sick on Christmas Eve. We were actually sick very little. My mother in law text me in basically these words “If you refuse to do things to protect your family like wear a mask and get vaccinated you will have to seek other accommodations.” So yes. My mother in law was basically trying to kick me out of my own house. That was two ish weeks ago.

Back story, my wife is a district manager for a retail outlet. She runs about 10 stores from Wichita all the way up to Sioux Falls. She would have been around thousands of people the two weeks before Christmas as she was in and out of stores those two weeks. Last week, 80 people in her district alone were sick with Covid.

So essentially, everything is my fault regardless of the logic or evidence.

Fast forward to Tuesday. Wife has first chemo treatment. She’s worn out and wants to sleep. That’s about all. But mother in law finds it necessary to stay at my house the last two nights. Why? No idea. There’s nothing for her to really do. You can cut the tension between her and I with a knife when she’s around.

That's tough man. Does your wife want here there? If she does, there is not much you can do.

 

[Pipe Line]

Long story short…

My whole family got Covid. Wife got sick on Christmas Eve. We were actually sick very little. My mother in law text me in basically these words “If you refuse to do things to protect your family like wear a mask and get vaccinated you will have to seek other accommodations.” So yes. My mother in law was basically trying to kick me out of my own house. That was two ish weeks ago.

Back story, my wife is a district manager for a retail outlet. She runs about 10 stores from Wichita all the way up to Sioux Falls. She would have been around thousands of people the two weeks before Christmas as she was in and out of stores those two weeks. Last week, 80 people in her district alone were sick with Covid.

So essentially, everything is my fault regardless of the logic or evidence.

Fast forward to Tuesday. Wife has first chemo treatment. She’s worn out and wants to sleep. That’s about all. But mother in law finds it necessary to stay at my house the last two nights. Why? No idea. There’s nothing for her to really do. You can cut the tension between her and I with a knife when she’s around.

That's super ironic. Learned yesterday my brother in law tested positive for COVID yesterday. My mother in law babysits my daughter and his son together in Weeping Water at my brother in law's house when everyone is at work. My brother in law has apparently felt like shit for the last couple days, but my mother in law has continued to do the babysitting thing to help my brother in law out. Side story, my daughter has to get ear tube surgery in 2 weeks. So, now, my wife is now pissed off at her mom and brother for bringing COVID into the family when my daughter has to be healthy for her surgery in 2 weeks.


And I'm like, everybody chill.

 

[...TrueColors...]

That's tough man. Does your wife want here there? If she does, there is not much you can do.

In my opinion and based on observations, I think it was one of those things where my wife had a neutral opinion about her being here but knew her mom wanted to be here so she just let her hang out.

 

[...TrueColors...]

That's super ironic. Learned yesterday my brother in law tested positive for COVID yesterday. My mother in law babysits my daughter and his son together in Weeping Water at my brother in law's house when everyone is at work. My brother in law has apparently felt like shit for the last couple days, but my mother in law has continued to do the babysitting thing to help my brother in law out. Side story, my daughter has to get ear tube surgery in 2 weeks. So, now, my wife is now pissed off at her mom and brother for bringing COVID into the family when my daughter has to be healthy for her surgery in 2 weeks.


And I'm like, everybody chill.

The science would kind of suggest that it was probably the best thing to happen for all of us to get COVID 3.5 weeks before my wife started chemo treatments. Now there’s very little risk of us getting it and her having to delay any treatments right in the middle of chemo.

 

[HCFord1]

Long story short…

My whole family got Covid. Wife got sick on Christmas Eve. We were actually sick very little. My mother in law text me in basically these words “If you refuse to do things to protect your family like wear a mask and get vaccinated you will have to seek other accommodations.” So yes. My mother in law was basically trying to kick me out of my own house. That was two ish weeks ago.

Back story, my wife is a district manager for a retail outlet. She runs about 10 stores from Wichita all the way up to Sioux Falls. She would have been around thousands of people the two weeks before Christmas as she was in and out of stores those two weeks. Last week, 80 people in her district alone were sick with Covid.

