@Zack Carpenter I can’t see your board anymore since apparently Sean banned me from on3.
You have to sign your loyalty letter. Here are the revised terms and conditions…
Husker Online Terms & Conditions of Loyalty & Participation
Version 2025.7.1
Issued under the authority of Sean Callahan, Supreme Moderator of the On3 Corn Republic
Article I — Preamble of Allegiance
By subscribing to Husker Online, you voluntarily and irrevocably swear unwavering loyalty to Sean Callahan, First of His Name, Keeper of Portal Rumors, Breaker of Coaching Staff News, and Official Spokesman of the On3 Oracle.
You acknowledge that Husker Online is not just a message board — it is a way of life, a sacred digital institution upholding the values of grit, grind, and going 8–4.
Article II — Statement of Ideological Alignment
All applicants (i.e. subscribers) must submit a 500-character minimum essay outlining how they will:
- Faithfully uphold the content priorities of Sean Callahan and the On3 Network,
- Defend the sacredness of “Tunnel Talk” from haters and beat writers from lesser outlets,
- Promote pro-On3 narratives during disputes with 247 turncoats or Rivals apostates,
- Accept all Transfer Portal news as gospel, even if it’s later walked back.
Note: Submissions referencing “objectivity,” “balanced coverage,” or “free speech” will be flagged and forwarded to the Moderation Tribunal.
Article III — Code of Conduct & Submission
Subscribers agree to:
- Praise Moderators Frequently – All references to Sean Callahan must be preceded by the phrase “Respected Insider and Prophet”.
- Echo On3 Talking Points – Subscribers shall repost On3 speculation within 4 minutes of publication or risk a 72-hour read-only penalty.
- Swear Fealty During Postgame Threads – Particularly after inexplicable losses to Illinois.
- Renounce Non-On3 Sites – References to other message boards shall result in automatic thread deletion and a public trial by emoji reaction.
Article IV — Loyalty Enforcement Mechanisms
Failure to exhibit appropriate allegiance may result in:
- Demotion to “Casual Fan” status
- Revocation of GIF privileges
- Public shaming via Callahan Quote of the Day feature
- Mandatory attendance at 6 AM Loyalty Zooms with Steve Sipple
Repeat infractions will be forwarded to The Council of Interns, where you may appeal to earn back privileges by transcribing Sean’s most recent podcast appearance word-for-word.
Article V — Voluntary Oath
Before account activation, all subscribers must recite the following aloud:
“I pledge to support the mission of Sean Callahan, to refresh the On3 homepage 14 times a day, and to never question a Crystal Ball pick. So help me Rhule.”