A worthy thread: Best Trash Talk

[Tsakoi]

Let's hear the examples of the best trash talk you ever unleashed on some poor mook or that you ever heard someone eviscerate an opponent with.....

Here's the best one I've heard and it was deployed against my team to devastating effect.

We were playing against a guy who for privacy reasons we'll call Robert Jones. It's a completely made up name to protect his victims. Robert was a very well known high school and club athlete in his sport. Not well liked, but definitely respected. So my team was playing against his and for obvious reasons he was getting some special attention. For some reason we were certain that by letting him know that knew who he was, it would be to our advantage. For most of the first part of the game you would often hear "Who is guarding Robert?... I've got Robert..... Somebody get on Robert" and it eventually devolved into directly speaking to Robert. "Robert you're not getting the ball.....I can handle you, Robert.... There's no reason to worry because this guy, Robert, isn't gonna do anything". After over 30 minutes of this, as both teams are grouped together for one stoppage of play Robert announces to one of my teammates:

"Haven't you noticed that you all know my name, but I don't know any of yours?"

The use of his name stopped immediately after that and his team went on to secure a comfortable win in a totally lopsided affair in which the final score could only be described as a bloodbath in which Robert lived up to his reputation and my team failed to enhance theirs. And to make matters worse, I obviously remember this story and I highly doubt he does. Well played, Robert. Your burn has continued to smoulder for decades.

 

[kenyanfeline]

I was running the 800m at districts in high school and there was a pack of three of us leading it heading into the final lap.

One of the guys I was running with’s mom goes “let’s go Chris! Finish hard, you got this” from right outside the fence.

On the curve, the other guy I was running with goes “dude, your mom is fat as fuck.”

He (the guy who made the comment) then proceeded to dominate the last 300 meters. Chris dropped hard and got like 6th place.

 

[HuskerGarrett]

I was running the 800m at districts in high school and there was a pack of three of us leading it heading into the final lap.

One of the guys I was running with’s mom goes “let’s go Chris! Finish hard, you got this” from right outside the fence.

On the curve, the other guy I was running with goes “dude, your mom is fat as fuck.”

He (the guy who made the comment) then proceeded to dominate the last 300 meters. Chris dropped hard and got like 6th place.

What an inspirational story 🔥

 

[jaihawk]

My favorite thing to do when I played baseball was taking a big lead off of First Base, forcing the pitcher to throw over. Once I got back up from diving into the bag, I would yell, "Hey pitch, your girlfriend has a better move with a man on, I outta know!". Usually rattled the heck out of him...

 

[Eaton Beaver]

My 3rd grader talks a bunch of shit while playing COD.
1. I own you!
2. You're trash or dog water and then tells the person he went like 16-48 on accuracy.
3. The best was when he thought his mom was out and she caught him saying "these kids suck ass"

 

[doublewing]

If you were at Lincoln in the early 90's and played intramural or pickup basketball against Tommie Frazier, he was relentless. He'd make fun of your shoes, your shorts, your haircut or whatever he could latch on to. He called one of my teammates "Goodwill" or "Salvation Army" because he wore some ratty clothes to games.

 

[betsch]

If you were at Lincoln in the early 90's and played intramural or pickup basketball against Tommie Frazier, he was relentless. He'd make fun of your shoes, your shorts, your haircut or whatever he could latch on to. He called one of my teammates "Goodwill" or "Salvation Army" because he wore some ratty clothes to games.

Can you imagine what kind of NIL money Tommie would make these days?

 

[DuckSker]

My 3rd grader talks a bunch of shit while playing COD.
1. I own you!
2. You're trash or dog water and then tells the person he went like 16-48 on accuracy.
3. The best was when he thought his mom was out and she caught him saying "these kids suck ass"

MW2 lobby’s in 2012 were no place for a 3rd grader. Shit was intense back then

 

[MtnHusker]

I had an Intramural Basketball Team I called the Running Belly Dumpers. Named after the high scoring Runnin Rebels at the time. Basic Premise was the 4 Out Offense, before it was a thing. Athletic fast group that chucked 3's with a 6-7 280 lb German Kid who could barely dribble a ball rebounding, blocking shots and pushing people around in the middle.

In the Semi-Finals of the Intramural Tournament we were playing a team that was considered one of the favorites as all of their starters played high school ball, and 3 of them had small school scholarship offers. But they had no bench. Basically we were out skilled something fierce so my game plan was to chuck 3's like normal on Offense but on Defense we played what we called a 4-1 George Defense. We had 4 players that played Man D and 1 player that chased the ball forcing double teams. That left 1 player open, George. He was a good player but didn't seem overly confident so I took a chance on him folding like a cheap Lawn Chair on a windy day.

