Wisconsin Dells recs

[Bootleg11]

My wife's family wants to plan a big family vacay. Her mom's health is not great and so they are going to try to get a vacation in this summer before she's unable to vacation anymore.

So we were trying to think of somewhere that isn't an awful drive away but would provide a lot of entertainment for the family.

We have 3 kids (13, 10, 8)
Brother in law has 2 kids (5 and 1)
Sister in law has 6 fucking kids...super catholics (15, 13, 12, 9, 4, 2)
Then my mother and father in law.

First thought was going to the Texas coast. But Texas, end of July with a motherinlaw that gets around with a walker...fuck that. I suggested Wisconsin Dells because I think it won't be nearly as hot and I've heard there's a ton for kids to do.

Any suggestions on resorts? We have looked into airBnBs but the thought with a resort is that the kids would have access to a waterpark the whole time we were there that's built into our costs. Best waterparks? Stuff to do besides waterparks?

I used google, but I dunno if I ever trust reviews on there.

 

[CybrrMonky71]

Wilderness Resort is Great Wolf Lodge on super steroids
If the kids want water parks, this is the place to stay
Weather there in summer is kinda cold, so this place gives the option of outdoors or indoors.
Really depends if u want the family resort water park experience or not
Weve stayed at a nice condo on lake Delton then hit Noah’s Ark & Mt Olympus (mt Olympus has an amusement park but don’t stay there bc all the trash from Chicago comes up & can cause issues) & then stayed a separate couple days at Wilderness.
Wilderness resort kinda “prices out” that demographic.
Lots of things to do in the Dells. Kinda similar to Branson except less rednecks & replace go karts with water parks
I’ll just say DO NOT STAY at Mt Olympus. The amusement park is fine but they run so many discounts all of the South Side of Chicago comes up & it ends up being a World Star fight club..
I believe we stayed at the Delton Grand Resort the last time we were there about 8 yrs ago. Very nice, very quiet & a beautiful view of lake Delton from all rooms (but that was 8 years ago)

 

[cwessel76]

The Dells is both amazing and terrible at the same time.

Even if you wake up and slam three shots of Jack you will still be the soberest adult there.

 

[God is a Husker]

Went once.

The Dells are fun but so white trash it makes tubing/tanking down the Niobrara look like the Met Gala.


You’re gonna have a blast OP.
Pro tip: pack extra swimsuits in case of accidents. (drinking all day related)

 

[cwessel76]

Went once.

The Dells are fun but so white trash it makes tubing/tanking down the Niobrara look like the Met Gala.


You’re gonna have a blast OP.
Pro tip: pack extra swimsuits in case of accidents. (drinking all day related)

This so true. The amount of alcohol Wisconsinites consume makes EVERYONE else look like rank amateurs.

 

[CybrrMonky71]

Went once.

The Dells are fun but so white trash it makes tubing/tanking down the Niobrara look like the Met Gala.


You’re gonna have a blast OP.
Pro tip: pack extra swimsuits in case of accidents. (drinking all day related)

I thought the Dells seemed less white trashy than Branson/Lake of Ozarks
Very similar tourist trap areas tho
Just no confederate flags flying in the Dells. You will find Lots of Jamaicans working at the attractions in the Dells (which I thought was very out of place)

 

[greybeardedchild]

I thought the Dells seemed less white trashy than Branson/Lake of Ozarks
Very similar tourist trap areas tho
Just no confederate flags flying in the Dells. You will find Lots of Jamaicans working at the attractions in the Dells (which I thought was very out of place)

Sounds like Dells is a great alternative to Branson, I like the idea of Branson (everybody needs a tourist trap every now and then) but I hate the fuckin methhead racist shit sniffing inbred hillbilly fucks that seem to surround the place. Fuck i hate missouri so much. I hate the things Missouri stands for. St Louis and KC are aight. No offense to any fine tbp posters who live in that wretched wasteland.

 

[dsbigred1]

Sounds like Dells is a great alternative to Branson, I like the idea of Branson (everybody needs a tourist trap every now and then) but I hate the fuckin methhead racist shit sniffing inbred hillbilly fucks that seem to surround the place. Fuck i hate missouri so much. I hate the things Missouri stands for. St Louis and KC are aight. No offense to any fine tbp posters who live in that wretched wasteland.

Clearly jealous you can’t buy a gun at the gas station…

 

[Frankie51]

Went a couple of summers ago and didn’t know what to expect. Agree with what some wrote about being trashy. Obviously a lot of waterparks and I think the only lake was lake delton which isn’t big at all. For some reason I thought it would be like lake okoboji but it definitely isn’t. I would rather go to Lake Okoboji but that’s me. We stayed at the waterfront villas because we needed a lot of space for the size of the family, they were fine.

 

[Bootleg11]

I guess a better question would be...where would you go? We live in Wichita, I don't want to go to Texas or the beach where it's hot because my mother in law would be miserable. We need to be within driving distance because my wife's sister can't afford to fly her army of kids.

