Advice for Girl-Dads

[kenyanfeline]

I know there’s a ton of you on here and was just doing some reflecting while drinking my morning coffee. I’m specifically talking to dads of girls ages 1-16.

First of all, this is going to sound like off-the-wall, ridiculous advice. If you’re a girl-dad, your knee jerk reaction is going to be to throw up. It’s going to take a few minutes to soak in. If you’re not a girl dad, just stop reading. You won’t understand. You’ll judge us girl-dads. You’ll think we’re giant pussies. Maybe you’re right but it’s part of the job.

Ok, so here’s the advice: take an interest in woman’s college basketball.

I know what you’re thinking. “Worst advice ever.”“Who the fuck is this guy?” “Bannable offense.” Hear me out.

I’m operating under a couple assumptions.

1. You love your daughter
2. You want the best for her
3. You love sports
4. You want her to play sports and love sports
5. You don’t want her to become a dancer and have to follow her to competitions all over the country
6. You absolutely under no circumstances want her to become a girls wrestler (fastest growing sport in the country, gross).

Now, with those assumptions in mind, the best thing you can do is swallow your pride and at least pretend to take an interest in woman’s college basketball.

My daughter (7) was going down the dark path of competitive dance and joined a singing group. There was even talk about letting her go to a girls wrestling camp. It was draining my wallet and making my wife act like a lunatic. And worst of all, I hate all of those things. Did I want 12 more years of that torture? No.

About a year ago during the Woman’s NCAA tourney, I had this hunch. I made the bold decision to dedicate myself to pretending to be interested in woman’s college basketball. Was it going to be easy? No. Was I going to be faking it a lot? Yes. Do I love my daughter enough to not let her get sucked into the abyss of competitive dance and girls wrestling? Of course.

So I did it. I became a fan. I showed her videos of Caitlin Clark. We sat down and watched her highlights. Same with Paige Buekers. We watched a ton of games this year. I took her to a lot of Nebraska games. We watched Nebraska take down Cockeye. We went to the state tournament. We watched YouTube videos. I can name more woman’s college basketball players this year the men’s. I’m ashamed to admit it but it was all part of a bigger plan.

And guess what happened. Without me ever pressuring her about participation in one sport versus another, she has done the following in the last year:

1. Decided she hates dance and is quitting after this year
2. Decided girls wrestling is for “weird girls”
3. Decided she LOVES basketball.
4. Decided she wants to become a college basketball player.
5. Has, without me doing much besides just playing in the driveway, become very good at basketball for her age.

No expensive camps. No elite travel teams. She plays Y ball with girls a full year older than her and dominates. At age 7, she plays pick up games with boys and girls ages 7-10 and is generally the best. Her PE teacher, unprompted told me she’s never seen a better 7 year old girl. And I’m not saying any of that to brag, I'm just saying that to tell you that the only thing that consistently creates great players in any sport is a will to succeed. It’s not camp, travel teams, etc. It’s simply the will to succeed and the love of the sport. And guess what? You’re not going to give your child a love for any sport by falling into the club sports culture. In fact, they will start to hate it.

Dads: you have the power to set the tone in your house. You don’t have to get sucked into the dance culture. You don’t have to let your daughter become a weird band kid. You don’t have to get sucked into club sports culture. You can mold your girl into a competitive athlete who loves the game in the sport of your choice by simply taking an interest.

So, watch some woman’s college basketball. It’s a small price to pay for a huge reward.

 

[Tyneb23]

Me dealing with my 13 year old daughter

 

[iruletheskool]

I'd rather have the weird band kid

 

[Pipe Line]

My daughter turns 3 here in a few weeks. Not to that extent, but I've had women's college basketball on TV quite a bit the last couple weeks. In the basic form, I just try to expose her to sports when I can. I take her with me on guy errands when she's got nothing going on. However, she seems very much into arts related stuff. She loves dance class, she loves dress up, and she loves the painting portion of kids' building activities at Home Depot. She did play soccer last summer and is going to do it again this summer. She did tee ball last fall, that was a night mare. Swimming has been up and down. Granted, I have paid for the sports stuff, my wife pays for dance. She dances at the studio my wife taught at for like 15 years or something like that.


I'm not much of a basketball fan in general, but my wife and her family are. I can get behind women's basketball for the greater good.

 

[kenyanfeline]

My daughter turns 3 here in a few weeks. Not to that extent, but I've had women's college basketball on TV quite a bit the last couple weeks. In the basic form, I just try to expose her to sports when I can. I take her with me on guy errands when she's got nothing going on. However, she seems very much into arts related stuff. She loves dance class, she loves dress up, and she loves the painting portion of kids' building activities at Home Depot. She did play soccer last summer and is going to do it again this summer. She did tee ball last fall, that was a night mare. Swimming has been up and down. Granted, I have paid for the sports stuff, my wife pays for dance. She dances at the studio my wife taught at for like 15 years or something like that.


I'm not much of a basketball fan in general, but my wife and her family are. I can get behind women's basketball for the greater good.

At 3 she’s going to be naturally more inclined to the arts and dance. I don’t think I girl can understand basketball until at least 5-7.

The trick, in my opinion, is to be subtle and don’t push anything.

My daughter thought we were just watching basketball. I didn’t lead on that I had a greater plan. Just let it happen.

 

[alt f4]

Grear post. I agree with everything that you said, but would disagree with the wrestling part. But everything you said should be done. Take your daughters to women's sporting events, watch on TV, and be involved in them.

My 8th grade neice wrestles and also plays volleyball, I've watched a lot of her tournaments these last 2 years. She won a lot of beauty pagnent growing up and she's fair from gross. I'd say the top elite level girls wrestlers might meet your standard as gross, but everyday most you wouldn't guess they're wrestlers.

