Breaking ***TPB Exclusive: Scrote Stats***

[Baron Winnebago]

15 days

Reflection on Loss 15: Cockeye 27 Nebraska 24 2019

Welcome to the 2019 season where there were no problems with special teams and the Chinfense wasn't getting gashed by stretch plays regularly. Just kidding. Cockeye ran 18 plays for 191 yards in the first quarter and Tyler Goodson had a field day early. Chin got it under control after that but special teams giving up a kick return TD to immediately take the momentum back after Nebraska had a pick 6 capped Nebraska's first half momentum. A 14 point rally to tie the game in the 3rd quarter was followed by 4 straight punts and Cockeye with timely clutch completions got Keith Duncan in field goal range to ice the game.

Scrote Stat #15: As the 2019 season drew to a close there was an almost inescapable reminder of Coach Scrote's incompetence as a coach and probably as a lover: Husker legacy and LSU QB and eventual Heisman trophy and national champion Joseph Lee Burrow. Now I'm not going to pretend that Burrow would have been as productive throwing from his back in Lincoln as he ended up being at LSU, but did you know that Joe Burrow passed for more yards in two seasons in the Bayou than Adrian Martinez did in 4 at Nebraska? Did you also know that in Burrow's first season in the Bayou he threw for more TDs than Martinez in his final 3 seasons at Nebraska (not combined)? But I'll leave it to you to determine if he would have been better than what we had.

 

[Baron Winnebago]

14 days

Reflection on Loss #14. Wisconsin 37 Nebraska 21. 2019

The good news was that Coach Scrote figured out how to move the ball against the vaunted Badger defense with Dedrick Mills going for 188 on the ground. The bad news is that the Chinfense did little to slow down Jonathan Taylor on his way to 200+ yard day against a depleted Nebraska DL and Jack Coan did just enough through the air for the Badgers to walk to an easy victory.

Scrote Stat #16: Fans of Coach Scrote like to point to the Chinfense as a success story of the Scrote era. And compared to the Scrotefense this makes quite a bit of sense as there are very few games that the Chinfense actively loses for the Big Red something that can't be said for offense and special teams. However, if Coach Scrote gets to own Chin's successes, he also has to own his failures so today's stat is 3. As in, for all 3 games of the Coach Scrote era Wisconsin has had a player run for 200+ yards, which is probably not a recipe for winning the division any time soon

 

[Baron Winnebago]

13 days

Reflection on Loss #13: Purdookie 31 Nebraska 27. 2019.

The worst part of doing this critically acclaimed series is not reliving the gut wrenching losses, but it's been revisiting the historical punching bags who have repeatedly gotten one (or more) over on Coach Scrote and the boys. This loss returns us to a bygone era where above average DC Chin was set up to be the fall guy for Scrote's lack of success in the first 2 seasons. If memory serves correctly this is the game where Adrian lost like 17 yards throwing behind a guy on a screen/swing pass, but that probably characterizes his play in lots of games. What I am sure of though is that Purdookie tagged the Chinfense all day with easy completions and moved the ball basically at will and the Purdoodoo offensive staff openly clowning Coach Chin's call on the play that conceded the game losing touchdown. Any way you slice it losing to Purdookie always tastes like dookie.

Scrote Stat #17: Dr. Tom was at the helm of the Big Red for 25 years leading to one of the most glorious runs in college football history. In thos 25 season, Dr. Tom dropped a grand total 23 conference games. In approximately 3.5 season Coach Scrote has dropped 25 conference games. Now I know they play more conference games now, but yikes

 

[Baron Winnebago]

12 days

Reflection on Loss #12: Indianus 38 Nebraska 31. 2019.

"After a few years of not going, we're back bowling!" Scott Frost. Lol JK it was Tom Allen probably. The Sploogiers handed the Noah Vedral led Cornhuskers a loss as the Big Red offense never got going. Lol JK again



Nebraska's first 3 possessions proved to be a microcosm of the Coach Scrote era. TD, fumble, missed field goal. Then a shanked punt and another fumble gave Indianus two relatively short fields for two second half TDs and that was about all she wrote. Nebraska outgained the Sploogiers on the day and still lost... surprisingly.

Scrote Stat #18: For reasons I'll never understand there's a belief that Coach Scrote still has a relatively high ceiling despite his performance in Lincoln suggesting there literally isn't a bar that he can clear. But maybe there's something in his 10 wins against P5 opposition that I'm missing

1. 2018 Michigan State (7-6, 5-4 in B1G play)
2. 2018 Minnesota (7-6, 3-6 in B1G play)
3. 2019 Illinois (6-7, 4-5 in B1G play)
4. 2020 Penn State (4-5)
5. 2018 Illinois (4-8, 2-7 in B1G play)
6. 2020 Buttgers (3-6)
7. 2021 Northwestern (currently 3-9, 1-8 in B1G play)
8. 2020 Purdoodoo (2-4)
9. 2019 Maryland (3-9, 1-8 in B1G play)
10. 2019 Northwestern (3-9, 1-8 in B1G play)

But I doubt it. Who knows maybe Coach Scrote will finally clear that bar

 

[Baron Winnebago]

11 days.

