The Platinum Board Bible

[Kaladin]

December 12, 2024

From @SOHusker11

“It is good. Thou hast been Fonged. She is scattered abroad. And lo, Pete Nakos did speak, saying, ‘Steve Wiltfong of On3 and I have made our proclamations, for we have seen that Nebraska shall claim the EDGE of Williams Nwaneri, who cometh from Missouri. Verily, the former five-star shall follow the path laid by his high school shepherd, Jamar Mozee, who now standeth with the Cornhuskers. All signs point unto this new journey.’”

 

[Kaladin]

December 12, 2024

From @Baron Winnebago

“And he spake unto them, saying, ‘Lo, I tell you a tale of mirth and jest, a reminder to trust not in the many voices of the internet. For believe it or not, I speak plainly unto you: I am that which ye may not have expected, for I am gay.’”

 

[The Other Dave]

Verily, I say unto thee, all glory and honor be given unto Kaladin, for by his hand and wisdom hath this holy scripture been wrought. Let it be known throughout all lands:

Rule the First: Reveal not the sacred truths of the Bomb Shelter unto the multitudes.

Rule the Second: Yea, even as the stars abide by their courses, so too shall ye abide by Rule the First.

And lo, those who heed these commandments shall walk in the light of discretion and wisdom, but those who stray shall face the judgment of the brethren. Thus it is written, and thus shall it be.

 

[Poor_and_Stupid]

The Book of Simulation, Chapter 3, Verses 1-12

1. And it came to pass in the land of Nebraska, that the sons of Cornhusker did assemble upon the field, and their hearts were full of hope.


2. But the hand of the Almighty Simulation was upon them, and though they fought valiantly, they were smitten by defeat at every turn.


3. And the coaches rose up, speaking unto the team, but their words were as chaff before the wind, for the code had already spoken, and it was written in the Scrolls of Loss.


4. The ball was cast forth with might, but lo, it fell as a stone into a pit, and the opposing forces surged as a mighty river, overpowering them at every step.


5. And the people of Nebraska cried out, saying, “How long, O Lord, shall we suffer?” But the heavens were silent, for the simulation was deaf to their pleas.


6. The defenders did stand firm, but their legs were weak, and their hands failed to grasp the prize, for the game was already decided before the first whistle was blown.


7. Yea, the team did labor in vain, and the hours were long, but their victory was as a shadow that flee’th before the dawn, ever elusive, ever far.


8. And the simulation moved in the depths of the unseen world, controlling every pass, every run, every moment, ensuring that defeat would be their portion, and glory would not shine upon their brow.


9. And the fans did gather, with their eyes upon the field, but they saw not the true hand that guided the game; their hopes were as dust in the wind.


10. Yet, still the people of Nebraska pressed on, for they were a people of great faith, though their faith was tested by the unyielding hand of fate.


11. And though their backs were broken and their hearts heavy, they knew not that their suffering was not of their own making, but the work of the one who governs all things beneath the sky.


12. And so, they continued, generation after generation, for though victory was not theirs, they were bound to the field, caught in the eternal cycle of loss, under the shadow of the Unseen Hand.

 

[Tell_Sackett]

This thread makes me think of the classic speech after Aunt Edna met her tragic end....

O God, ease our suffering in this, our moment of great despair. Yea, admit this kind and decent woman into thy arms of thine heavenly area, up there. And Moab, he lay us upon the band of the Canaanites, and yea, though the Hindus speak of karma, I implore you: give her a break.

 

[HuskerGarrett]

And lo, the College Football Portal giveth and taketh away. Yet, verily I say unto thee, whosoever putteth their trust and confidence therein shall receive a twofold return.