In Nebraska, girls basketball will always take a backseat to volleyball and in the future get overtaken by wrestling and possibly soccer. Girls basketball at a 3rd thru 6th grade level is painfully bad. All taller and better athletes are already in club volleyball basically year round.

I know this isn't a tell all. But at our YMCA we're also attached to a middle school. During open gym, I can't recall the last time I seen a girl shooting hoops. In last 9 years there I don't recall any girl under high school level ever shooting hoops, even with dad/mom. That age they're all using it for volleyball or soccer.

 

[Poor_and_Stupid]

At 3 she’s going to be naturally more inclined to the arts and dance. I don’t think I girl can understand basketball until at least 5-7.

The trick, in my opinion, is to be subtle and don’t push anything.

My daughter thought we were just watching basketball. I didn’t lead on that I had a greater plan. Just let it happen.

Not a girl dad yet, but my dad could have used this advice with my sister. She did not respond to any kind of direct teaching. Basically was in a phase where she didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. I got annoyed with him too, but I at least tried to listen.

 

[Pipe Line]

At 3 she’s going to be naturally more inclined to the arts and dance. I don’t think I girl can understand basketball until at least 5-7.

The trick, in my opinion, is to be subtle and don’t push anything.

My daughter thought we were just watching basketball. I didn’t lead on that I had a greater plan. Just let it happen.

For sure. Got pretty excited when she was technically eligible for the tee ball thing and I definitely jumped the gun on that. Not nearly coordinated enough. I know some told me that on here.

 

[HCFord1]

For sure. Got pretty excited when she was technically eligible for the tee ball thing and I definitely jumped the gun on that. Not nearly coordinated enough. I know some told me that on here.

Yeah, honestly most kids aren’t ready for tee ball until they’re around 5. I might’ve been the one who said it was too early, can’t remember.

My son is three and I just have him work on hitting a ball off a tee in the backyard whenever he’s willing, which usually only lasts about 5-10 swings before he wants to jump on the trampoline or go on the swings. Hopefully at some point this summer he’ll be willing to try to start playing catch and we can work on that coordination, because it’s the most difficult.

 

[Fargo Husker]

I'd rather have the weird band kid

Hell yeah, man

Also this may come off sounding like a shot at the OP but I promise you it's not...

The idea that taking an interest in and watching women's basketball is some sort of tortuous experience is the stupidest fucking thing ever.

 

[Pipe Line]

Yeah, honestly most kids aren’t ready for tee ball until they’re around 5. I might’ve been the one who said it was too early, can’t remember.

My son is three and I just have him work on hitting a ball off a tee in the backyard whenever he’s willing, which usually only lasts about 5-10 swings before he wants to jump on the trampoline or go on the swings. Hopefully at some point this summer he’ll be willing to try to start playing catch and we can work on that coordination, because it’s the most difficult.

Yep, it was you. You were spot on. Couldn't remember the name, just the photo. Concentration lasted about 5 minutes then she wanted to do something else. Problem is, there isn't much else to do in 3-5 year old t ball during drill work. You were right. Going to wait some years and not going to worry about interest until then. We have a plastic t ball set but that usually only lasts a few minutes too.

 

[betsch]

Nothing wrong with girls wrestling. It is way more intense than basketball most of the time. And I concur that the band kid is ok too.

 

[HCFord1]

Yep, it was you. You were spot on. Couldn't remember the name, just the photo. Concentration lasted about 5 minutes then she wanted to do something else. Problem is, there isn't much else to do in 3-5 year old t ball during drill work. You were right. Going to wait some years and not going to worry about interest until then. We have a plastic t ball set but that usually only lasts a few minutes too.

Yep. Same thing with my kid and golf. He knows that I play so he wants to try, so I went to scheels and bought him the smallest iron they sell and some foam practice balls. He’s usually only interested for like five swings and then wants to do something else. I think those super fine motor skills are just difficult for them until they’re older, and unless your kid is a savant like Tiger woods or the kid in that bat flip gif then we just have to be patient haha.

 

[Alcaus]

“If you love your daughter you’ll manipulate her psychologically”

Good strategy to have in the toolbox

 

[HCFord1]

Nothing wrong with girls wrestling. It is way more intense than basketball most of the time. And I concur that the band kid is ok too.

Nothing wrong with any activity for kids that has them safely being active or using their brain. Anything my son wants to do that doesn’t involve watching tv is pretty much always fine by me. He may end up having no interest in sports but as long as he’s interested in something other than video games it’ll be just fine.

I played football and baseball in high school but my best friends were all band/music kids and they’re awesome. They’re also usually the types who stay out of real trouble.

 

[Pipe Line]

Yep. Same thing with my kid and golf. He knows that I play so he wants to try, so I went to scheels and bought him the smallest iron they sell and some foam practice balls. He’s usually only interested for like five swings and then wants to do something else. I think those super fine motor skills are just difficult for them until they’re older, and unless your kid is a savant like Tiger woods or the kid in that bat flip gif then we just have to be patient haha.

I hate soccer and dance recitals make me want to take naps but if that's what she's into for a while then I won't miss any of it

 

[HuskerDocCo]

grrrawd damit i only had boys !!

 

[HuskerDocCo]

they were screwin all your girls !!!

 

[ISUforNU]

they were screwin all your girls !!!

Out of line.

 

[Scott Hall]

I have daughters who are 3, 2, and 1. The two oldest were asking to watch basketball yesterday and I had no problem doing it. Even better they were both saying go big red while watching.

I’ve never pretended to care about Nebraska woman’s volleyball but I’d be lying if watching what they did in front of 90000 or what Caitlin Clark is doing gets me a little emotional knowing that something like that is possible for them.