Shitty memes thread / husker or nonhusker related I don’t care

[LoudHogRider]

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That dude has definitely crossed over into "The Matrix". @Poor_and_Stupid is RIGHT!

 

[LoudHogRider]

OK, so I have to tell this story on myself. When I was 24, I lived with two girls in a "Three's Company" style living arrangement (3BR apartment, everybody was just "friends" (though they made outfuckingstanding wingmen), and it was a very cool arrangement for everyone. For my birthday, the girls got together and bought me a gag gift: a legit blow-up doll. Anatomically-correct Sally. We had a ball with her the night of the birthday: drug her with us on the bar tour, she rode in the back seat of the Jeep and made weird noises when the wind hit the mouth hole, etc. A fun evening. The next morning, I packed "Sally" away in a box and forgot about her.

Fast forward 5 years, and I'm now living in the Twin Cities and decide to downsize from my suburban two-bedroom apartment in Eagan to a 1 bedroom in a high rise in downtown Minneapolis (110 Grant) to apartment 23D ... on the 23rd floor. I had a king size waterbed back in that day with a full set of double drawers and a bunch of storage underneath the bed itself, and that's where Sally had been stored since moving up there. I've got a couple of buddies from college over helping me move and we had been partaking rather liberally in "the weed" that afternoon as part of the "help a buddy move" incentive plan. Anyway, it's time to downsize so ALL the boxes must be opened to see what's in there that's worth keeping a what can be pitched. Sally. OMG, we found Sally.

Everybody got to suggest one outcome for disposing of Sally. Mine came in second place, and I had suggested that we fill her full of helium, write "If found, please return to Governor Rudy Pirpich" and release her into the air. Rass came up with the winner. My apartment had a brick balcony around it, which made for good concealment. The balcony faced the Loring Walkway, which was an elevated pedestrian walkway that ran through that part of downtown connecting it to Loring Park ... which I discovered on moving day was also a gay park and I lived in a gay building in a gay neighborhood. Thank goodness for 1-year leases, eh? Anyway, back to the story ...

Across from my building was the Hyatt Hotel, which had a glass atrium dining area which faced my balcony.a condo building to the north, and directly below me was a 3 story parking garage for my building. A nice sunny Saturday in the Twin Cities, lots of walkers out, full luncheon crowd at the Hyatt - lots of "witnesses" to what was to follow.

We dressed Sally in a white tee shirt and my other buddy and I held her upright behind the brick balcony wall, while Rass staged a mock fight will Sally. Because of the way the buildings all faced each other, sound just echoed there. A small crowd has stopped to observe the fight. Rass is berating this blow up doll, and finally yells, "YOU BITCH!", takes a mighty swing which connected right in Sally's big plastic head ... and over the balcony she goes. A magnificent head-first flight down to the upper deck of the parking garage, a "splat" sound when the big plastic head hit the concrete, and Sally's final gesture was forming a perfect bodily outline that screamed to be "chalked in" in a future CSI episode.

We are up on the balcony absolutely losing our shit, laughing hysterically at our "prank" ... when we heard the murmuring from the crowd begin to change to panic. People are shouting, screaming and pointing at our balcony. Guests in the Hyatt dining room are pointing up through the glass, and we observe people starting to count "up and over" attempting to identify my apartment location, presumably to direct the police our way. Oh, shit. Time to go.

We hightailed it down the stairs - no elevator - to the subterranean parking garage where my Jeep was parked and got the hell outta there for the rest of the day. Met a group of girls at a bar at the somewhere in the labyrinth of elevated walkways in downtown Minneapolis, and everyone got laid. Helluva day.

Thanks for reading my long and boring blow-up doll story.

 

[MtnHusker]

Working on my new Food Truck concept for the Ozarks. Who wants in? Investment opportunity of a Life Time.

 

[MtnHusker]

 

[MtnHusker]

 

[MtnHusker]

 

[MtnHusker]

 

[LoudHogRider]

Working on my new Food Truck concept for the Ozarks. Who wants in? Investment opportunity of a Life Time.

Looks like you've got that truck headed in the right direction ...

 

[Jim14510]

Working on my new Food Truck concept for the Ozarks. Who wants in? Investment opportunity of a Life Time.

Squril lmao

 

[MtnHusker]

Squril lmao

My design company charges by the letter. Just makes gud bidness cents

 

[Jim14510]

Working on my new Food Truck concept for the Ozarks. Who wants in? Investment opportunity of a Life Time.

I'd also like to know what the blank spot is for $2.

 

[LoudHogRider]

I'd also like to know what the blank spot is for $2.

Genuine Ozark road kill, Jim. Hard to put it in writing since you don't know what's for dinner until you come around the bend and BOOM ... it's dinner.

 

[MtnHusker]

I'd also like to know what the blank spot is for $2.

If memory serves me right lots of negative press plus death threats for selling Raccoon for $2. Once again cost of lettering plus fiscal accountability on our limited budget only left us enough money to pay for 4 letters for the Raccoon Menu slot, so we dropped the first 3 letters.

 

[22*43*51]

 

[MtnHusker]

 

[Huskerforlife]

 

[Huskerforlife]

 

[Huskerforlife]

 

[Huskerforlife]

 

[Huskerforlife]