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Dean text me this early this morning since he has nowhere to post it himself:
Well - it's come and gone. Always feels like my first time having sex. All sorts of anticipation, so much build up, sending pics of my meat (jerky this time), all to have it go too fast, and having him (my partner) leave me unsatisfied. Sure, I came in the first 3 seconds of arrival - but it didn't feel as special as I thought it would.
Regardless - here's my 3-2-1 on B1G Media Days - my Super Bowl.
3 THINGS WE LEARNED
1 - NEBRASKA DOESN'T HAVE ANY STAR POWER THIS YEAR
Some people might think this is bad - to sit, think, and come to the conclusion that your roster has gone the way of the Husker Online/Rivals partnership. Nothing to show for it. It became evident when the Media Days roster was announced. We spent a week thinking about who could've gone instead - and short of Casey Thompson, the former Big12 starting QB that is fresh off of a hand injury (not a big deal for a QB), no one came to mind. So we in the media room did what we do best - started justifying it by talking about how impressed we were that Frost was done sending his glamorous players and is sending his grittiest. Corn fed, mullet wearing, minimal experience mother fuckers that are probably going to take all the watch lists by storm...
2 - QUINTON NEWSOME IS DELUSIONAL
Some might complain that a relatively inexperienced DB stating that he's taking not being on his position award watch list personally is a bizarre and unhealthy trait. Not me - he's delusional - and I FUCKING LOVE IT. Son - you want to be on a national watch list when we don't even KNOW if you'll be on the 2 deep at the end of the season? Sure we can assume - but we don't know what we will be getting from him. That sounds like "star" potential to me. Also - he wore an alllllmost red suit - someone draft this mother fucker ASAP.
3 - SCOTT FROST HAD NO STATEMENT PREPARED
A lot of people have criticized this one. Not this distinguished journalist. Again - a gamble was made - and I LOOOOOOOVE IT. Scotty 2 Hotty whipped his big ole, Gate 25 impregnating, herpes covered hog out...and let me tell you from experience...it tasted GLORIOUS (see my opening first sexual experience comment above - spoiler alert I was talking about Scott there too). Sure it may come off like he has nothing to say at this point because of the disaster its been so far, sure it may come off like he didn't give a fuck about putting forward a positive outlook for his team, sure it may look like he forgot about the event entirely, and SURE, it may look like he doesn't want to do many of his responsibilities as a head coach. But I saw this as selfless, ready to take on the world, and completely normal.
2 QUESTIONS WE HAVE
1 - WHAT AM I DOING AS A JOURNALIST?
My most interacted social media post during media days was....drumroll pleeeeease...A PICTURE OF BEEF JERKY. Sure I love the sodium it provides to keep my pH balanced...but Jesus H. Christ...I AM A JOURNALIST GUYS! TREAT ME AS SUCH! RESPECT ME! How in the fuck did y'all interact with a beef jerky picture more than anything else?! (Checks Notes) Ok - so maybe I didn't post almost ANYTHING else during my super bowl...Sure the event is named after what I am "MEDIA" - but did you expect me to post useful thoughts, comments, and happenings? Get real. I put up a post of my favorite thing - beef jerky (again see my first sexual experience summarization above - jerky was involved in that too).
2 - WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?
I clearly have forgotten the purpose of Media Days. And I think it's because my job isn't relevant when Nebraska Football isn't relevant. Also - will someone hire me please?
1 - PREDICTION
If Nebraska has another losing or even mediocre season - I am going to suffocate myself inside of the extra large bag they gave me Jerky in. It will be the best smell to exit this world to.
Well - it's come and gone. Always feels like my first time having sex. All sorts of anticipation, so much build up, sending pics of my meat (jerky this time), all to have it go too fast, and having him (my partner) leave me unsatisfied. Sure, I came in the first 3 seconds of arrival - but it didn't feel as special as I thought it would.
Regardless - here's my 3-2-1 on B1G Media Days - my Super Bowl.
3 THINGS WE LEARNED
1 - NEBRASKA DOESN'T HAVE ANY STAR POWER THIS YEAR
Some people might think this is bad - to sit, think, and come to the conclusion that your roster has gone the way of the Husker Online/Rivals partnership. Nothing to show for it. It became evident when the Media Days roster was announced. We spent a week thinking about who could've gone instead - and short of Casey Thompson, the former Big12 starting QB that is fresh off of a hand injury (not a big deal for a QB), no one came to mind. So we in the media room did what we do best - started justifying it by talking about how impressed we were that Frost was done sending his glamorous players and is sending his grittiest. Corn fed, mullet wearing, minimal experience mother fuckers that are probably going to take all the watch lists by storm...
2 - QUINTON NEWSOME IS DELUSIONAL
Some might complain that a relatively inexperienced DB stating that he's taking not being on his position award watch list personally is a bizarre and unhealthy trait. Not me - he's delusional - and I FUCKING LOVE IT. Son - you want to be on a national watch list when we don't even KNOW if you'll be on the 2 deep at the end of the season? Sure we can assume - but we don't know what we will be getting from him. That sounds like "star" potential to me. Also - he wore an alllllmost red suit - someone draft this mother fucker ASAP.
3 - SCOTT FROST HAD NO STATEMENT PREPARED
A lot of people have criticized this one. Not this distinguished journalist. Again - a gamble was made - and I LOOOOOOOVE IT. Scotty 2 Hotty whipped his big ole, Gate 25 impregnating, herpes covered hog out...and let me tell you from experience...it tasted GLORIOUS (see my opening first sexual experience comment above - spoiler alert I was talking about Scott there too). Sure it may come off like he has nothing to say at this point because of the disaster its been so far, sure it may come off like he didn't give a fuck about putting forward a positive outlook for his team, sure it may look like he forgot about the event entirely, and SURE, it may look like he doesn't want to do many of his responsibilities as a head coach. But I saw this as selfless, ready to take on the world, and completely normal.
2 QUESTIONS WE HAVE
1 - WHAT AM I DOING AS A JOURNALIST?
My most interacted social media post during media days was....drumroll pleeeeease...A PICTURE OF BEEF JERKY. Sure I love the sodium it provides to keep my pH balanced...but Jesus H. Christ...I AM A JOURNALIST GUYS! TREAT ME AS SUCH! RESPECT ME! How in the fuck did y'all interact with a beef jerky picture more than anything else?! (Checks Notes) Ok - so maybe I didn't post almost ANYTHING else during my super bowl...Sure the event is named after what I am "MEDIA" - but did you expect me to post useful thoughts, comments, and happenings? Get real. I put up a post of my favorite thing - beef jerky (again see my first sexual experience summarization above - jerky was involved in that too).
2 - WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?
I clearly have forgotten the purpose of Media Days. And I think it's because my job isn't relevant when Nebraska Football isn't relevant. Also - will someone hire me please?
1 - PREDICTION
If Nebraska has another losing or even mediocre season - I am going to suffocate myself inside of the extra large bag they gave me Jerky in. It will be the best smell to exit this world to.
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