 

[Kaladin]

December 12, 2024

From @Dawgsauce

“And lo, I pondered within myself, saying, ‘Should I speak unto @Skerz4Life50, for surely UGA may be offering him much, and I have learned that this young one hath struggles with drops. If such be not the way of the receivers at UGA, then I know not what is. Furthermore, he doth abhor the corn, and this I declare unto you.’ And yet, I did question in my heart whether this one should join the fellowship in Athens, for none are without flaw. Yet, behold, he hath a great love for fish, especially the red and black snapper.’”

 

[God is a Husker]

 

[Kaladin]

December 12, 2024

From @Kazman5k

“And lo, some did speak, saying, ‘The returns of the kicks are but a thing of wonder and trickery, for they are fleeting and oftentimes contrived.’ But the wise know that strength and skill are found in more enduring ways, and not in the fleeting moments of the return.’”

 

[Dawgsauce]

December 12, 2024

From @Dawgsauce

“And lo, I pondered within myself, saying, ‘Should I speak unto @Skerz4Life50, for surely UGA may be offering him much, and I have learned that this young one hath struggles with drops. If such be not the way of the receivers at UGA, then I know not what is. Furthermore, he doth abhor the corn, and this I declare unto you.’ And yet, I did question in my heart whether this one should join the fellowship in Athens, for none are without flaw. Yet, behold, he hath a great love for fish, especially the red and black snapper.’”

Is that AI? If not, you should start a religion and rename yourself Joe Smith.

 

[Frogsker30]

My new life goal is to be quoted in the tpb bible aka the platinum bible

 

[Kaladin]

December 12, 2024

From @Irv

"And it came to pass that many walked upon the path of discourse, yet some sought to avoid the noise of contention. And they said, 'It is better to turn away from the matters of politics, for as one would avoid the noise and strife of the marketplace or the tumult of the Parking Lot, so too should we refrain from the quarrels of this world, that we may find peace for our souls.'"

 

[HughJanus]

Most days

From @everyone

"Hast thou morsels?"

 

[cwessel76]

Where’s the TPB Torah? Quran? Bhagavad Gita?

I want to make sure I attach myself to the correct belief structure.

 

[Kaladin]

December 12, 2024

From @djw004

And lo, when they inquired of him, saying, "Wilt thou make thy defense aggressive?"—a question most foolish, for it hath been known from the beginning of time—he answered and said, "Verily, I deem myself a man of aggression, and my defense shall be as an extension of my own nature." And this utterance pleased the heart, for in him was the spirit of strength, and in his defense was the same fire. Blessed is the one who leadeth with the zeal of a lion, for it is said: "The defense of the Lord’s house is built with fervor, and in the heat of battle, it shall never falter." Thus, we have found the man who is as the wild one, the lunatic among the staff, and he hath proven this truth in abundance.

 

[djw004]

December 12, 2024

From @djw004

And lo, when they inquired of him, saying, "Wilt thou make thy defense aggressive?"—a question most foolish, for it hath been known from the beginning of time—he answered and said, "Verily, I deem myself a man of aggression, and my defense shall be as an extension of my own nature." And this utterance pleased the heart, for in him was the spirit of strength, and in his defense was the same fire. Blessed is the one who leadeth with the zeal of a lion, for it is said: "The defense of the Lord’s house is built with fervor, and in the heat of battle, it shall never falter." Thus, we have found the man who is as the wild one, the lunatic among the staff, and he hath proven this truth in abundance.

So many things going through my head:

1. What an absolute HONOR to have the spirit of tPB breath through me in this manner

2. I will name this passage JoBu 4:20

3. @Frogsker30 i hope you can earn the feeling I have right now. For it is truly glorious to have these words extend to eternity

4. @Kaladin you've done seem great things here - but this thread may be your best. Should you ever weary, let us know and we will carry you. Because this can never stop.

 

[Kaladin]

December 12, 2024

From @ThomOsborneMD

“And lo, the people asked, ‘What is the song that bringeth joy at the time of the season?’ And it was said, ‘Behold, Ed Sheeran’s new offering is a melody most wondrous, and Mariah’s timeless album doth fill the hearts of many with gladness.’”