Not sports specific, but what are some gems you remember from highschool coaches, teachers, or parents?

[hothouse_corn]

I've got a ton, but I'll start with just a pair and see if it goes anywhere so I don't shoot my entire load at once.

I'll start with a few gems from Coach Novacek, father of NFL HOF'er Jay Novacek, who happened to be the third most athletic of Coach's four kids:

"What are you doing playing hacky sack? I thought only queers and derelicts played with those things." -Said to my friend and fellow pole vaulter prior to track practice.​

​

"There are only three ways to run faster. Increase the pace of your stride, increase the length of your stride, or be born black." -Instructions at the beginning of every plyometrics day workout for four years of weight training class.​

​

"Good Luck. You're gonna need it." -Said to the varsity football team as we took the field to warm up for a game against top-three rated, undefeated Cozad with Brendan Holbein and Chris Dishman. (We won. Fuck that guy, but also may he rest in peace. He was my favorite)​

What gems do you remember?

 

[turek420845]

 

[BluesBucksNHuskers]

“Don’t get tired” - Coach McCurdy (Wrestling) at Lincoln East. I was planning on getting tired until his brilliant on the fly strategy change.

 

[hothouse_corn]

“Don’t get tired” - Coach McCurdy (Wrestling) at Lincoln East. I was planning on getting tired until his brilliant on the fly strategy change.

Did you win or get tired, or both?

 

[Goskers07]

I dont remember what words he said, but watching former Husker punter Kyle Larson's dad bodyslam a kid who was fighting outside his classroom was a highlight of high school. You didn't fuck with Mr. Larson.

 

[Faux Sean Callahan]

Sales & marketing teacher in college... He was a retired sales tard who didn't give a fuck. Didn't teach from the book and basically gave war stories about how life really is. He taught me a lot.

On his final he asked us to put together a sales plan to turn in. He then said idc if you go and find targets or another fortune 500 company's then replace their name with yours. It is what you'll do in the real world and you might as well start now.

This is also the same teacher who randomly took off on a Friday to go to New Orleans for St Paddy's day and talked about coke.

Great guy.

 

[hothouse_corn]

It seems like he was a great guy.

Sales & marketing teacher in college... He was a retired sales tard who didn't give a fuck. Didn't teach from the book and basically gave war stories about how life really is. He taught me a lot.

On his final he asked us to put together a sales plan to turn in. He then said idc if you go and find targets or another fortune 500 company's then replace their name with yours. It is what you'll do in the real world and you might as well start now.

This is also the same teacher who randomly took off on a Friday to go to New Orleans for St Paddy's day and talked about coke.

Great guy.

 

[cwessel76]

Jerry Murtaugh had some gems during HS football practices that I dare not utter even here.

 

[Pipe Line]

All juniors at my high school a decade ago had to take government class. My teacher wrote his own final. The guy got a B- on his own final that he wrote and would tell each class that throughout the day. Me and my best friend still joke about it to this day.


My sophomore year History teacher, on a day a week before the final, spend an entire period, gave us the final, and we spent the entire hour long class basically as an open book study guide to each question. Basically if we did it right we had the answers to the final that we all got to take home and study for the next week

 

[BluesBucksNHuskers]

Did you win or get tired, or both?

Probably lost. Don’t remember but if he was saying that I was probably up going into the 3rd period and wore the fuck out. I was a pro at skipping cardio time

 

[Saudi_aurora]

Mrs Roach, Larry, and Mr Craig at Southeast always checking my friends and my Super C coffee cup for that hot cocoa/hot damn 100 mix after lunch during winter. Craig was a dick. Mrs Roach was cool. Larry barely gave a shit.

 

[cwessel76]

In my AP US Government class the tests had multiple choice, short answer, and essay portions. For one of the essay portions my buddy wrote “I have no idea what you are talking about.” The grade in that section: 10/10 points.

