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OT: Meathead dead

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OT: Meathead dead

All the kids I knew growing up that had major drug issues all came from very wealthy families. Gotta keep your kids busy

I’m probably older than most on here, so the kids I knew in school with drug issues were primarily lower middle class on down. Most had divorced parents and lived with one or the other. The wealthy kids drank. A lot.

Your point about keeping kids busy is accurate though, and I’d expand on that and say ‘busy with something other than video games and electronic entertainment’. Social media is fucking up an entire generation of our young people and negatively impacting older people as well. Make a kid responsible for something, teach them how to do something, help them find physical outdoor focused hobbies and you’ll have a much more well rounded, adaptable adult. Sit him or her alone in their room with video games and chat rooms and you’ll create someone with all kinds of social issues they’ll carry with them for life.
 
I think a big part of the problem is getting people to talk about it if they are having problems. I got a call from my parents a few days ago that nobody likes to get. We have a family that we have been good friends with my entire life, and they called my parents and said their daughter took her own life last week. They said she hid it so well they didn’t know she was having issues, and no KNOWN drug issues. She seemed like she was doing very well in life. The worst part of this is her brother, who I spent many years hunting fishing with, took his own life nearly 10 years ago now. I feel like her parents were just getting to the point where they could talk about him again. Need to get more awareness out about mental health and not make it so taboo to talk about it your having problems so we can prevent the Reiners situation and my friends’.
I DID NOT like the Reiners political stance at all but in cases like this that needs to be put aside. They did not deserve anything like this and I really hope their family can find some peace soon.

It’s not easy to talk about and it’s especially not easy to talk about when the subject is you.

All any of us can do is be supportive, ask questions and listen. Offer help if you’re comfortable doing so and if things get beyond your ability to manage, ask for help outside the family. It’s grossly imperfect, but better than sitting back and hoping things work out.
 
Even when they break the law we don’t lock them up until they kill someone. See the poor girl that was stabbed to death in charlotte

Many times this is the unfortunate truth. But if we do lock them up they can be forced to get treatment within the prison system. After they’ve done something damaging, of course. Ugh
 
I’ve seen a swing an extremely wide range of treatment philosophies over the last thirty years that really runs the gamut. From nearly instant chemical treatment to extreme avoidance of medicines and complete reliance on counseling. Reality is in most cases a combination of both are the answer.

I don’t disagree that the psychological care of forty or fifty years ago is antiquated and does not need to return, but to your point we shouldn’t have to be talking about a violent crime before someone is placed in treatment. It’s a really slippery slope, because there are frequent misdiagnosed patients and people would be ‘treated’ or institutionalized for something they didn’t have or had but weren’t really an issue to society, their families, etc. We’re blending a conversation regarding peoples civil rights and ‘follow the science’ arguments that just don’t always pan out. Forty years ago when I was in college, we were taught about conditions that were considered treatable mental illnesses that now have their own celebrated labels and celebratory months.

I don’t think we’ll ever see a return to forced institutionalization for non violent patients, so like you, I don’t have the answer other than to say it starts in our homes. If we’re going to refuse to address an issue with a loved one, who will address it? If we simply can’t because of how that individual reacts to the conversation, you have to escalate. There are systems in place to address this, but most don’t want to admit their own son, daughter, husband, wife, etc. could do things like this. Schools avoid the issue in most cases and simply work around it or the child, further isolating and alienating the child and putting it back on the family, which is honestly where it belongs. It’s a tough spot to be in, but sometimes you have to be willing to say ‘I can’t fix this’ and get help.

Many times loved ones know their family member needs treatment, but there’s not a damn thing they can do if their family member won’t cooperate. Had a friend commit suicide about 3-4 years ago. Everyone knew he had some serious mental issues, but every time a friend or family tried to bring it up or talk about it with him he would get hostile then separate and isolate himself from anyone who tried to help him.
 
