If Rhule leaves and we strike out on Kiffin and DeBoer, who do we sacrifice in order to appease the hiring god?

[Kaladin]

Schenoxilopakaka is the god of hiring good football coaches. If Rhule leaves and Lane and Kalen turn us down, we will almost certainly need to make a sacrifice to Schenoxilopakaka.

Who do we sacrifice? A journalist? A tPB member?

What say you?

 

[That SOB Van Owen]

Dean duh

 

[Ironwardog]

Dean duh

 

[Kaladin]

Dean duh

But would Schenoxilopakaka accept Dean?

 

[Herbie]

@TampaBaySkers

 

[Larry Fisherman]

Gotta be TO right?

 

[Juro]

Gotta be TO right?

I was thinking Lil’Red, but your suggestion, oof, that’s a little dark for me.

 

[Dr.DrakeRamoray]

 

[Larry Fisherman]

I was thinking Lil’Red, but your suggestion, oof, that’s a little dark for me.

desperate times and all that

 

[Irv]

I feel like you could’ve just asked AI this question.

 

[That SOB Van Owen]

I feel like you could’ve just asked AI this question.

@Cavalot

 

[Kaladin]

I feel like you could’ve just asked AI this question.

How would AI know

 

[Baron Winnebago]

I feel like you could’ve just asked AI this question.

I'd sacrifice Sam Altman

 

[realbp]

Wilson Dittman

 

[Kaladin]

Wilson Dittman

Ok but would Schenoxilopakaka accept Dittman?

 

[realbp]

Ok but would Schenoxilopakaka accept Dittman?

I don't know. I'm not in the loop on Schenoxilopakaka and that's ok. I don't need to be in the loop or out of the loop. I'm good just being aware the loop exists.

 

[djw004]

I was thinking Lil’Red, but your suggestion, oof, that’s a little dark for me.

This is way bigger than just one sacrifice.

First things first: Rhule has to kill Lil Red as his parting gift to the University

Next would be Biblical: T.O. has to take out Scott Frost a la Abraham and Isaac

After That: Houston Nutt would need to get on a Private Plane (difficult for him) and fly in to take out Steve Pederson

Then: Pelini gets to take out Eichorst, Mike Riley does have to be present to give his patented thumbs up much like Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator

FINALLY: Solich has to take out T.O., a difficult breaking of a friendship a la Obi-Wan and Anakin's battle.

Tickets should go for about 300 a pop on average for all of that action, with seating similar to the 92,003 for Volleyball Day in Nebraska. Adding one seat for a new record, we would be generating 27,601,200 as a Roster Purchasing Donation to the new Coach to be named, and the blood spilled is the offering to the gods.

Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk

 

[That SOB Van Owen]

Ok but would Schenoxilopakaka accept Dittman?

Do you think he would take Dittman and Dean as a package deal?

 

[Kaladin]

Do you think he would take Dittman and Dean as a package deal?

See that’s the thing I don’t know if Schenoxilopakaka is a quantity or quality type of god

 

[biscuitgaze01]

We sacrifice @Adolph Coors in front of the TO-Brook Barringer statue for good fortune if this occurs.