When my friend asked the teacher after class why he didn’t give him a zero for that section he said “You were the last test I was grading and I didn’t give a shit by that point.”

 

[Jim14510]

In my AP US Government class the tests had multiple choice, short answer, and essay portions. For one of the essay portions my buddy wrote “I have no idea what you are talking about.” The grade in that section: 10/10 points.

When my friend asked the teacher after class why he didn’t give him a zero for that section he said “You were the last test I was grading and I didn’t give a shit by that point.”

Son is in AP world history this year and that teacher definitely gives a shit. She's a bit over the top iyam.

 

[Jim14510]

In my AP US Government class the tests had multiple choice, short answer, and essay portions. For one of the essay portions my buddy wrote “I have no idea what you are talking about.” The grade in that section: 10/10 points.

When my friend asked the teacher after class why he didn’t give him a zero for that section he said “You were the last test I was grading and I didn’t give a shit by that point.”

Was Clark the Chem teacher when you were there?

 

[God is a Husker]

“Due to global warming Nebraska wont get snow after the year 2015.” — high school chemistry teacher in 2006/7


“Pain is good it means you’re alive.” — high school wrestling coach and new woods shop teacher cuz the old woods shop teacher accidentally cut off another finger and retired



Nobody said Falls City Public Schools are an Ivy feeder

 

[cwessel76]

Son is in AP world history this year and that teacher definitely gives a shit. She's a bit over the top iyam.

I had Hadenfield and he was great.

 

[BluesBucksNHuskers]

“Due to global warming Nebraska wont get snow after the year 2015.” — high school chemistry teacher in 2006/7


“Pain is good it means you’re alive.” — high school wrestling coach and new woods shop teacher cuz the old woods shop teacher accidentally cut off another finger and retired



Nobody said Falls City Public Schools are an Ivy feeder

What a wrestling coach thing to say

 

[Kaladin]

Some of my teammates got in trouble in some off the field stuff and our coach said something along the lines of "if you roll around with the trash you'll come out smelling like shit." Coach got in hot water for saying that. In hindsight he was obviously right.

I did my undergrad at Pickle Smoochers and there is a poli sci professor there named Clark. He's the only decent professor I've ever had. He was in the military and then in the intelligence community, and he always had stories. But he always talked about how his Dad, who was an Air Force officer, was the guy who brought girls in for President Kennedy to screw. He also talked about what it was like to live during the Cuban missile crisis. He asked his Dad what was going to happen, and his Dad told him they were all going to die or something like that.

Nowadays most college professors go to high school, go to undergrad, go to grad school, and then teach. They spend their entire lives inside the bubble of academia and have no real life experience. Not many interesting professors anymore.

 

[God is a Husker]

What a wrestling coach thing to say

he was also always the lunch room monitor for all 3 lunch periods

usually teachers would just be a monitor for 1 period, he volunteered for all 3 just to make watch what we (wrestlers) ate/drank


Everybody on the basketball team getting an extra milk and some little Debbie snacks after eating a full lunch while most of the wrestling team starves under the watchful eye of Sauron.

 

[God is a Husker]

Some of my teammates got in trouble in some off the field stuff and our coach said something along the lines of "if you roll around with the trash you'll come out smelling like shit." Coach got in hot water for saying that. In hindsight he was obviously right.

I did my undergrad at Pickle Smoochers and there is a poli sci professor there named Clark. He's the only decent professor I've ever had. He was in the military and then in the intelligence community, and he always had stories. But he always talked about how his Dad, who was an Air Force officer, was the guy who brought girls in for President Kennedy to screw. He also talked about what it was like to live during the Cuban missile crisis. He asked his Dad what was going to happen, and his Dad told him they were all going to die or something like that.

Nowadays most college professors go to high school, go to undergrad, go to grad school, and then teach. They spend their entire lives inside the bubble of academia and have no real life experience. Not many interesting professors anymore.

Same exact thing for Law school


I’d say only 25% of my professors ever actually practiced.