We wouldn't cover George so he was almost always open. I had our team yelling "George is open" and point to him whenever they had the ball and if he got the ball we all yelled "Shoot George". Really fucked with his head and confidence. First time he got the ball he was on the baseline about 12 feet from the hoop and we were all just yelling "Shoot George", and he did and it clanked. We got in his head something fierce. He was like 1-12 from the floor and in the 2nd half he wouldn't even shoot. We cheered loudly and all High 5'd him the one time he did make a shot. Thinking back on that it was probably in poor taste but that was expected from me.

The 2 teams that were playing after us in the other Semi-Final game walked in the gym at halftime and saw a score of 37-23 and thought we were getting smoked. Nope, the Belly Dumpers were on fire from the 3 the first half with the German owning the lane and our 4-1 George Defense was not PC but working. Would have been the Intramural Upset of the Year. Unfortunately our shooting went cold in the 2nd half plus our big German Tank ran out of gas. We ended up keeping it close, so was a Moral Victory to even be close at the end of the game.

 

[HuskerGarrett]

I had an Intramural Basketball Team I called the Running Belly Dumpers. Named after the high scoring Runnin Rebels at the time. Basic Premise was the 4 Out Offense, before it was a thing. Athletic fast group that chucked 3's with a 6-7 280 lb German Kid who could barely dribble a ball rebounding, blocking shots and pushing people around in the middle.

In the Semi-Finals of the Intramural Tournament we were playing a team that was considered one of the favorites as all of their starters played high school ball, and 3 of them had small school scholarship offers. But they had no bench. Basically we were out skilled something fierce so my game plan was to chuck 3's like normal on Offense but on Defense we played what we called a 4-1 George Defense. We had 4 players that played Man D and 1 player that chased the ball forcing double teams. That left 1 player open, George. He was a good player but didn't seem overly confident so I took a chance on him folding like a cheap Lawn Chair on a windy day.

We wouldn't cover George so he was almost always open. I had our team yelling "George is open" and point to him whenever they had the ball and if he got the ball we all yelled "Shoot George". Really fucked with his head and confidence. First time he got the ball he was on the baseline about 12 feet from the hoop and we were all just yelling "Shoot George", and he did and it clanked. We got in his head something fierce. He was like 1-12 from the floor and in the 2nd half he wouldn't even shoot. We cheered loudly and all High 5'd him the one time he did make a shot. Thinking back on that it was probably in poor taste but that was expected from me.

The 2 teams that were playing after us in the other Semi-Final game walked in the gym at halftime and saw a score of 37-23 and thought we were getting smoked. Nope, the Belly Dumpers were on fire from the 3 the first half with the German owning the lane and our 4-1 George Defense was not PC but working. Would have been the Intramural Upset of the Year. Unfortunately our shooting went cold in the 2nd half plus our big German Tank ran out of gas. We ended up keeping it close, so was a Moral Victory to even be close at the end of the game.

That boy ended up being George Washington. Just shows you should never give up on your dreams

 

[Baron Winnebago]

I was in the nebrasketball student section around 2011 and someone, who I can only assume was @jw3 , walked over to Indiana walk ons and told them "it's ok, I suck at basketball too"

 

[HuskerGarrett]

I was in the nebrasketball student section around 2011 and someone, who I can only assume was @jw3 , walked over to Indiana walk one and told them "it's ok, I suck at basketball too"

I think it was the same year when I was in the student section. The women’s team came out and asked “why don’t you guys come to our games?” I was slightly drunk and yelled “because womens basketball sucks ass”

 

[Baron Winnebago]

I think it was the same year when I was in the student section. The women’s team came out and asked “why don’t you guys come to our games?” I was slightly drunk and yelled “because womens basketball sucks ass”

I now know who you are

 

[MtnHusker]

I was in the nebrasketball student section around 2011 and someone, who I can only assume was @jw3 , walked over to Indiana walk one and told them "it's ok, I suck at basketball too"

We'd go to the womens basketball games in college and heckle the other team. Actually pretty brutal stuff calling them out for looking like men or liking touching women. Jock strap & boner jokes plus all kinds of other tasteless one liners like: "Last time I saw an Ass like yours it was pulling a plow"

One opposing player got so pissed she picked up the ball and chucked it at my buddies head. Clean shot, she'd have been disqualified if we were playing Youth Dodgeball Rules for a Head Shot.

 

[Tell_Sackett]

If you were at Lincoln in the early 90's and played intramural or pickup basketball against Tommie Frazier, he was relentless. He'd make fun of your shoes, your shorts, your haircut or whatever he could latch on to. He called one of my teammates "Goodwill" or "Salvation Army" because he wore some ratty clothes to games.

Orange bowl, 4th quarter...
Warren Sapp..... Where you been Tom?

Tommie Frazier.... My name's not Tom... It's Tommie. And it's not about where I've been, but where I'm going, fat boy.

