Inside Info Please Speculate Recklessly

[kenyanfeline]

I need your help.

Waterboy has been radio silent for nearly 48 hours. Mom has tried to call him and he won’t answer. She’s freaking out thinking he’s been in an accident or had a medical episode.

So naturally, I’m coming up with outlandish theories to explain his silence. For example, I sent her an article about how the Irish Mob was still alive and operating, and it sent her into an absolute tail spin.

Am I a bad son for this? Probably. Is there a chance that Waterboy is dead in Ireland and I’m going to look like a major asshole for making light of it? Possibly.

But I don’t give a shit and it’s too entertaining.

So here’s what I need from you: Ideas/theories that I can float to my mom about the whereabouts of her precious Waterboy.

Rules: there are none. Nothing is off limits. Dead in a ditch? Suffocated under a fat Irish prostitute? All are fair game. Thanks in advance.

 

[CornFed Gregger]

The positive scenario
The negative scenario

 

[That SOB Van Owen]

Obviously arrested and in gaol after starting a fight at a local casino.


Either that or the ginger he was going to smash the other night harvested his kidneys and left him for dead.

 

[vailhusker]

Obviously must have met up with the girl on the left -

 

[Dell Husker]

Have her watch some Peaky Blinders.

Or just blame Russia somehow

 

[ChocaEgg]

All jokes aside, he's probably OK. I'd bet on drunk/hungover & no phone charger after a tinder date

 

[vailhusker]

All jokes aside, he's probably OK. I'd bet on drunk/hungover & no phone charger after a tinder date

Probably sealed the deal with the "Catholic" ginger sasquatch from the other day.

 

[HuskerGarrett]

Prayers up for the young lad

 

[MtnHusker]

Too much Irish Whisky one night and made a bad life changing decision.

 

[Pipe Line]

Hungover as absolute shit and absolutely not wanting to talk to mom

 

[Jim14510]

Ok I'll go...

How about you heard a story where they kidnap Americans for the underground Hostile murder fantasies. Like the people torcher them and murder them in horrendous ways.