3rd kid

[HCFord1]

We never really considered a third, and I guess technically it still could've been an option until this week when my wife started listing off all of our infant gear on facebook to donate. We have two boys, oldest will be 4 next week and youngest is 1.5 and I'm pretty confident that they will be crazy enough to keep both of us fully engaged as parents until they move out some day. I think if we could guarantee that the third would be a girl then we both would've been up for it, but the idea of a third little lunatic boy running around the house is pretty scary. That and my wife had pretty bad post partum depression with our second and we're 37/38 makes it probably logical to call and get scheduled for the snip.

 

[RedSeaRising]

I've got 4 kids now. 3 girls and a boy. The boy was the last of the 4. The 3rd girl...well, I love that girl to death. She's a complete, and utter Daddy's girl. But she is also going to be the death of me. She's going to suck as a teenager. She's fiercely independent, but probably the best...and most troublesome trait she has, if you tell her she can't do something...she's going to do it, just to prove you wrong. "You can't swim without your puddle jumper yet"...she gets mad, within a month, she's flying off the high board, swimming all over the place as a 4 year old. "You can't swim out into the ocean without help, I can only take a couple of you at a time." Look back 5 minutes later...here she comes with her puddle jumper on and on a boogie board, getting over waves and swimming out to us.

She's constantly antagonizing our oldest child. The oldest acts like she's the mom and it drives her nuts. Somedays, they're great together, others...they're oil and water.

We should have know since birth, our only C-section. Plus her walking at just over 8 months.

Life would be much less interesting and exciting without her.

Also, we had her when I was 34, our last when I was 36.

Man that's my threenager to a tee. She's the second oldest of my 4 daughters.

She's going to be my demise. She's fiercely independent as you describe, whip smart, and has a temper.

The other night I was putting her to bed but I didn't bring up her blanket. She demanded that I go downstairs and bring it up to her. I didn't like her tone, we argued a little bit, I made her go get it. She stomped as hard as she could for every step all the way down and my wife was on the couch so she asked her what was wrong.

"I'm fucking mad at dad and dad's fucking mad at me!"

 

[iruletheskool]

Also, with 3 kids everyone at every store feels the need to tell you "got your hands full."

I've been told that when you get the 4th people just think yore a weirdo and stop the unsolicited comments.

 

[skersker]

Do we share kids? That's exactly how ours are. The oldest is a very proud big brother, but he can get so wound up sometimes. The middle is the one that will definitely be a cold blooded gang leader some say.

Haha yep. But i must have done something in a previous life because i have all girls

 

[NorthWillRiseAgain]

We have an almost 5 and a freshly turned 3 year old. Both girls. Life has been getting easier as they get older…suppers, bedtimes, traveling, etc. We thought 2 kids was it but have had a change of heart…neither of us could say “no” firmly without any regrets. The goalie has been pulled and we are going for it.

Still freaking out a bit. I’m coming up on 36. Please give me any/all advice on going from 2 to 3 and tell me everything is going to be ok 😂

Going from 3 to 4 at 39 here..

 

[Cornicator]

We have an almost 5 and a freshly turned 3 year old. Both girls. Life has been getting easier as they get older…suppers, bedtimes, traveling, etc. We thought 2 kids was it but have had a change of heart…neither of us could say “no” firmly without any regrets. The goalie has been pulled and we are going for it.

Still freaking out a bit. I’m coming up on 36. Please give me any/all advice on going from 2 to 3 and tell me everything is going to be ok 😂

There is no advice we can give you at this time. You are still about 8 to 10 years away from hell on Earth when those girls turn 13. Prayers.

 

[betsch]

I think #2 is a bigger adjustment than 3. With #1, mom is all over the baby all the time so dad doesn't have as much responsibilities. With #2, #1 gets passed over to dad and he's now in charge. So #3 just means dad gets another one, but you have a helper with you (#1) so its not really that much of a change.

I was in a similar situation, but we debated with #4. We had a 10, 7, and 6 year old and we were 35. We were officially out the diaper, diaper bag, stroller, and all that other shit phase and life was good and getting easy. We decided to go for it and it was the best decision we ever made. I've had as much, or more fun, with #4 as with all the others. And now, 10 years later, he keeps me young. I guarantee I wouldn't do 1/3 of the things I do today if I didn't have him pushing me. And I don't want to be unfair to him, because I did everything with all my other kids, just because I'm "tired and old" now LOL. But really, you won't regret it.

 

[TooTall]

A very wise gentleman told us when we decided for # 2, " Two is great but don't ever let the little bastards out number you!!"

 

[skersker]

Going from 3 to 4 at 39 here..

 

[Baron Winnebago]

I'd imagine it's a highly variable experience based on how old the older 2 are.

 

[RedSeaRising]

I always frame it like this. The most significant adjustment in life is the first kid. Figuring out everything, loss of autonomy, it's obviously an earth shattering change. But eventually you find a rhythm.

The hardest, is 1 to 2. You can take everything you thought you knew and scrap it, because the 2nd will be different in every discernable way from the 1st, and while you're figuring out the new one you also have to keep another child (often a toddler) alive.

Everything after that, is not as hard of a transition, but everything gets less convenient. With 3, you're looking at needing more house, more car, it's harder to get out of the house, etc. Same challenges but experience makes you wiser.