Since we're doing mental health stuff...

My brother in law got into some bad stuff with a trash girlfriend that he had and got super into meth...one day he had a break (drug psychosis) and just went crazy. A ton of us drove up to stay with him and see him (so he didn't hurt himself or others) but he tried several times to get more meth (having dudes come by the house with stuff) and we had to chase them away.

He would go from super calm and thanking everyone for being there with him to absolutely freaking out on everyone in a flash (and he wasn't a small guy). He would go searching through the house for a gun (which we hid) and then the next minute calm again. We'd call the cops during one of those incidents, but he would calm down by the time they got there and they couldn't do anything. We tried to have him committed but couldn't. Every treatment facility within 500 miles said it would be a month before he could get in probably. We tried everything we could.

Finally we got a hospital to put him on a 72 hour hold, but he was about to get out and he attacked a nurse....thank God because that put him on a longer hold and finally got all the drugs out of his system and got on medication. He's been clean ever since and is the nicest freaking dude on the planet and really has his life together (you would never have guessed that he was the same guy). He left that crazy chick, has full custody of both their kids (she's not allowed any contact) and is remarried to a girl that's way better and they have another kid together.

But man, I learned a lot about the legal system and the shambles that is our mental health system in that 7-10 ish days. Bottom line, if an adult isn't willing to get themselves help, there's just nothing you can do. I get why...but what's really frustrating is the lack of beds available anywhere where people can more accurately treat and diagnose people.
 
Since we're doing mental health stuff...

My brother in law got into some bad stuff with a trash girlfriend that he had and got super into meth...one day he had a break (drug psychosis) and just went crazy. A ton of us drove up to stay with him and see him (so he didn't hurt himself or others) but he tried several times to get more meth (having dudes come by the house with stuff) and we had to chase them away.

He would go from super calm and thanking everyone for being there with him to absolutely freaking out on everyone in a flash (and he wasn't a small guy). He would go searching through the house for a gun (which we hid) and then the next minute calm again. We'd call the cops during one of those incidents, but he would calm down by the time they got there and they couldn't do anything. We tried to have him committed but couldn't. Every treatment facility within 500 miles said it would be a month before he could get in probably. We tried everything we could.

Finally we got a hospital to put him on a 72 hour hold, but he was about to get out and he attacked a nurse....thank God because that put him on a longer hold and finally got all the drugs out of his system and got on medication. He's been clean ever since and is the nicest freaking dude on the planet and really has his life together (you would never have guessed that he was the same guy). He left that crazy chick, has full custody of both their kids (she's not allowed any contact) and is remarried to a girl that's way better and they have another kid together.

But man, I learned a lot about the legal system and the shambles that is our mental health system in that 7-10 ish days. Bottom line, if an adult isn't willing to get themselves help, there's just nothing you can do. I get why...but what's really frustrating is the lack of beds available anywhere where people can more accurately treat and diagnose people.

Glad your BIL is doing so well. Most of situations such as his don’t end well. He should be very proud of his progress/transformation. The friend of mine who committed suicide, his family called the authorities on him at least twice that I know of. But in the end he never committed any crimes or directly threatened anyone. Authorities could recommend help and/or assist him in getting help, and they could have a community service officer talk to him and try to convince him to get help. But he refused drug treatment and/or any psychiatric help. Of course he ended up committing suicide and friends and family knew he wasn’t well, but under our ass backwards drug and mental health system there’s nothing anyone can do if the person won’t willingly agree to treatment/help.

Just allowing drug addicted and mentally ill people to destroy themselves because they won’t voluntarily agree to getting help is so wrong. People think (many people) forcing someone into drug or mental treatment is cruel and a violation of personal rights. If you think that is cruel and a violation of rights, then what is letting them destroy themselves and/or hurt someone else? If these people had the capability and/or mental capacity to get themselves help they would’ve never gotten themselves into this deep dark hole.
 
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