So essentially, everything is my fault regardless of the logic or evidence.

Fast forward to Tuesday. Wife has first chemo treatment. She’s worn out and wants to sleep. That’s about all. But mother in law finds it necessary to stay at my house the last two nights. Why? No idea. There’s nothing for her to really do. You can cut the tension between her and I with a knife when she’s around.

Was she saying this under the context of your wife starting chemo treatments?

 

[DrinkItIn]

In my opinion and based on observations, I think it was one of those things where my wife had a neutral opinion about her being here but knew her mom wanted to be here so she just let her hang out.

Right on. That is completely understandable and she doesn't want to upset her mom as her mom is obviously very worried as well. But if you and your wife know that your wife would be better off w/o her mother there, hopefully, you can talk your wife into letting her mother know that she doesn't need to be there anymore.

 

[...TrueColors...]

Was she saying this under the context of your wife starting chemo treatments?

I think so. Not terribly sure

 

[Alcaus]

Long story short…

My whole family got Covid. Wife got sick on Christmas Eve. We were actually sick very little. My mother in law text me in basically these words “If you refuse to do things to protect your family like wear a mask and get vaccinated you will have to seek other accommodations.” So yes. My mother in law was basically trying to kick me out of my own house. That was two ish weeks ago.

Back story, my wife is a district manager for a retail outlet. She runs about 10 stores from Wichita all the way up to Sioux Falls. She would have been around thousands of people the two weeks before Christmas as she was in and out of stores those two weeks. Last week, 80 people in her district alone were sick with Covid.

So essentially, everything is my fault regardless of the logic or evidence.

Fast forward to Tuesday. Wife has first chemo treatment. She’s worn out and wants to sleep. That’s about all. But mother in law finds it necessary to stay at my house the last two nights. Why? No idea. There’s nothing for her to really do. You can cut the tension between her and I with a knife when she’s around.

That’s shitty. What did you say to that?

 

[...TrueColors...]

That’s shitty. What did you say to that?

I didn’t respond. If she read what I wrote back different than what I intended to say, while I’m not responsible for that, I would still have been the bad guy.

 

[HCFord1]

I think so. Not terribly sure

Definitely a fucked up thing for her to say or even imply, regardless. It's crazy for her to think that you would be doing anything that you thought would put your wife's health at risk now.

The only thing I would say, and this is without any understanding of their relationship so I may be off base here, is that you have to remember that she's a mom who's worried about her daughter. Every emotion that you're having about your wife's treatment is something that she's probably feeling as well, so even when you and MIL are pissed at each other just remember that it's likely coming from the same place of concern for your wife.

I would probably just sit down with the MIL and talk to her about what you're feeling and reassure her that you're taking this just as seriously as she is. That's not really something that you should have to do, but she just may need to hear it from you once in a while.

If things don't improve after that then I would have a conversation with your wife about telling your MIL that she needs to avoid being a source of additional stress and conflict or else she'll need to leave. Just my two cents.

 

[Alcaus]

I didn’t respond. If she read what I wrote back different than what I intended to say, while I’m not responsible for that, I would still have been the bad guy.

Damn, didn’t want to say it to your face. What did your wife say? Or did you keep it to yourself (I probably would’ve sat on it)

Not sure I’d be able to keep my composure hearing some batshit like that.

 

[...TrueColors...]

Damn, didn’t want to say it to your face. What did your wife say? Or did you keep it to yourself (I probably would’ve sat on it)

Not sure I’d be able to keep my composure hearing some batshit like that.

In my opinion, there’s no excuse to not come off in a text message very tactful, measured, and calculated because you’ve got time to think about what you’d like to say. I couldn’t do that at that time, so I decided not to respond.

Weird dynamic. MIL would fit right in with the type of person we describe at “run the ball guy.” Her whole life, she has been this “This is my opinion. Now state it back to me in my exact words or I don’t wanna hear it and you’re wrong” type of person. FIL has just always gone with it because it’s easier to not rock the boat and my wife and BIL have just kind of followed suit.