The zone defense transition is real, so for your sanity's sake, you're gonna have to let some shit go. But like with the 2nd you'll eventually find a groove. Just have to find a balance. Don't be too hard on yourself while you're finding it though.

The process is exponentially harder when you do it 4 times before your oldest turns 4 1/2, FWIW

 

[2010sarenevercomingback]

We never really considered a third, and I guess technically it still could've been an option until this week when my wife started listing off all of our infant gear on facebook to donate. We have two boys, oldest will be 4 next week and youngest is 1.5 and I'm pretty confident that they will be crazy enough to keep both of us fully engaged as parents until they move out some day. I think if we could guarantee that the third would be a girl then we both would've been up for it, but the idea of a third little lunatic boy running around the house is pretty scary. That and my wife had pretty bad post partum depression with our second and we're 37/38 makes it probably logical to call and get scheduled for the snip.

We called it after #3. Sold all the baby stuff, got the snip, youngest one was potty trained, and we were tasting independence. I was 40. It was all logical and sensible.

Then, for a variety of reasons (not least of which was my wife having doubts), we decided to jump back in. Even though the previous 3 were often plenty to have us pulling our hair out. Got reversed (there's a good doc in St. Louis who does it pretty cheaply as a ministry), and banged out another one.

We've lost some of that independence, and it's definitely crazier & harder to control things, but I wouldn't trade all the love it added. The other kids have grown - #1 thinks she's a mother, #2 became protective (where he previously preferred to just bash on #3), #3 is so, so proud to be a big brother instead of just the baby. The new little retard is a fat little ham ball with an old man laugh who cracks everyone up.

So while you gotta make the right decision for your family, just don't get pressured into stopping just because it's "smart."

 

[iruletheskool]

I always frame it like this. The most significant adjustment in life is the first kid. Figuring out everything, loss of autonomy, it's obviously an earth shattering change. But eventually you find a rhythm.

The hardest, is 1 to 2. You can take everything you thought you knew and scrap it, because the 2nd will be different in every discernable way from the 1st, and while you're figuring out the new one you also have to keep another child (often a toddler) alive.

Everything after that, is not as hard of a transition, but everything gets less convenient. With 3, you're looking at needing more house, more car, it's harder to get out of the house, etc. Same challenges but experience makes you wiser.

The zone defense transition is real, so for your sanity's sake, you're gonna have to let some shit go. But like with the 2nd you'll eventually find a groove. Just have to find a balance. Don't be too hard on yourself while you're finding it though.

The process is exponentially harder when you do it 4 times before your oldest turns 4 1/2, FWIW

4 under 5 here too.. everything during awake hours is busy, but we manage well.. most days

 

[kevost]

Yall are nuts. We’ve got one that will be 2 next month and a 4.5 month old. Can’t seem to time up the nights they both sleep through the night. When the baby does the older has a night terror or gas or some shit. I’m tired and we still haven’t decided quite yet to get the snip. Just turned 37 and we are going to give it a full year before deciding. The almost 2 year old is the sweetest and also sassiest ever. Until she gets around other kids she doesn’t know then just shuts up and watches. Very funny. The baby is great. Look at her and all she does is smile. If we knew we could have a boy we might try for a 3rd. All up in the air. Good luck. Little bastards are expensive.

 

[RedSeaRising]

4 under 5 here too.. everything during awake hours is busy, but we manage well.. most days

We're surviving. Not thriving currently. But surviving. Gets easier as time goes on. Wife just broke fractured her foot in several places and has some ligament damage. Stuff like that is when shit really hits the fan

 

[betsch]

Yall are nuts. We’ve got one that will be 2 next month and a 4.5 month old. Can’t seem to time up the nights they both sleep through the night. When the baby does the older has a night terror or gas or some shit. I’m tired and we still haven’t decided quite yet to get the snip. Just turned 37 and we are going to give it a full year before deciding. The almost 2 year old is the sweetest and also sassiest ever. Until she gets around other kids she doesn’t know then just shuts up and watches. Very funny. The baby is great. Look at her and all she does is smile. If we knew we could have a boy we might try for a 3rd. All up in the air. Good luck. Little bastards are expensive.

The best thing you can do is have like 5 more in a row bam, bam, bam. Or just do triplets or something like that. Hope that helps.

 

[That SOB Van Owen]

Shit I’m 35 have a 10 year old daughter and I’m snipped. No more for me.

 

[HuskerPAC]

All good responses.

My biggest thing is house size (3 bedroom so someone is sharing), vehicle upgrades (2 row 4Runner and 3 row Telluride currently), and just finances/logistics…all things my wife doesn’t consider. But we can manage all those financially, it’s just stressful to think about.

Sorry for anyone that has had trouble getting pregnant in this thread and has dealt with miscarriages. We had a miscarriage on our first pregnancy. After that we were lucky and blessed with easy pregnancies (both getting pregnant and how my wife carried them).

I know our older girls will be great help. God help me if we have a 3rd girl. But just pray for healthy not for gender.

We will see if I can get another to stick.

 

[HuskerGarrett]

I’ve got two boys and don’t plan on having any more. Seems stressful

 

[2010sarenevercomingback]

I’ve got two boys and don’t plan on having any more. Seems stressful