Go ahead and utter them here. Just don't attribute the quotes to Jerry and you'll be fine.
High School government/journalism/history teacher, when speaking of the Michael Ryan thing in the area, gave the advice "If you ever get invited to a hoedown in Richardson County, don't go." Pretty good advice IYAM.
Coach Novacek got fired as head varsity football coach because some parents didn't like how colorful his language was on the sidelines of games and at practice. Fast forward exactly one year, and he's hired as an assistant coach for the freshman team.
In his second year in that role, the head frosh coach got fired because he left the frosh volleyball team at the gym in Holdrege so the football team could eat. That damn freshman volleyball match was just taking too long, I guess. So, Coach Novacek was promoted to Head Freshman Football Coach.
I was only four when Bump quarterbacked the Swedes to an undefeated regular season and class B championship game loss to Columbus Scotus, and even younger than that when Jay played. The consensus of their parents was that Bump was most talented, followed by their daughter (name escapes me), then Jay, then their oldest.
But, Bump did hold the state all-class pole vault record for almost 30 years before Brett Maher broke it IIRC. When I graduated, the Pat Novacek coached Bump N, Jay N, and Lenny Ambler were 1, 2, 3 on the all-class top ten.