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Breaking ***TPB Exclusive: Scrote Stats***
- Thread starter Baron Winnebago
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Breaking ***TPB Exclusive: Scrote Stats***
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I love it so much
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That's awesome 🤣
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Scrote's Revenge Loss #6: Texas Tec48 UCF 9.
Coach Scrote and the gang made a return trip to Texas a few weeks after getting absolutely pants'd by Dave Aranda's Baylor Bears. But unfortunately for Coach Scrote redemption in the Lone Star State was not on the menu as they faced off against presumptive Big 12 favorites Texas Tech lead by Tiny Baby Coach's dad and former Matt Rhule assistant Joey McGuire. And it sure does seem like Papa McGuire's balls have dropped and he dropped them right on Scrote's face.
Texas Tech ran out to a 21-0 lead before UCF's converted a first down. But the Knights got a glimmer of hope when a hold in the end zone put them on the board with a safety. Sadly, however they failed to capitalize on the momentum and headed into half down 38-2. The second half featured a mostly disinterested hopeful national title contender running the clock and looking to get out of there injury free and the Red Raiders held the ball for the final 10 minutes of the game to ice a 48-9 victory.
Coach Scrote noted in the post game that UCF didn't match Texas Tech's preparation and physicality and that these things would come with time as his really special group of guys turn into Frost Davidians. However as my grandma used to say "you have to learn how to not crap on yourself during Sunday Mass before you can executed football at a high level" and I feel like that statement holds here. Scrote's boys turfed the ball 4 times (only losing 1) and racked up 5 more procedure penalties including one on a kick off (lol wat). Scrote employed his screen heavy game to minimize negative plays but the Knights still gave up 4 sacks and 8 TFLs on what would be an otherwise forgetful afternoon.
Scrote's Revenge Stat #6: Execution. It's the state motto of Texas and also a prerequisite for winning football games at a high level. Of course the national lead in procedure penalties is a sign it's not up to snuff in Orlando right now, but turfing the ball 4 times is also very not good and even though the Knights only lost 1, it's not a promising sign.
But how did Scrote do with fumbles in his time in Lincoln? Many of you probably have The Scrote Era fumble stats tattooed on your body to remind you that it can never happen again, but lettuce review.
2018: 2.4 fumbles per game, lost 1 per game.
2019: 2.2 fumbles per game, 1 lost per game
2020: 2.8 fumbles per game, 1.1 lost per game
2021: 1.1 fumbles per game, 0.5 lost per game.
Fortunately for UCF, even with the debacle of turfing the ball yesterday, they're at 1.1 fumbles per game with 0.5 lost. Maybe we've found the 1 thing in Scrote's tenure that improved and he actually carried it over. Or maybe it's just luck
Coach Scrote and the gang made a return trip to Texas a few weeks after getting absolutely pants'd by Dave Aranda's Baylor Bears. But unfortunately for Coach Scrote redemption in the Lone Star State was not on the menu as they faced off against presumptive Big 12 favorites Texas Tech lead by Tiny Baby Coach's dad and former Matt Rhule assistant Joey McGuire. And it sure does seem like Papa McGuire's balls have dropped and he dropped them right on Scrote's face.
Texas Tech ran out to a 21-0 lead before UCF's converted a first down. But the Knights got a glimmer of hope when a hold in the end zone put them on the board with a safety. Sadly, however they failed to capitalize on the momentum and headed into half down 38-2. The second half featured a mostly disinterested hopeful national title contender running the clock and looking to get out of there injury free and the Red Raiders held the ball for the final 10 minutes of the game to ice a 48-9 victory.
Coach Scrote noted in the post game that UCF didn't match Texas Tech's preparation and physicality and that these things would come with time as his really special group of guys turn into Frost Davidians. However as my grandma used to say "you have to learn how to not crap on yourself during Sunday Mass before you can executed football at a high level" and I feel like that statement holds here. Scrote's boys turfed the ball 4 times (only losing 1) and racked up 5 more procedure penalties including one on a kick off (lol wat). Scrote employed his screen heavy game to minimize negative plays but the Knights still gave up 4 sacks and 8 TFLs on what would be an otherwise forgetful afternoon.
Scrote's Revenge Stat #6: Execution. It's the state motto of Texas and also a prerequisite for winning football games at a high level. Of course the national lead in procedure penalties is a sign it's not up to snuff in Orlando right now, but turfing the ball 4 times is also very not good and even though the Knights only lost 1, it's not a promising sign.
But how did Scrote do with fumbles in his time in Lincoln? Many of you probably have The Scrote Era fumble stats tattooed on your body to remind you that it can never happen again, but lettuce review.
2018: 2.4 fumbles per game, lost 1 per game.
2019: 2.2 fumbles per game, 1 lost per game
2020: 2.8 fumbles per game, 1.1 lost per game
2021: 1.1 fumbles per game, 0.5 lost per game.
Fortunately for UCF, even with the debacle of turfing the ball yesterday, they're at 1.1 fumbles per game with 0.5 lost. Maybe we've found the 1 thing in Scrote's tenure that improved and he actually carried it over. Or maybe it's just luck
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Final Scrote Stat of the season dropping tonight or tomorrow depending on alcohol consumption
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1 winning season in 8 years as a head coach.
