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Have you ever spent a bunch of time helping a friend for free and they just shit all over you (1 Viewer)

Baron Winnebago

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I also don't have a right to expect someone to do something for me for free, especially if there is an agreement in place regarding employment. To do otherwise would be immoral. It's the expectation by OP that his friend would do the right thing that lead to his current state of suffering/being pissed. Had OP gone into this without any expectation for behavior or reward on the part of his friend, which is what the verse is instructing, then he wouldn't be surprised when his friend shits on him and therefore wouldn't have a reason to be pissed.

Or something.
Who died and made you Alan Fiske?
 

jaihawk

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I also don't have a right to expect someone to do something for me for free, especially if there is an agreement in place regarding employment. To do otherwise would be immoral. It's the expectation by OP that his friend would do the right thing that lead to his current state of suffering/being pissed. Had OP gone into this without any expectation for behavior or reward on the part of his friend, which is what the verse is instructing, then he wouldn't be surprised when his friend shits on him and therefore wouldn't have a reason to be pissed.

Or something.

1719508037065.png
 

Kaladin

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Favor for a friend is different than a paycheck.

What was said up front opee? Did you say "don't worry about it. I'll take care of it for you."? Or more along the lines of "I'll see if I can help." It certainly couldn't have been "I'll do my best to keep the fees down but I am going to charge you." Which is what you should have said if you expected something in return.

That's assuming it was legal services.

If not legal services then you'd have to more fully explain the situation for a real answer.
I said I’d help him pro bono, which was clearly a mistake, as it seems to have incentivized him and enabled him to act like a total dumbshit, hence my comment about never doing anything for free

He had a custody case in Douglas County with the most pro joint custody judge in the county and he was pretty much guaranteed to get joint custody, even child support paid to him, all he had to do was just...sit and do nothing for a few months, exercise his 50/50 parenting time and drop his kids off at daycare. And instead he went on a three month bender and completely torpedoed his case in the most ridiculous ways possible, all because he just couldn't get over the fact that his baby momma broke up with him, and he wanted to get back at her

And the entire time he ignored my counsel, did what he wanted, provided me with no information that would help his case, and wasted a god awful amount of my time trying to fight with his ex over the stupidest petty bullshit, as well as other BS that he pulled

Then he went over into another county and fucked up his custody situation with the mother of his other kids, so I've had to deal with that

I'm just pissy about all of the time I've wasted. The whole thing should have been over in a month
 

Kaladin

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I said I’d help him pro bono, which was clearly a mistake, as it seems to have incentivized him and enabled him to act like a total dumbshit, hence my comment about never doing anything for free

He had a custody case in Douglas County with the most pro joint custody judge in the county and he was pretty much guaranteed to get joint custody, even child support paid to him, all he had to do was just...sit and do nothing for a few months, exercise his 50/50 parenting time and drop his kids off at daycare. And instead he went on a three month bender and completely torpedoed his case in the most ridiculous ways possible, all because he just couldn't get over the fact that his baby momma broke up with him, and he wanted to get back at her

And the entire time he ignored my counsel, did what he wanted, provided me with no information that would help his case, and wasted a god awful amount of my time trying to fight with his ex over the stupidest petty bullshit, as well as other BS that he pulled

Then he went over into another county and fucked up his custody situation with the mother of his other kids, so I've had to deal with that

I'm just pissy about all of the time I've wasted. The whole thing should have been over in a month
i should also add the he lied to me repeatedly, which made things even more difficult
 

Huskers633

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I said I’d help him pro bono, which was clearly a mistake, as it seems to have incentivized him and enabled him to act like a total dumbshit, hence my comment about never doing anything for free

He had a custody case in Douglas County with the most pro joint custody judge in the county and he was pretty much guaranteed to get joint custody, even child support paid to him, all he had to do was just...sit and do nothing for a few months, exercise his 50/50 parenting time and drop his kids off at daycare. And instead he went on a three month bender and completely torpedoed his case in the most ridiculous ways possible, all because he just couldn't get over the fact that his baby momma broke up with him, and he wanted to get back at her

And the entire time he ignored my counsel, did what he wanted, provided me with no information that would help his case, and wasted a god awful amount of my time trying to fight with his ex over the stupidest petty bullshit, as well as other BS that he pulled

Then he went over into another county and fucked up his custody situation with the mother of his other kids, so I've had to deal with that

I'm just pissy about all of the time I've wasted. The whole thing should have been over in a month

i should also add the he lied to me repeatedly, which made things even more difficult
YARN | Love, it's a motherfucker. | Old School (2003) | Video clips by  quotes | 665231bd | 紗
 

herbsinator

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I said I’d help him pro bono, which was clearly a mistake, as it seems to have incentivized him and enabled him to act like a total dumbshit, hence my comment about never doing anything for free

He had a custody case in Douglas County with the most pro joint custody judge in the county and he was pretty much guaranteed to get joint custody, even child support paid to him, all he had to do was just...sit and do nothing for a few months, exercise his 50/50 parenting time and drop his kids off at daycare. And instead he went on a three month bender and completely torpedoed his case in the most ridiculous ways possible, all because he just couldn't get over the fact that his baby momma broke up with him, and he wanted to get back at her

And the entire time he ignored my counsel, did what he wanted, provided me with no information that would help his case, and wasted a god awful amount of my time trying to fight with his ex over the stupidest petty bullshit, as well as other BS that he pulled

Then he went over into another county and fucked up his custody situation with the mother of his other kids, so I've had to deal with that

I'm just pissy about all of the time I've wasted. The whole thing should have been over in a month
Where you really fucked is deciding it’d be a good idea to be a litigator.
 