Not sure that is an exact quote, but that was the way I heard it.

A former classmate of mine played LB at ISU from around 92-96 and he said Frazier never shut up.....he was just relentless.

 

[Cash68847]

Let's hear the examples of the best trash talk you ever unleashed on some poor mook or that you ever heard someone eviscerate an opponent with.....

Here's the best one I've heard and it was deployed against my team to devastating effect.

We were playing against a guy who for privacy reasons we'll call Robert Jones. It's a completely made up name to protect his victims. Robert was a very well known high school and club athlete in his sport. Not well liked, but definitely respected. So my team was playing against his and for obvious reasons he was getting some special attention. For some reason we were certain that by letting him know that knew who he was, it would be to our advantage. For most of the first part of the game you would often hear "Who is guarding Robert?... I've got Robert..... Somebody get on Robert" and it eventually devolved into directly speaking to Robert. "Robert you're not getting the ball.....I can handle you, Robert.... There's no reason to worry because this guy, Robert, isn't gonna do anything". After over 30 minutes of this, as both teams are grouped together for one stoppage of play Robert announces to one of my teammates:

"Haven't you noticed that you all know my name, but I don't know any of yours?"

The use of his name stopped immediately after that and his team went on to secure a comfortable win in a totally lopsided affair in which the final score could only be described as a bloodbath in which Robert lived up to his reputation and my team failed to enhance theirs. And to make matters worse, I obviously remember this story and I highly doubt he does. Well played, Robert. Your burn has continued to smoulder for decades.

The funniest one I heard was from a kid that worked for us. He wrestled heavy weight and placed somewhere between 3-5 in state his senior year. He lost to Harrison Phillips and at some point after the match Phillips told him you impressed me considering what you have to work with. The kid didn’t know whether Phillips met it as a compliment or an insult. I will say looking at him you would have never thought he could compete in class A, but the kid was a technician.

 

[Boondock_St_Sker]

There was a kid on my wrestling team in HS that was pretty much the same size and frame I was...6'1" 145lb...his name was Neil but we called him "Sweet 7" he and I would have wrestle offs each week to see who was going to wrestle our weight class. I wasn't eligible b/c grades (dumb as fuck), so I'd beat this kid on most occasions but he would go to the meets. Anyway, we're at a meet (Rim of the World H.S. in Southern Cali). The 145s get on the mat and there's Neil, in what I can only think of as an old man night gown for a singlet, thank God I was dumb, he looked like a stork!! anyway, he's matched up against the #2 dude in the state. Neil's ready...we've been pumping him up all day 'You got this Neil' 'Fuck that guy, he ain't shit' '#2, pfffft, he ain't seen nothin' like you man!!!' Neil's got it in his head that he might actually beat this guy! They meet in the middle, ref blows the whistle, dude pulls Neil's head down, rolls him over, pins one arm against his neck and squeezes like there's no tomorrow. He actually whispered in Neil's ear 'Open your eyes and read the roof bitch' just as the refs hand slaps the mat....7...seconds....later....

Neil came over to the bench and said....Don't read the roof boys...to wit every last one of us looked up...those cocky fucks painted "IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU ARE PINNED"

 

[God is a Husker]

Hiawataha KS had a kid on their team named “Luke Lucas” we told him his parents were drunk retards for naming him that.


Didn’t phase him, he had obviously grown numb to a terrible name by high school. Hiawatha also had a literal retarded kid who was a god at Track, the Forest Gump jokes wrote themselves.


cc: @Huskerbuck85 @Link- @Woodrow F Call and maybe @slattimer

 

[Eaton Beaver]

Hiawataha KS had a kid on their team named “Luke Lucas” we told him his parents were drunk retards for naming him that.


Didn’t phase him, he had obviously grown numb to a terrible name by high school. Hiawatha also had a literal retarded kid who was a god at Track, the Forest Gump jokes wrote themselves.


cc: @Huskerbuck85 @Link- @Woodrow F Call and maybe @slattimer

Hiawatha was cool! Lots of my roommates parents stayed there and we went swimming! Lots of us went to Neb when Solich was still around. We ate lots of steak and had women in our dorms each night. Lol "lots" hahaha

 

[Huskerbuck85]

Hiawataha KS had a kid on their team named “Luke Lucas” we told him his parents were drunk retards for naming him that.


Didn’t phase him, he had obviously grown numb to a terrible name by high school. Hiawatha also had a literal retarded kid who was a god at Track, the Forest Gump jokes wrote themselves.


cc: @Huskerbuck85 @Link- @Woodrow F Call and maybe @slattimer

They now have a kid that is a “furry” and identifies as a cat. No shit, they have a litter box in a janitors closet for it.

I’m not even fucking with you