Cozad murder/suicide

[Kaladin]

This is a really sad story.

We have insight to the daily journey leading up to this weekend on their Facebook page. No doubt this will be made into a documentary.

Anchoring Hope for Mental Health: Jeremy & Bailey Koch

Anchoring Hope for Mental Health: Jeremy & Bailey Koch. 22,457 likes · 14,424 talking about this. High school sweethearts now together over 25 years, our love story consists of fighting suicidal...

www.facebook.com

This post from a month ago...
Jeremy has survived multiple suicide attempts... most recently last month when I woke to my husband standing next to our bed with a knife. Thank God, he had a moment of clarity and was able to wake me up to tell me something was wrong. We talked through the ups and downs as he debated ending his life, and I was able to distract him long enough to hide the knife. He then accepted help and allowed me to take him to our safe place, Richard Young Hospital in Kearney.

When I read the story my first thought was that he must have killed them while they were sleeping

No idea how he actually did it but that post makes you wonder

What kind of demons would posses a man to kill his own kids

 

[Dr.DrakeRamoray]

Man had clearly one of the most supportive and loving wife’s out there. To take the kids and her life is just heartbreaking

 

[Cash68847]

I think I read he was at Mary Lanning in Hastings before going home. I assume they’ll be under pretty intense scrutiny. . .

I think the one kid was going to graduate in Cozad Saturday. I wonder if the family wanted him out for the graduation? I think he was in Richard Young not long before Mary Lanning.

 

[huskin1]

I think the one kid was going to graduate in Cozad Saturday. I wonder if the family wanted him out for the graduation? I think he was in Richard Young not long before Mary Lanning.

Yes, they did want him to be there for graduation. Terrible tragedy all around and I can’t fathom what the wife/kids went through, as well as the rest of their family and friends. Just disgusting and rips at your heart

 

[Kaladin]

I think the one kid was going to graduate in Cozad Saturday. I wonder if the family wanted him out for the graduation? I think he was in Richard Young not long before Mary Lanning.

 

[Kaladin]

 

[Bulldog10]

Anyone else think that his wife posting about his issues probably only made everything worse? I couldn’t imagine going through that & have my wife posting on social media for the world to see my issues..

 

[alt f4]

Anyone else think that his wife posting about his issues probably only made everything worse? I couldn’t imagine going through that & have my wife posting on social media for the world to see my issues..

As I read through everything, I sensed she felt her mission in life was not only to help her husband, but also help others in their situation. She truly believed it was making a difference in his life and other's lives.

It's so hard not to sit here judging her actions and point blame at her for the kid's and own death by trying to be that champion and supportive of her husband through the good and bad.

This is a horrible increasing trend in Nebraska in the recent months. There have been 4 murder-suicides (one guy did survive) since February.

 

[Huskersballz]

Not to de-rail this thread, but Netflix has a documentary called The Family Nextdoor. Successful husband who killed his pregnant wife and two daughters. At the time that the documentary came out, I had 2 daughters the same age as his and my wife was pregnant. It fucked with me so much. I can't imagine the terror in those kids when their daddy was attacking them...

That’s the Chris Watts one right? That dude was a straight up scum bag, can’t even blame it on mental health.

 

[COYS]

I work at one of the largest inpatient psych hospitals in Nebraska doing intakes. I can tell you imo Nebraska definitely needs more regional center type facilities to care for chronically mentally ill population. There are so many out there just incapable of taking care of themselves. They need to be in locked facility with structure, no access to drugs and their medications administered to them. Right now all we have is the Lincoln Regional Center and that is extremely difficult to get patients into and long term wait.

So what inevitably happens is our hospital can’t hold people forever so they get discharged to a community group home that has a little structure but is usually poorly staffed with individuals who don’t know how to care for this population. They get kicked out usually for some type of behavior and come back to the hospital, we find them new place to go and rinse/repeat until they have burned their bridges in all community support facilities. End up homeless, start using drugs/etoh with no community support and just spiral out of control with no quality of life and roaming our streets high on drugs or unmedicated schizoaffective/schizohrenia. They live in the emergency departments and hop from hospital to hospital taking up inpatient beds when they need a respite from the street life.

They simply can’t take care of themselves and would be best served in a state hospital locked away. Again, just my opinion from someone who works with this population. I would add, this situation in Cozad is completely different scenario than what I discussed above. That’s a difficult case with a guy who had a loving, supporting family and stable environment.

 

[Goskers07]

Anyone else think that his wife posting about his issues probably only made everything worse? I couldn’t imagine going through that & have my wife posting on social media for the world to see my issues..

Not at all. I think she was very actively working behind the scenes to help and advocate for him in an arena that is increasingly getting more crowded nationwide without assistance. Her postings were not ones that I took as damaging as I read them. More so they were insightful, honest, and directed to help others battling the same issues.

I think it is very easy to say they were damaging, especially after these events, because so much other shit that goes on Facebook is dramatic, damaging, and pointless. But I think she was doing this the right way and was fighting a battle she didn't sign up for in a way we could all only pray our wives would for us if we got stuck in that situation.

 

[Driveway Jordan]

I work at one of the largest inpatient psych hospitals in Nebraska doing intakes. I can tell you imo Nebraska definitely needs more regional center type facilities to care for chronically mentally ill population. There are so many out there just incapable of taking care of themselves. They need to be in locked facility with structure, no access to drugs and their medications administered to them. Right now all we have is the Lincoln Regional Center and that is extremely difficult to get patients into and long term wait.