As everyone who has ever read one of my message board posts, I’m not that dude. Problem is that I dont see it as wise to put the added stress on my wife to have to deal with her mom’s bullshit at the same time she goes through chemo.

 

[...TrueColors...]

Definitely a fucked up thing for her to say or even imply, regardless. It's crazy for her to think that you would be doing anything that you thought would put your wife's health at risk now.

The only thing I would say, and this is without any understanding of their relationship so I may be off base here, is that you have to remember that she's a mom who's worried about her daughter. Every emotion that you're having about your wife's treatment is something that she's probably feeling as well, so even when you and MIL are pissed at each other just remember that it's likely coming from the same place of concern for your wife.

I would probably just sit down with the MIL and talk to her about what you're feeling and reassure her that you're taking this just as seriously as she is. That's not really something that you should have to do, but she just may need to hear it from you once in a while.

If things don't improve after that then I would have a conversation with your wife about telling your MIL that she needs to avoid being a source of additional stress and conflict or else she'll need to leave. Just my two cents.

It’s definitely a situation where she’s worried and concerned. The thing is it appears she is looking for someone or something to blame and that entity is me.

 

[slattimer]

My mother in law text me in basically these words “If you refuse to do things to protect your family like wear a mask and get vaccinated you will have to seek other accommodations.”

She sucks out loud. Tell her to get the fuck out and go home.

 

[Alcaus]

Problem is that I dont see it as wise to put the added stress on my wife to have to deal with her mom’s bullshit at the same time she goes through chemo.

That was my thought. It’s really the only thing that matters.

 

[djw004]

That was my thought. It’s really the only thing that matters.

Mothers have a hard time realizing that things aren’t all about them. MIL “feeling needed” should be concern number 134 right now. Wife/her daughter feeling supported and having an easy environment should be concern number 1.

 

[RedSeaRising]

Divorce worked for me.

Same. Was more expensive but much less risky than murder.

 

[LoudHogRider]

Definitely a fucked up thing for her to say or even imply, regardless. It's crazy for her to think that you would be doing anything that you thought would put your wife's health at risk now.

The only thing I would say, and this is without any understanding of their relationship so I may be off base here, is that you have to remember that she's a mom who's worried about her daughter. Every emotion that you're having about your wife's treatment is something that she's probably feeling as well, so even when you and MIL are pissed at each other just remember that it's likely coming from the same place of concern for your wife.

I would probably just sit down with the MIL and talk to her about what you're feeling and reassure her that you're taking this just as seriously as she is. That's not really something that you should have to do, but she just may need to hear it from you once in a while.

If things don't improve after that then I would have a conversation with your wife about telling your MIL that she needs to avoid being a source of additional stress and conflict or else she'll need to leave. Just my two cents.

 

[Saudi_aurora]

Good evening gentlemen. This is a sappy post that I’ve been struggling to write for a few weeks now. Please, if you know me personally off the board, don’t be offended that I didn’t text or call as I’ve just really been struggling to talk about this with anyone.

About three weeks ago, my wife was diagnosed with stage 2 grade 3 breast cancer. She’s 33. Seventy percent of her cancer cells are multiplying, so time is of the essence and they plan to begin chemotherapy treatments this week.

I am very impressed with the team from CHI that we will be working with and the vast amount of knowledge they provide is overwhelming.

We have been having conversations about what happens if this doesn’t work. It’s hard for me to ever think worst case scenario as you all know, because God made me an optimist for a reason and that part will never change. So those talks have been extremely difficult for me to have especially as they make my mind wonder about how our 5 year old will handle all of this.

I reached my breaking point last night after an incident with my mother in law.

This is a place I spend a good chunk of time and I consider many of you my friends. So I could really use some thoughts and prayers now boys.

Jesus man, didn't see this thread the first time around. So sorry bro. I can't imagine how you and your family are feeling right now. Definitely keeping you in our thoughts.