We go to Table Rock Lake every summer so Branson is out. We have to keep kids entertained but also want to be entertained ourselves.

What would you do?

 

[God is a Husker]

Sounds like Dells is a great alternative to Branson, I like the idea of Branson (everybody needs a tourist trap every now and then) but I hate the fuckin methhead racist shit sniffing inbred hillbilly fucks that seem to surround the place. Fuck i hate missouri so much. I hate the things Missouri stands for. St Louis and KC are aight. No offense to any fine tbp posters who live in that wretched wasteland.

Bruh Branson is not Lake of the Ozarks, its like music and shows and theater kids type stuff and also has somewhat fancier/higher end places.

Lake of the Ozarks is perma-white trash spring break, its pontoon boats, tramp stamps and Kid Rock on the bluetooth speaker.


totally different vibes
totally different tourists/people there
average price point for a Branson trip is probably only 50% to 2x higher than Lake of Ozarks (still cheap relatively speaking tho)

 

[Bootleg11]

Bruh Branson is not Lake of the Ozarks, its like music and shows and theater kids type stuff and also has somewhat fancier/higher end places.

Lake of the Ozarks is perma-white trash spring break, its pontoon boats, tramp stamps and Kid Rock on the bluetooth speaker.


totally different vibes
totally different tourists/people there
average price point for a Branson trip is probably only 50% to 2x higher than Lake of Ozarks (still cheap relatively speaking tho)

Every year We go to Shell Knob which is on the other side of Table Rock from Branson, beautiful lake, very chill. I mean every lake has “lake people” but totally agree, definitely not lake of the Ozark vibes

 

[Tell_Sackett]

Stayed at Wilderness Resort this last summer. Kalahari is the other big resort there. I think it is a bit newer. Ask for a newer room at the Wilderness. They are undergoing a renovation. We got one of the dated rooms and it was big enough, but pretty rough. You will walk....and walk....and walk some more. It is crazy how spread out it is. Kids had a lot of fun. The crowd is.... interesting.

Moosejaw Pizza was really good and is just down the street. The resort food is crazy expensive and underwhelming. Indoor go carts were terrible. The arcade was a massive rip off. Outdoor go carts and rope course were decent. Probably plan on activity wristbands. Also did the theater ride attraction and that was decent.

We did a duck boat tour and did the deer park. Kids enjoyed both. Those are probably the two oldest attractions there. Very much like Gatlinburg or Branson. We'll probably go back and try Kalahari at some point.

 

[Jim14510]

I guess a better question would be...where would you go? We live in Wichita, I don't want to go to Texas or the beach where it's hot because my mother in law would be miserable. We need to be within driving distance because my wife's sister can't afford to fly her army of kids.

We go to Table Rock Lake every summer so Branson is out. We have to keep kids entertained but also want to be entertained ourselves.

What would you do?

Grand View Lodge Gull Lake MN

 

[Jim14510]

I would rather go to Lake Okoboji

I haven't been to the Dells since I was a little kid but can't imagine it's that bad. I fucking hate Okoboji.

 

[Frankie51]

I haven't been to the Dells since I was a little kid but can't imagine it's that bad. I fucking hate Okoboji.

I didn’t think it was that bad. Different experiences. What did you not like?

 

[Ext. 55]

The Dells is both amazing and terrible at the same time.

Even if you wake up and slam three shots of Jack you will still be the soberest adult there.

Spot on.

 

[Bootleg11]

Sounds like this vacation is already falling apart. Planning a vacation with that many factions has already pissed me off. Thanks for the suggestions.

Maybe I'll just take my wife and kids to Colorado Springs or something. I hear that's fun.

 

[MtnHusker]

Dells is a bit White Trashy. Make sure you stay at a good place otherwise you end up with the Trash from Chicago running around your hotel. They are a different world and as others have mentioned it can get a crowd that can cause problems.

I live on the Lake of the Ozarks so obviously biased but this is a somewhat close drive plus tons to do here for everyone whether they are looking to party or do family activities. Fishing, boating, water parks, caves, tubing, go carts, restaurants, concerts, ........ If you do decide to come this way I can give you some Do's & Dont's.

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Bridal Cave - Tourist Attraction at the Lake of the Ozarks

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Ha Ha Tonka State Park | Missouri State Parks

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THE 15 BEST Things to Do in Lake of the Ozarks, MO - 2023

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Big Surf Waterpark at the Lake of the Ozarks

The Biggest, Fastest, Funnest, Safest, Cleanest, Number One-en-est Family Fun Waterpark at the Lake of the Ozarks, Missouri!

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Malted Monkey

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[Jim14510]

I didn’t think it was that bad. Different experiences. What did you not like?

I dunno if i can put my finger on it. Too many boats for not enough lake for one. Always waiting to get in anywhere. Bridges Bay is a cesspool. Arnold Park is lame.

Probably mostly too many people. That's probably true of the Dells too.