Reflection on Loss 11. Minnesota 34 Nebraska 7. 2019.

Guys. I love all of you like family, but I genuinely am not going to waste my time beyond calling this one Gaped by The Goofers. Pee Pants and the boys opened the game with 34 unanswered leaning heavily on stretch plays (pun strongly intended) in an absolute route of Coach Scrote boys.

Scrote Stat #19: according to offtackleempire who I shamelessly stole several of the last stats from :

• Scott Frost has only 1 more win against B1G teams at Nebraska than Charlie Weis did in 5 seasons at Notre Dame. Reminder for those of you who have forgotten, but Notre Dame does not play a full B1G schedule.

High ceiling indeed

 

[Kaladin]

@Baron Winnebago you gonna feel so dumb when Frost wins 11+ game this year and takes us to the Rose Bowl

 

[Baron Winnebago]

@Baron Winnebago you gonna feel so dumb when Frost wins 11+ game this year and takes us to the Rose Bowl

Yeah I'm going to be so pissed when Nebraska wins 11 games.

 

[Kaladin]

Yeah I'm going to be so pissed when Nebraska wins 11 games.

Who said anything about you being pissed

I said you gonna feel dumb

 

[Baron Winnebago]

Who said anything about you being pissed

I said you gonna feel dumb

It checks out

 

[Kaladin]

It checks out

I checked out your mom once

Fat juicy ass

Now I’m drinking a Sprite Zero (from a can of course, I don’t trust people who drink pop from a bottle)

 

[Baron Winnebago]

10 days

Reflection on Loss #10: Ohio State 48 Nebraska 7.

There's almost nothing to say. Ohio State stomped a mudhole in Frost's candy ass and that's that.

Scrote Stat #20: Nebraska has played Ohio State 4 times since HC Scrote has taken over and I believe they've made them punt a grand total of 11 times. Now I have no hope of Coach Scrote ever winning the division but if Turd will retain him at 3 wins maybe...

So maybe we assume that Kirk, Paul, PJ, Jeff, and Beefy Bart get sick of stretching Frost's orifices sometime in the next 10-15 years and let him win enough to play the Buttguys in a conference championship game, I'm gonna take a gander than he's gonna need to get more than 2.5 stops out of the Chinfense to get a dub. But maybe I'm an idiot

 

[Jim14510]

Was it last two years and first year of Frost that they hadn't punted at all? Or just one year of Riley?

 

[Baron Winnebago]

Was it last two years and first year of Frost that they hadn't punted at all? Or just one year of Riley?

Last year of Riley they didn't punt.

Punted 4 times in 18
Punted 1 time late in the 3rd in 19
Punted 2 times in 20 (double the amount of incompletions Fields had)
Punted 4 times in 2021

So 11 times in 5 years. Dunno where I got the extra 5 from

 

[Baron Winnebago]

9 days.

Reflection on Loss #9: Colorado 34 Nebraska 31 2019.

I believe Coach Scrote told us that this thing would really take off in year 2. That turned out to be shortlived with a trip out to play former Big 8 rival and exceptional mediocre football program the Colorado Buffaloes. Nebraska jumped out to a 17-0 lead and the Chinfense gave up a grand total of 66 yards before halftime. Frost's BBC daddy Mel Tucker made some halftime adjustments and forced 3 straight punts after halftime to keep the Puffalos in the game and CU outscored the Big Red 31-14 in the second half to send the game to OT. Isaac Armstrong shanked a 48 yard field goal in OT and CU kicked one to hand Coach Scrote his first loss of the 2019 campaign. This game featured 3 Adrian Martinez turnovers.

Scrote Stat #21: Nebraska and Colorado don't meet as often as they used to and Nebraska holds a 29 game advantage over the Puffalos in the all time series. Doc Tom lost back to back to Colorado once in his career in 1989-90 but CU was ranked 3 and 9 respectively. Frank Solich also lost back to back to CU once in his career with the Puffs ranked 13 and 14. Coach Scrote to his credit has only lost once back to back to the Puffs but they were unrated both times making him the first Nebraska coach since you guessed it Wild Bill Jennings to drop back to back matchups to our unranked pot fiend neighbors to the west

 

[slattimer]

I would like to submit to @HuskerGarrett that just like Cockeye, anytime Buffaloes is typed, it reverts to "the Fluffaloes."

Thank you.

 

[HuskerGarrett]

I would like to submit to @HuskerGarrett that just like Cockeyes, anytime Buffaloes is typed, it reverts to "the Fluffaloes."

Thank you.

I’m on it

 

[Baron Winnebago]

8 days.

Reflection on Loss #8: Cockeye 31 Nebraska 28. 2018.

We're back to the maiden voyage of the USS Scrote. After starting the season an embarrassing 0-6 (more on that later), Coach Scrote went 4-1 and looked to be getting the train on track. Nebraska rallied to tie the game in the second half with a short Adrian Martinez touchdown run and a 2 point conversion pass to Kade Warner. But sadly, Cockeye leaning on the Big Red defense all day with the run game paid big dividends at the end with the Cockeyes running it down the field for the game winning field goal. Very sad.


