Breaking ***TPB Exclusive: Scrote Stats***

[Kaladin]

 

[djw004]

Who is she…the cringe face is kinda hot…

That's Anna from Frozen/Frozen 2.

 

[jw3]

really looking forward to this series. of Scotes 29 losses, at least 25 were bizarre and unusual.

 

[lee_carvallo_12]

really looking forward to this series. of Scotes 29 losses, at least 25 were bizarre and unusual.

yes. 25 of 29 were "rip out your guts, show them to you and then shove them back up your ass" type losses.

 

[Irv]

Who is she…the cringe face is kinda hot…

The great Kristen Bell. All of her faces are hot.

 

[BingoDingo]

The great Kristen Bell. All of her faces are hot.

Institute a new mask mandate because I wanna wear her butt on my face! Awooooga.

 

[BorWhiskey]

When I read the win probability stat I immediately thought of Han Solo. “Never tell me the odds.”

 

[Baron Winnebago]

28 days until kickoff

Reflection on Loss #28: Wisconsin 35, Nebraska 28. November 20, 2021.

Well what is there to say other than Nebraska went toe to toe with the seemingly annual favorite in the Big Ten West and lost after a valiant effort? I mean other than Nebraska never having a win probability greater than about 40%, watching Braelon Allen go for 2.2x their rushing yards by himself, and letting the opening kick get returned for a TD in what I assume Coach Scrote characterizes as a completely idiosyncratic breakdown that has never happened before. If you couldn't see how close we are that day in Madison, you weren't paying attention in the 0 minutes and 0 seconds we led during the game.

Scrote Stat #2: Coach Scrote left Nebraska in 1997 to take his act to the NFL, but how did the Big Ten West fare while he was off breaking necks and cashing checks as a safety in the pros. Here's how Corch Scrote stacks up in winning percentage against coaches at Big Ten West schools since 1997. That is, if he's ranked 5th out of 5, he has the worst winning percentage of all of the coaches at that respective school in the last 25 years.

Nebraska: 5th out of 5
Purdoodoo: 4th out of 5
Minnesota: 6th out of 7
Wisconsin: 5th out of 5
Northwestern: 4th out of 4
Cockeye: 3rd out of 3
Illinois: 2nd out of 6 (Hip, Hip, Hooray!)

 

[Baron Winnebago]

27 days until kickoff

Reflection on Loss #27: Ohio State Nebraska

I have few complaints about this one. Ohio State and their 3-5 first round receivers blowing up the Chinfese was expected. Another game spent playing catch-up all day and not having the horses to do it and an inexplicable Markese Stepp sighting as a pass catcher late in the 4th probably portended the end of Ryan Held, but all in all not a horribly embarrassing afternoon for Coach Scrote. If you're glass half full on Coach, which if you've got a room temperature IQ you're probably not, your note that his boys fought hard despite having almost no chance of winning and I've seen much better teams quit on much better coaches. But that is putting lipstick on a 27 loss pig as they say down at the co-op.


Scrote Stat #3: Coach Scrote is a record setter in basically every way that isn't good. But did you know that Coach Scrote has amassed 2 6 game losing streaks since he took over as the head man at Nebraska in 3.5 short years? To find the next most recent 6 game losing streak, you have to go all the way back to Norman Frost's 1957 team that won a single solitary game. Not to editorialize because this series has been incredible objective, but we replaced that cuck loser with a drinking, swearing SOB named Bob Devaney who made some moves in his time in Lincoln and maybe that tells us something about our future in this current hellscape.

Norman Frost is none other than Bill Jennings.

 

[HuskerDocCo]

did any of you wear a nut cup playin football? I didn’t wear it over my family jewels, but instead used it as a helmet back in the 40’s

 

[Kaladin]

did any of you wear a nut cup playin football? I didn’t wear it over my family jewels, but instead used it as a helmet back in the 40’s

What does this mean

 

[HuskerDocCo]

What does this mean

it means, you stupid sonofabitch, i used to wear a nut cup on my head playin football to protect my noggin !

 

[Kaladin]

it means, you stupid sonofabitch, i used to wear a nut cup on my head playin football to protect my noggin !

But the nut cup must have been so small

How did it protect your noggin

 

[Baron Winnebago]

Guys I don't have the energy to do 25 more of these if like 4 people read them.

 

[Tell_Sackett]

Guys I don't have the energy to do 25 more of these if like 4 people read them.

I feel like this is a valuable public service to appropriately lower expectations and set the bar firmly below sea level where it likely belongs.

 

[Jim14510]

Guys I don't have the energy to do 25 more of these if like 4 people read them.

You have 9 likes on the 2nd post. That has to be a record for you.

 

[MtnHusker]

Guys I don't have the energy to do 25 more of these if like 4 people read them.

I love them. Gives us good information if we ever get into an argument with Saltsdogg, Lars........ or any other TC'er

 

[Kaladin]

Guys I don't have the energy to do 25 more of these if like 4 people read them.

keep in mind that we will probably win 10+ games each year going forward with Coach Frost at the helm

So

 

[Baron Winnebago]

You have 9 likes on the 2nd post. That has to be a record for you.

I don't tell you this enough Jim and I'm truly sorry that I don't, but please eat shit and die.

 

[Baron Winnebago]

Yesterday

Reflection on Loss #26.

Purdookie 28, Nebraska 23, October 30, 2021.

Well the day before Halloween turned out to be a horror show for the Big Red. The chosen one Adrian Martinez threw 4 ints including a pick 6 that helped Purdoodoo improve to 3-1 against coach Scrote. I'd have a more detailed write up of the game, but frankly once you've seen Purdookie take a metaphorical shit on Nebraska once, you've seen them take a metaphorical shit on Nebraska a million times and this was no exception.

Scrote State #4: Coach Scrote has been at the helm of our beloved Big Red for 44 games, but he reached the prestigious 15 win mountain a mere 38 games into his tenure, an achievement that would get most coaches either lifetime job security or shit canned unceremoniously. But did you know that since Bob Devaney took over at Nebraska, every single coach reached the 15 win mark in 25 games or fewer with only Bill Callahan needing into his 3rd season to do so. Yes that right. Even Old Man Riley popped his 15 win cherry late in his 2nd season at the helm.