Cornicator

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I once had a roommate, that I would've considered one of my best friends at the time. There were 4 of us living in a house. He came to us one day and said that he needed to move back to his parents house for financial reasons. We told him that was fine and within a few days we had another guy wanting to move in, in his place, so no big deal. A week or two later, he moves out.

3 days later our internet and cable through Time Warner gets shut off. Well each of us had a separate bill in our name. Each month we would give each other money to pay each bill. One of my roommates and myself go down to Time Warner to see why our shit is shut off and to put my name on our bill. Well it turns out this guy that moved out a few days before had just been taking our money and not paying the bill. This went on for months before they shut us off. Our regular bill was a little over $100 but over $700 was owed and they wouldn't turn anything back on until it was paid.

Naturally, we got on the phone with this dude and had a huge blowout. He eventually paid us all back the money we had given him for Time Warner all those months. But he was essentially dead to us.

Years later I was playing in a 7 v 7 soccer league he was in. Different teams. Slowly we started chatting, and eventually I told him I was over what he had done and that he and I were good in my eyes. However, some things you just can't go back on I guess. We never became friends again, which is fine. I haven't seen or spoke to that guy in over 10 years.


I think your story is probably very common. I have friends from high school who became roommates at UNL and now won't talk to each other 20+ years later because of shit that went down over money.

It likely never started as an intentional ploy to screw you over.
 

Kaladin

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Where you really fucked is deciding it’d be a good idea to be a litigator.
i know

should have worked as a personal trainer/nutritionist/health coach and then gone to medical school at the same time. i could be a doctor and have a lucrative health coaching business right now. probably could have opened 10 med spas by now and be making god knows how much money

instead i go to work in the morning and open up my email and read frantic emails from neurotic clients asking if they should close their netflix account during their divorce and what the repurcussions will be if they do

Channel 5 Life GIF by All Creatures Great And Small
 

Kaladin

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I think your story is probably very common. I have friends from high school who became roommates at UNL and now won't talk to each other 20+ years later because of shit that went down over money.

It likely never started as an intentional ploy to screw you over.
i'm not even mad about the money (though i've could have billed over 40+ hours on his case = $12,000+ in attorney fees)

i'm just pissed about the amount of time i've wasted on his bullshit
 

Cornicator

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I said I’d help him pro bono, which was clearly a mistake, as it seems to have incentivized him and enabled him to act like a total dumbshit, hence my comment about never doing anything for free

He had a custody case in Douglas County with the most pro joint custody judge in the county and he was pretty much guaranteed to get joint custody, even child support paid to him, all he had to do was just...sit and do nothing for a few months, exercise his 50/50 parenting time and drop his kids off at daycare. And instead he went on a three month bender and completely torpedoed his case in the most ridiculous ways possible, all because he just couldn't get over the fact that his baby momma broke up with him, and he wanted to get back at her

And the entire time he ignored my counsel, did what he wanted, provided me with no information that would help his case, and wasted a god awful amount of my time trying to fight with his ex over the stupidest petty bullshit, as well as other BS that he pulled

Then he went over into another county and fucked up his custody situation with the mother of his other kids, so I've had to deal with that

I'm just pissy about all of the time I've wasted. The whole thing should have been over in a month


That's really awful. On a side note, I live in Johnson County, KS, and the Court Trustee's office down here treats even good dads like SHIT. So I get pretty annoyed when I hear about a guy who isn't taking care of his kids because its those assholes that fuel the narrative suggesting dad's don't want to take care of their kids.
 

Jim14510

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instead i go to work in the morning and open up my email and read frantic emails from neurotic clients asking if they should close their netflix account during their divorce and what the repurcussions will be if they do
I wouldn't suggest family law to someone I completely despised. Dealing with so few rational humans.
 

Kaladin

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That's really awful. On a side note, I live in Johnson County, KS, and the Court Trustee's office down here treats even good dads like SHIT. So I get pretty annoyed when I hear about a guy who isn't taking care of his kids because its those assholes that fuel the narrative suggesting dad's don't want to take care of their kids.
he's not a bad dad (i don't think, anyway), but i'm starting to think that he has borderline personality disorder or something, which makes sense when I consider some of his behavior over the past 25 years

most of the judges in the Omaha area are pro joint custody. i think the areas outside of Omaha are still pretty pro-mom, but i assume that over the course of the next 20 years that will change
 

Kaladin

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I wouldn't suggest family law to someone I completely despised. Dealing with so few rational humans.
i really do believe that people have become more and more neurotic and difficult to deal with over the past few years which has made family law an even shittier area to work in

i'm gradually moving over to estate planning/probate, which seems less tiresome. though i'll probably get out of this profession entirely within the next 3-5 years
 

LoudHogRider

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i should also add the he lied to me repeatedly, which made things even more difficult
I hate liars. And thieves. I need to befriend Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos so that my new bestie can help me round all of the aforementioned scumbags and load them on to rockets, then fire them into the sun.
 

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