Scrote Stat #22: *Baron turns on Closing Time by Semisonic*. The 4th quarter separates the men from the boys. When the clock is running down and the game is on the line teams either rise to the occasion and close that sumbich out under the pressure. And in the 2018 season, Coach Scrote's boys came to play in the final quarter averaging 8.9 points good for 23rd in the nation. Since then, Nebraska has finished 64th, 121st, and 79th at 4th quarter scoring. Oof

 

[Baron Winnebago]

7 days.

Reflection on Loss #7: Ohio State 36 Nebraska 31. 2018.

Hot damn. We've made it back to when I even felt that a moral victory could be construed as progress. I mean some of you have held onto that 3 years past expiration but we all make mistakes. I should contextualize my moral victories comment just to make it clear to even the dumbest among you (Jim) that losing close is unacceptable in Lincoln. In two games against the Buttguys, Mike Riley lost twice allowing 117 points and scoring 17 points.so sure, Coach Scrote lost and Nebraska couldn't stop Ohio State on the ground, but they made life a bit harder for Haskins. The Big Red came out of the shoe with an L, but one that felt like less shitty.

Scrote #23: As you all might have expected, I'm running low on funny/gut wrenching statistics as we get into the home stretch of Scrote Stats. With that said, rumors about Coach Scrote's personal life has set the Big Red Online Universe ablaze. How many cart girls has he impregnated? Does he sneak a Gate 25 bartender in at halftime for a beejer? What's with this throuple situation in Phoenix? But that said, did you know that according to a university of colarado study from the Journal of Family Psychology, 21% of men report having an affair with an overwhelming 80% of those having the affair with a close friend or coworker. This means that statistically, there's a 4.2% chance that Frost had an affair with a bartender or cart girl he didn't know ahead of time. Now we all know he's in the bottom 4.2% of currently employed HCs but what are the chances of both being true?

 

[Baron Winnebago]

6 days

Reflection on Loss #6: Northwestern 34 Nebraska 31 OT, 2018.

Before I take you on this joyous walk down memory lane, I'm going to show you a picture.



Coach Scrote was riding low on a 5 game losing streak, but that was going to come to an end when Barrett Pickering knocked through a field goal to give the big Red a 10 point lead with 5:41 remaining in the game. NW proceeded to drive down to kick a field goal to bring it back into a possession game and Nebraska followed up with a 3 and out running virtually no time off the clock but an Isaac Armstrong punt to the Northwestern 1 put the Huskers in prime position to close out the W. But today (or really any day) was not Coach Scrote's day. Northwestern marches 99 yards with no time outs in under 2 minutes to send the game to OT. An Adrian Martinez interception in OT put Northwestern in position to complete the improbable comeback with just and field goal and they'd do it handing Coach Scrote his 6th consecutive loss to open his tenure.

If you wanted to point to a single game that summarizes Adrian Martinez's career this is probably it. He had an interception deep in NW territory, an interception to effectively lose the game in OT, and a fumble that was scoop and scored.

Scrote Stat #24: Coach Scrote keeps setting records. 0-6 was the worst start in school history surpassing the 0-3 start from the 1945 Bugeater squad. And in the 2021 campaign Coach Scrote tied Bill Jennings 1957 squad for the most losses in a single season with 9. Now the big red effectively returns a bag of dicks in the trenches this season and Ty Robinson, you cool. So can Coach Scrote make history again with either an 0-7 start or 10 losses? Only time will tell

 

[Jim14510]

6 days

Reflection on Loss #6: Northwestern 34 Nebraska 31 OT, 2018.

Before I take you on this joyous walk down memory lane, I'm going to show you a picture.

View attachment 12902

Coach Scrote was riding low on a 5 game losing streak, but that was going to come to an end when Barrett Pickering knocked through a field goal to give the big Red a 10 point lead with 5:41 remaining in the game. NW proceeded to drive down to kick a field goal to bring it back into a possession game and Nebraska followed up with a 3 and out running virtually no time off the clock but an Isaac Armstrong punt to the Northwestern 1 put the Huskers in prime position to close out the W. But today (or really any day) was not Coach Scrote's day. Northwestern marches 99 yards with no time outs in under 2 minutes to send the game to OT. An Adrian Martinez interception in OT put Northwestern in position to complete the improbable comeback with just and field goal and they'd do it handing Coach Scrote his 6th consecutive loss to open his tenure.

If you wanted to point to a single game that summarizes Adrian Martinez's career this is probably it. He had an interception deep in NW territory, an interception to effectively lose the game in OT, and a fumble that was scoop and scored.

Scrote Stat #24: Coach Scrote keeps setting records. 0-6 was the worst start in school history surpassing the 0-3 start from the 1945 Bugeater squad. And in the 2021 campaign Coach Scrote tied Bill Jennings 1957 squad for the most losses in a single season with 9. Now the big red effectively returns a bag of dicks in the trenches this season and Ty Robinson, you cool. So can Coach Scrote make history again with either an 0-7 start or 10 losses? Only time will tell

Don't forget the bullshit roughing the passer on the last drive to keep it alive. 99.8% of the reason we lost.