So what inevitably happens is our hospital can’t hold people forever so they get discharged to a community group home that has a little structure but is usually poorly staffed with individuals who don’t know how to care for this population. They get kicked out usually for some type of behavior and come back to the hospital, we find them new place to go and rinse/repeat until they have burned their bridges in all community support facilities. End up homeless, start using drugs/etoh with no community support and just spiral out of control with no quality of life and roaming our streets high on drugs or unmedicated schizoaffective/schizohrenia. They live in the emergency departments and hop from hospital to hospital taking up inpatient beds when they need a respite from the street life.

They simply can’t take care of themselves and would be best served in a state hospital locked away. Again, just my opinion from someone who works with this population. I would add, this situation in Cozad is completely different scenario than what I discussed above. That’s a difficult case with a guy who had a loving, supporting family and stable environment.

Appreciate the insight and your dedication to the mental health crisis that plagues our society.

Not to get political, but it just seems like common sense: the more we medicate ourselves as a society, the more mental health problems there seem to be.

 

[Napkins]

I work at one of the largest inpatient psych hospitals in Nebraska doing intakes. I can tell you imo Nebraska definitely needs more regional center type facilities to care for chronically mentally ill population. There are so many out there just incapable of taking care of themselves. They need to be in locked facility with structure, no access to drugs and their medications administered to them.

I am firmly opposed to asylums as they have been enacted in the past but I will absolutely acknowledge that our current resources (I’m not in Nebraska but it is a national issue) for the outpatient level of care are insufficient and many of our patients need a more restrictive level of care than a group home. It’s hard for me to square that with my view on patient autonomy, but I remember an article in favor of asylums referring to the absence of asylums and the lack of suitable alternatives as patients roaming the streets “dying with their rights on.” Unfortunately I think that is often true.

 

[nja13]

Anyone else think that his wife posting about his issues probably only made everything worse? I couldn’t imagine going through that & have my wife posting on social media for the world to see my issues..

No. Reading through what he was going through ITT and how he was reacting... I don't think Facebook posts were making any difference one way or the other.

 

[Kaladin]

Not at all. I think she was very actively working behind the scenes to help and advocate for him in an arena that is increasingly getting more crowded nationwide without assistance. Her postings were not ones that I took as damaging as I read them. More so they were insightful, honest, and directed to help others battling the same issues.

I think it is very easy to say they were damaging, especially after these events, because so much other shit that goes on Facebook is dramatic, damaging, and pointless. But I think she was doing this the right way and was fighting a battle she didn't sign up for in a way we could all only pray our wives would for us if we got stuck in that situation.

Probably a form of therapy for the wife

I can’t imagine what would be like to have to live with that every single day, raise two kids, be the only source of income

 

[Ghost of Devaney]

My nephew died by suicide 2 years ago at 18. Straight A student, great athlete, class clown but fkn demons, depression, anxiety hit around 15. Parents did so much for him but he needed inpatient mental health. Had to leave the state for a youth program. There’s not a lot available in NE. Expensive as sh1t. Mid 6 figures on top of what was covered by their insurance.

If you haven’t seen mental health issues firsthand be so fkn grateful. Their life is so hard. One minute normal the next a nightmare for the entire family. Anyway we joined the club we didn’t want to belong to and did the annual walk for suicide awareness. Last fall the mother (victim) Bailey in this case was the guest speaker. She shared their story and the entire crowd was in tears. Gut wrenching love story.

High school sweethearts, cheerleader and star football player. Got married and lived normally until… they tried so hard. He had so many attempts but she wouldn’t leave his side and she has written about that decision on a blog that is read nationally to help people who are unfamiliar with mental health better understand. He wasn’t a bad man, he was a sick man. As her father posted (someone posted his message ITT) they hope to use this tragedy to raise awareness and demand changes to our healthcare and insurance coverages. He was waiting for insurance approval for a program of some sort when this happened.

 

[Ghost of Devaney]

Here’s her blog.Grab a drink before reading https://www.facebook.com/anchoringhopeformentalhealth?

 

[2010sarenevercomingback]

I am firmly opposed to asylums as they have been enacted in the past but I will absolutely acknowledge that our current resources (I’m not in Nebraska but it is a national issue) for the outpatient level of care are insufficient and many of our patients need a more restrictive level of care than a group home. It’s hard for me to square that with my view on patient autonomy, but I remember an article in favor of asylums referring to the absence of asylums and the lack of suitable alternatives as patients roaming the streets “dying with their rights on.” Unfortunately I think that is often true.

My personal opinion is that asylums are bad, and that about the only thing worse than asylums is not having asylums.

The autonomy tightrope is tricky, but the desperately sick and/or evil continually violate the autonomy of others, so leaving them largely unrestrained is simply an attack on the sovereignty of the most caring, weak, and vulnerable.

 

[Sous Chef]

This thread is too depressing.

 

[Napkins]

My personal opinion is that asylums are bad, and that about the only thing worse than asylums is not having asylums.

The autonomy tightrope is tricky, but the desperately sick and/or evil continually violate the autonomy of others, so leaving them largely unrestrained is simply an attack on the sovereignty of the most caring, weak, and vulnerable.

That is more or less what I’m left with. The antisocial/psychopathic bunch end up in a correctional setting anyway but the chronically psychotic and low functioning bunch that fail the group home setting or whatever and end up with recidivistic presentations to the ED are just a drain on the system so it takes a justice/beneficence vs autonomy shape. Whatever utopian ideal I have for the treatment of the mentally ill is largely not practically applicable. My hope would be that if asylums were reinstated that they could be implemented in a humane and therapeutic way though I have my doubts.