Why is Cockeye such a dark, depressing, gloomy place?

[Toe]

 

[Tonkasker]

And Okoboji is fucking trash.

I can let you guys have some fun with it but lets not start lying like okoboji isn't chock full of nebraska plates

 

[Scott Hall]

It’s a rural backwoods state. 50% more population than Nebraska but Nebraska has 2 cities that are bigger than the largest city in Cockeye.

 

[Kaladin]

I can let you guys have some fun with it but lets not start lying like okoboji isn't chock full of nebraska plates

lots of Cockeye people have moved to omaha, then they go to okoboji to connect with their roots

 

[Juro]

 

[Ext. 55]

When the pioneers were traveling westward across our beautiful new country, the brave ones forged across the Missouri River, while the cowards, the weak, and the lazy stayed on the east side.

That's how it is to this day.

This. The truth of this is the most spot on thing I’ve read all day. The history of Cockeye. The legacy.

 

[greybeardedchild]

It’s a rural backwoods state. 50% more population than Nebraska but Nebraska has 2 cities that are bigger than the largest city in Cockeye.

3, when the Huskers are playing at Memorial Stadium!!1!

 

[Huskersballz]

Meth

 

[Kaladin]

Meth

Cockeye is meth

Colorado is weed

Nebraska is cocaine there why we are skinny, attractive, and classy

 

[turek420845]

I've made the drive from Davenport to Des Moines a few times.

I shit you not - the air smelled like manure for a good 2-3 hours. Assuming that's turkey, cattle and hogs, but it was HORRIBLE for almost the whole drive. Finally dissipated about 1/2 hour east of Des Moines. And for some weird reason it's happened the last 4 times I've made the drive, furthering my thoughts that it's always smelled like feces.

To be fair, I've smelled some of those same things up near Wisner, but it lasts about 5 minutes then...DONE.

You should probably check your trunk. One of those iowans might have tried to hitch a ride in your trunk and just died in there.

 

[Jay Bilzerian]

Sometimes when I'm sitting around in my office in Omaha, I'll look to the east across the river into Cockeye, and it always looks like such a depressing place. There's always dark clouds overhead and vultures flying about. I read an article a year ago about some guy who buried hookers on his farm. I just assume that's normal over there?

I've only ventured over there a few times into Counciltucky. The weather was ok but the people were weird and they're all obese and ugly and smelly. It's like Mordor but instead of having Sauron they just have a couple of shitty football teams that no one cares about.

Does anyone know why this is?

They fuck and kill monkeys

Des Moines lawyer charged with distributing torture, mutilation videos of monkeys

A Des Moines lawyer was indicted in Ohio on Friday for his involvement with online groups who create and distribute “animal crush videos.” The videos involve monkeys being tortured, mutilated and sexually abused.

www.thegazette.com

They fuck and kill cats

Police: Man Admits To Sex With Cat Before Tossing It From Window

A Council Bluffs man faces several charges after witnesses told police the man, who had his pants down, threw a cat from a seventh-floor apartment window.

www.ketv.com

Case closed

 

[BIGSTICK67]

You should probably check your trunk. One of those iowans might have tried to hitch a ride in your trunk and just died in there.

The legacy of @themillerflip would NOT allow that.

He's the only person allowed to hitch a ride...sitting shotgun with a Coors Light tall boy between his legs and requesting his favorite tunes. 😎

RIP Bill.