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Scrote's Revenge Loss #7: BYU 41 UCF 21
Well folks Corch Scrote had his back against the wall in UCFs season finale with bowl eligiblity on the line and trust me you don't not want to see Scrote when he's got his back against the wall, unless you also want to see a lovely waitress from Gate 25 performing fellatio on him (allegedly). And if you're into that, it's totally cool, lots of former athletes are into watching their buddies get blown or being watched getting blown or visiting the Eiffel Tower...
Sorry. I forgot what I was talking about. Yeah so anyways, Corch Scrote headed on out to Provo Utah to take on the BYU Cougars who are fighting for their playoff lives and their own planets after they die as long as they can avoid the aforementioned act of fellatio out of wedlock, but again I digress.
UCF came out full of piss and vinegar and tagged the Cougars for a TD on the opening possession, then forced a 3 and out, then scored again to take a 14-0 lead on the playoffs hopefuls to the end of the first quarter. This was the moment Corch Scrote has been waiting for, his redemption. His maiden voyage in Lincoln ended with a loss to drop his record to 5-7. Not this time Corch Scrote probably thought. The Knights had the upper hand and piled up 127 yards on BYU in their opening 2 drives.
Regrettably, brick shithouse Kalani Sitake had other plans and BYU rattled off 31 unanswered points to take a commanding 31-14 lead. UCF pulled if back to 31-21 on a short half back pass but the Cougars scored the last 10 to win 41-21. The game featured UCFs lowest rushing out out of the year, an intercepted double reverse pass, a punt return touchdown for BYU by apparently a really fast cracker.
There's no shame going 5-7 in your first year and missing a bowl game. Corch Scrote has in fact lost 7 games in all of his debut campaigns, though one was a bowl game his 1st season at UCF last time. No where to go but up!
Scrote's Revenge Stat #7: Since Corch Scrote will be staying home this holiday season, I cannot give you the joy of a December Scrote Stat so I'll double you up here to make your Kwanzaa that much better.
-Corch Scrote drops to 2-3 in games with bowl eligibility on the line. Wins both first stint at UCF, last game losses his first two years in Lincoln + this one (never had bowl eligibility on the line in 3 of his 5 seasons, 3-9, got fired, and then voted against in 2020 for the fattest fucking L of all)
- UCF scoring to go up 14-0 with 3:40 left in the 1st was Scrote's first double digit lead against a ranked opponent since the play before that infamous Cockeye blocked punt TD in 2021, which you can find described in gory detail in the very first post of the thread
Thank you all for coming along on this beautiful journey of self discovery and personal growth and the Scrote Stats team will see you back in 2026.
Well folks Corch Scrote had his back against the wall in UCFs season finale with bowl eligiblity on the line and trust me you don't not want to see Scrote when he's got his back against the wall, unless you also want to see a lovely waitress from Gate 25 performing fellatio on him (allegedly). And if you're into that, it's totally cool, lots of former athletes are into watching their buddies get blown or being watched getting blown or visiting the Eiffel Tower...
Sorry. I forgot what I was talking about. Yeah so anyways, Corch Scrote headed on out to Provo Utah to take on the BYU Cougars who are fighting for their playoff lives and their own planets after they die as long as they can avoid the aforementioned act of fellatio out of wedlock, but again I digress.
UCF came out full of piss and vinegar and tagged the Cougars for a TD on the opening possession, then forced a 3 and out, then scored again to take a 14-0 lead on the playoffs hopefuls to the end of the first quarter. This was the moment Corch Scrote has been waiting for, his redemption. His maiden voyage in Lincoln ended with a loss to drop his record to 5-7. Not this time Corch Scrote probably thought. The Knights had the upper hand and piled up 127 yards on BYU in their opening 2 drives.
Regrettably, brick shithouse Kalani Sitake had other plans and BYU rattled off 31 unanswered points to take a commanding 31-14 lead. UCF pulled if back to 31-21 on a short half back pass but the Cougars scored the last 10 to win 41-21. The game featured UCFs lowest rushing out out of the year, an intercepted double reverse pass, a punt return touchdown for BYU by apparently a really fast cracker.
There's no shame going 5-7 in your first year and missing a bowl game. Corch Scrote has in fact lost 7 games in all of his debut campaigns, though one was a bowl game his 1st season at UCF last time. No where to go but up!
Scrote's Revenge Stat #7: Since Corch Scrote will be staying home this holiday season, I cannot give you the joy of a December Scrote Stat so I'll double you up here to make your Kwanzaa that much better.
-Corch Scrote drops to 2-3 in games with bowl eligibility on the line. Wins both first stint at UCF, last game losses his first two years in Lincoln + this one (never had bowl eligibility on the line in 3 of his 5 seasons, 3-9, got fired, and then voted against in 2020 for the fattest fucking L of all)
- UCF scoring to go up 14-0 with 3:40 left in the 1st was Scrote's first double digit lead against a ranked opponent since the play before that infamous Cockeye blocked punt TD in 2021, which you can find described in gory detail in the very first post of the thread
Thank you all for coming along on this beautiful journey of self discovery and personal growth and the Scrote Stats team will see you back in 2026.
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Knocked it out sober. Still worked in an athletes and group sex reference.
Now to not sober time...
Now to not sober time...
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@Baron Winnebago Can Corch Scrote repeat this again in 2026? Unfair expectations however still wondering.
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My very complicated statistical models that are best in the industry are saying that yes it will be another year full of losses and embarrassment
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Looks like a dude I see on my way into work at the corner of 13th and harney
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Coke off of balloon knots past the age of 30 will age a man
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