My brother the sociopath (TLDR at the bottom) - A thread for Kaladin

[betsch]

So,

I have had plenty of family drama. My upbringing is one that wouldn't be described as stable. My mom died giving birth to me and my dad wasn't in the picture at all. I was raised by my aunt and uncle. They were famers who lived in a secluded area a long way from anything important. I worked on that farm for my entire early life although I had an agreement that once I reached and certain age and the farm was more technologically efficient I could leave to pursue something more exciting. Days were hot and nights were boring. Until one day some of our newly purchased farm equipment was malfunctioning and I was tasked with rectifying the situation. I wasn't far from home but I did drift into an area where the locals didn't appreciate my presence. Luckily before anything terrible could happen this old man comes by to get me out of that jam with the locals. Turns out this old guy knew my uncle and .....my dad. I spent some time talking with him and decided to head back home only to discover that my aunt and uncle had been murdered, while I was gone, by the government. Having no reason to stay and every reason to leave I went with the old man, who turns out to be a wizard BTW, to the closest port city looking for a ticket out of town. See the old man had been contacted by this politician's daughter and she asked him to help her deliver some information to a group of friends she was unable to directly contact herself. She was also in trouble with the government. So we hit a few bars in the port town looking for a ride on somebody's ship. We drink, we try to mingle and we end up in a bar fight in which the old man wins hands down. We do end up finding a ship to hop on and away we go. In talking with the old man he starts recruiting me to his religion and showing some of it's tenants. Turns out there is some MMA involved along with a warrior monk philosophy tinged with some sort of voodoo which I don't understand right away.


You guys are probably bored so I'll just leave it there for now.

That sucks man. May the force be with you.

 

[doublewing]

So,

I have had plenty of family drama. My upbringing is one that wouldn't be described as stable. My mom died giving birth to me and my dad wasn't in the picture at all. I was raised by my aunt and uncle. They were famers who lived in a secluded area a long way from anything important. I worked on that farm for my entire early life although I had an agreement that once I reached and certain age and the farm was more technologically efficient I could leave to pursue something more exciting. Days were hot and nights were boring. Until one day some of our newly purchased farm equipment was malfunctioning and I was tasked with rectifying the situation. I wasn't far from home but I did drift into an area where the locals didn't appreciate my presence. Luckily before anything terrible could happen this old man comes by to get me out of that jam with the locals. Turns out this old guy knew my uncle and .....my dad. I spent some time talking with him and decided to head back home only to discover that my aunt and uncle had been murdered, while I was gone, by the government. Having no reason to stay and every reason to leave I went with the old man, who turns out to be a wizard BTW, to the closest port city looking for a ticket out of town. See the old man had been contacted by this politician's daughter and she asked him to help her deliver some information to a group of friends she was unable to directly contact herself. She was also in trouble with the government. So we hit a few bars in the port town looking for a ride on somebody's ship. We drink, we try to mingle and we end up in a bar fight in which the old man wins hands down. We do end up finding a ship to hop on and away we go. In talking with the old man he starts recruiting me to his religion and showing some of it's tenants. Turns out there is some MMA involved along with a warrior monk philosophy tinged with some sort of voodoo which I don't understand right away.


You guys are probably bored so I'll just leave it there for now.

Sorry about your aunt and uncle.

 

[Jim14510]

I’m going Wednesday morning, Anglers club outside of Fremont. But this is only the 4th or 5th time I’ve gotten out. Too busy at work, too fucking tired when I’m not at work.

Jesus fuck, I sound old…

I haven't been to Fremont lakes yet this year. Any good?

 

[Dawgsauce]

I have a crazy extended family. A few have been in jail attempted murder, theft, drugs, etc. An aunt that tried to get married to my cousin (sisters son) before a sibling called and told the court or whoever they were related.

No problems with my immediate family though.

Your Aunt's sister's son? I solved the riddle. You and your aunt ever go out after this, or was this the end?

 

[HuskerGarrett]

The details of my life are quite inconsequential. Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

 

[V-Doub]

i don't get it, how did you find out that he was a wizard

Because he told him, duh. Old men can’t lie about being a wizard. That’s the code…

 

[V-Doub]

The details of my life are quite inconsequential. Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

True story…

 

[V-Doub]

I haven't been to Fremont lakes yet this year. Any good?

Eh… no, not really. Last time I fished the state lakes was earlier this summer. We caught 3 bass and a sunburn. I suppose you catch the right lake at the right time you might have a nice day. Honestly, the Latinos keep all the bass they catch and they’ve overrun the state lakes, especially on the weekend. I get that bass are good to eat, a lot people think we throw them back cause they don’t taste good. Lol Nevertheless, I hadn’t seen anyone keep a bass in 20+ years, but now the Latinos keep everything they catch.

 

[Dawgsauce]

The details of my life are quite inconsequential. Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.

 

[TampaBaySkers]

I have a crazy extended family. A few have been in jail attempted murder, theft, drugs, etc. An aunt that tried to get married to my cousin (sisters son) before a sibling called and told the court or whoever they were related.

No problems with my immediate family though.

That’s because your wife is also your sister.

 

[Jim14510]

That’s because your wife is also your sister.

Twice removed. Doesn't count.

 

[Kaladin]

Eh… no, not really. Last time I fished the state lakes was earlier this summer. We caught 3 bass and a sunburn. I suppose you catch the right lake at the right time you might have a nice day. Honestly, the Latinos keep all the bass they catch and they’ve overrun the state lakes, especially on the weekend. I get that bass are good to eat, a lot people think we throw them back cause they don’t taste good. Lol Nevertheless, I hadn’t seen anyone keep a bass in 20+ years, but now the Latinos keep everything they catch.

Cultural enrichment